Yummy sounding TF Waffles

Make this the evening before:
2 cups of whole wheat flour (I usually mix 1 cup of whole wheat, 1/2 cup of oats, 1/4 cup of barley, 1/4 of buckwheat, anything goes really, spelt is good too)
2 cups of kefir (I make my own from raw milk, but commercial whole milk yoghurt will do fine too; you can also use regular whole milk, but add 2 T. lemon juice to it, the idea is that the grains are in an acid environment for some hours, it makes a thinner batter though)
Let this sit on the counter overnight.
The next morning, add 2 beaten eggs, 2 T. melted butter or coconut oil, 1/2 tsp. salt, 1 tsp baking soda, and whatever else you like in waffles, like blueberries and/or chocolate chips :-)
The soaking overnight predigests the grains and makes this not as heavy as one would think, on the contrary. And it is very nutritious. Because of the dairy and fat, you don't get a carb overload, but a more balanced meal

Friday

My definitely, no shadow of a doubt, most favoritist day of the week. An expanse of free time (at home, none the less) stretches out in front of me..... and almost everytime, I make a huge list of stuff that I would like to get done, and usually doesn't.

Doesn't mean I'll stop making the lists, though.

I want to....

...refile/file the papers that are starting to take over the computer room (but that would involve cleaning out the closet that the litterbox/catfood bowl is in, and I'm not ready for that. For fucks sake, there is still catfood in his bowl)

...clean the bathroom (that might actually get done - I want to try out some of the biosafe cleaners I got - the laundry detergent rocks, thus far)

...take down the tent (it should be dry by now) and deflate the air matteress (likewise, should be dry)

...clean all the random junky shit from in front of the house/garage to the junk pile.

Otherwise, there will be sleeping - reading (I plan on finally getting into Nourishing Traditions!) and general layaboutedness. Actually, I think C is working all weekend, so I MIGHT actually get a little more stuff done than I do when he's home.

I want to find a cheaper substitute for the 'no-cut' cutting boards that I can use. I cringe at the thought of spending 40 odd bucks on a TINY cutting board - that just seems insane to me. I suppose I could use the cardboard one - but I think that repeatedly cutting through paper like that will dull the blade of the rotary cutter. I was thinking of a HUGE white board from the thrift store might work (I could even make lines on it) but I don't know. Those rotary cutters are SHARP - but I really think that'll be the only way I'll be able to cut fabric STRAIGHT. *sigh*

Only an hour left. If I had a book in my car, it would be less than that - I could escape and chill between now and the accupunturists appt.

Hrm, maybe I'll play some Cake Mania instead.

a few minutes later....

I love the interwebs.

Getting Pregnant in the Summer Lowers Your Child's IQ

A recent study at the Indiana University School of Medicine has found that children conceived during the months of June, July, or August had lower math and language scores than their peers conceived during the rest of the year.

Why?
Researchers suspect that the smoking gun is the more than one billion pounds of pesticides used annually in the U.S. Most pesticides are used during the summer months.

"The fetal brain begins developing soon after conception. The pesticides we use to control pests in fields and our homes and the nitrates we use to fertilize crops and even our lawns are at their highest level in the summer," Dr. Paul Winchester, director of the study, said recently.

According to the American Pregnancy Association, even household gardening pesticides are well-known to put pregnant women at high risk for many birth defects, including oral clefts, neural tube defects, heart defects, and limb defects.

Domestic pesticides are the fastest growing segment of pesticide use. However, there is a connection between all pesticide exposure and birth defects.

"We actually found that every single birth defect category had a greater risk between April and July," Winchester said. "It suggests that with seasonal factors, something is conferring increased risk."

Winchester also noted that the study concluded that statistics for premature birth, the number two cause of infant mortality in the United States, can also be connected to the months when pesticide use is highest.

The evidence in this latest study shows that the trend in pesticide exposure, especially pesticides found in drinking water, is related to trends in test scores many years down the road.

"We have now linked higher pesticide and nitrate exposure in surface water with lower cognitive scores," Winchester said. "Neurodevelopmental consequences of exposure to pesticides and nitrates may not be obvious for many decades."
He added, "What I would like to see is large constituencies asking legislators and health officials to ask the questions in a better way. Drinking water in 16 states in the U.S. is contaminated with pesticides during June, yet many water providers don't even send samples in June."

For women who are pregnant during the summer months, the American Pregnancy Association offers this advice for handling pesticides around the house:

•Have someone else, preferably a professional, apply the pesticides
•Leave the area for the amount of time indicated on the pesticide package
•Remove food, dishes, and utensils from the area before the pesticide is used
•Wash the area where food is normally prepared following any application of pesticides in the home
•Open the windows and allow the house to ventilate after the treatment is completed
•Wear protective clothing when gardening to prevent contact with plants that have pesticide on them.

Winchester will now turn his attention to children with learning disabilities and their conception date to see if there is another correlation.

Internal Damages

I've always been - well, no. Not always. Lately, I've been wondering if my abortion (8 years ago! holy cow!) maybe - damaged my uterus somehow. I've heard of the cringing and problems that D&C could cause, and - well, the thought was always there.

Then, today, and I don't know why (maybe my period starting? or maybe something I read on cbirth) I started thinking about the actual procedure - and it struck me that they used some sort of vacuum type thing - definitely no blades. I looked it up, and apparently I had a EVA (Electronic Vacuum Aspiration) done - which has a much lower rate of uterine damage than a D&C does.

So, that's an oddly huge relief. What impacts the abortion may have had on my heartfeather, I don't know - I felt enourmously at peace with it then, and I still feel at peace with it. If I end up being infertile, I doubt that I'll feel much peace with aborting the only child of my blood I would have ever had - but once again, I hope that I never have to cross that bridge.

Of course, the IUD could have done something odd too.

*sigh* It's insane, and it sucks, that almost all of the procedures/hormones/methods of NOT getting pregnant so often affect your long term ability to get pregnant when you are actually ready.

I've decided, since we are going to buy another Fertell test anyhow, I'll take the FSH test Saturday morning (CD3 according to FF - I'm totally dismissing the barely there spotting Tue/Wed), and it I fail (which oddly enough, I'm pretty sure I will - just like C did) we'll both retake them in 3 months, once we've finished our bottles of FertilityBlend.

I'm a little - relieved - and a little ashamed at the same time - that we are 'officially' in a NT/NA period right now. It gives us a little time to relax, and to reconnect. It gives me a little time to lose some bloody WEIGHT. In addition - it'll shift the end of the pregnancy more towards the cool months - as I'm really not looking forward to being 9 months pregnant in an air conditioned house in the South.

I wish I could find that article that mentioned that babes concieved during certain months have a lower IQ, overall, and how they believed that was a side effect of the higher levels of pesticides/pollution in the air in the summer months.

Hrm, I'll see if I can dig it up.

Oh, Stop it!!

I don't know what I'm bumping to cause those OLD entries to show up as my latest, but I swear, really, they aren't - I'm just strolling down memory lane.

In 2007 news - holy fuck, it's OCTOBER???!?!?!!?? I mean, okay, obviously that happened about 11 days ago, but DUDE! This year feels like a blur - WHooooosssshhh! Which ya know, is one of the reasons I'm strolling down memory lane - it's amazing how much has happened (and hasn't happened) over the few years I have in OD. Okay - I've BEEN here for seven years, but I've winnowed down my diary a couple of times between now and then.

I'm totally not ready for it to be cold yet - I don't have many inbetweeny clothes (because I'm HUGE! Oh my god, I'm soooo fat), and it's still too warm for winter clothes.

I'm in love with skirts (floorlength ones) but none of my winter skirts are long enough. Can you make nice skirts out of pillproof fleece? I'm thinking they might look like wool.

I don't have any shoes - I've (finally) released my addiction to heels (I think it's been the long skirt thing - I don't care so much about how my legs look *laugh*) and I've been wearing thongs/crocs all summer (when I'm not barefoot altogether) and - my toes are getting cold! I think I'm going to do ballet slipper type things....

Gahhhhh! I need to go clothes shopping (or sew) and I so don't feel like doing EITHER.

As I've been meandering down memory lane, I've stumbled across the two (or three - maybe four??) different weight loss/health efforts I've made, and ya know what? I suck. *lol* I mean - seriously, I'm literally the EXACT SAME WEIGHT I was 5 years ago. Which, I suppose could be a good thing, if that weight wasn't so damn overweight that it's insane, AND if I hadn't lost close to 90 pounds inbetween there.

*sigh*

I finally broke down and ordered the full price treadmill - It's hate to walk around the yard as I have to coat myself with OFF. It stinks.

Speaking of stinky - I've stopped using deodorant! *l* I use this bar from Lush (www.lush.com - beware, you will fall in LOVE) and it's WONDERFUL. I smell - good. Human, rather than some chemicalized version of a spring rain coated with baby powder.

Urm. What else?

I have about another 200 books I need to add to my LibraryThing - I love bookclosests.com and the thriftstore - oh, love! And I refuse to shelve them, so they are scattered alllll over the place - *headshake*

I should most likely do that this weekend.

So, how are ya'll?

Poem for the Dark Moon

REST OF LONGING

Trust those places
With no way out,
The dark corridors
Of your longing.

In fact, entrust them
More than you give
To daylight, which disappears
With fall of night.

Only hidden light
Who waits for you
In darkness
Can reveal the invisible
Passage from darkness
That leaves nothing
Behind.

Jack Weber

Differences....

It's funny - after I posted that last entry, I realized just how superficial I've become when it comes to journaling - I mean, really? Camping? *laugh* Okay, not to say that the time I spend with C isn't infinitely valuable and worth writing about, but really - there is more going on in my head than just grocery lists of what I'm doing from day to day. That's a calendar, not a journal.

Anyhow, I suppose I'll get into something interesting, eventually. I still need to finish transferring all my other words here, too. Ah, that might be a nice way to muddle through the rest of the day.

---

Still not pregnant - about to start my period in fact. I had a tiny little vein show up on the TP yesterday afternoon, and when I checked CP today, there were little gobs of blood there. They remind me of the little 'sections' in citrus - I don't know what they are called - the tiny nobules that actually form the fruit? Like that.

I'll be able to take the Fertell test, too - if I start good and 'light' today, I'll mark today as CD1, and Thursday would be CD3 - the new moon, how appropiate. Maybe that's a good omen, that the moon will be waxing then.

It's officially past the six month point, now, and it's almost to six cycles. It's interesting how my attitude about TTC'ing has changed. I still think that a LOT of women go a little crazy - but I can see how easy it is. I mean - my mind slams shut the door that even murmurs that we might never have children - it's just - not in my mental view right now. We have a good way to go before that door should even be approached - it's the dark at the end of the tunnel, for me.

---

Ugh. Coworkers are getting flu shots enmasse - *headshake* I don't even bother commenting - pumping themselves full of all that crap before the season even STARTS and they know what strain is going to be a problem is SO freaking pointless. I think vaccines are the modern day equivalent of raindances to the Gods of Health - when they work, it's all 'Seeee!!' and when they don't (or when they kill) it's all convientently something/someone/God's fault. (The other god, not the medigods). Whatever, man, seriously. *makes a note to get some Echinea tea* What? I can still dance my own dance in my own way, I'm just saying, taking posion shots straight to the bloodstream just ain't MY way.

---

So, I've finally given up on getting the cheaper/clearanced treadmill - and Sears finally took it off of its site, so I'm satisifed in my determination to wait. I just ordered another one - but it won't be delivered until the 27th, because it won't be available to deliver this weekend, and next weeked is FOS and I don't know if C will be home, so it'll be the weekend AFTER that. Hopefully, that'll give me enough time to clean all the JUNK from in front of the garage (I swear, if people were judged by the outside of their house, we are SUCH slobs. Okay, fine, the inside too, but I'm just SAYING!) and pull it to the junk pile in the back of the house. It'll still be there, but it'll look nicer.
I might try to go to Sears and get a TV for in there too - I need to start doing my Qi Jong every morning - oh, and we're going to need a small heater, too. I think that'll just about wrap up the stuff we need for the gym.

---

I still need to gather my thoughts together on the life change that's opened up in front of me - I'm not sure how to explain it to myself, much less make others understand what I'm thinking.

Hrm. More later, I'm sure.

Weekends....

Last weekend and this weekend, C has had off, and it's been fabulous - we've spent so MUCH lesiurely time together - reading, talking, playing games - time when we aren't either just waking up or wiped from a full day of work.
I've really missed having this sort of time with him.

We are going to camp out in the backyard tonight - hot dogs, cheese & crackers, and smores - plus sake. *laugh* we have to be ourselves, camping or not. There's also boing to be music, and reading.....all in the comforts of our backyard.

He mowed part of the grass, and I made the store run - forgot to get extra ice, but we aren't traveling that far.

We are supposed to be installing ceiling fans this weekend too - hopefully we'll get at least one done tomorrow.

I need to get up and henna my hair at some point, before I go out there - for once, I won't have to worry about staining the bed....

Shit and Shinola, goodness gracious me.....

I've been dragging my feet for almost a year, getting to here.

I've got two livejournals, an opendiary, a yahoo 360, a hair journal, and I'm sure at least one or two other blogs/journals/online writing spaces that I'm spacing out on.

Why? Because - for some idiotic reason (okay, not so idiotic - I'm scurred) I decided to 'isolate' parts of myself from other parts. I almost want to blame it on a lack of tags at my main journal spot (OD), but really, that's not totally true.

A lot of places, I feel like - well, I shouldn't write about THIS here, because they aren't interested in that, or if I write about THAT there, it might totally change peoples view of me.

And ya know what? I was right. People weren't interested, and it would have warped peoples view of me, but ya also know what? That should have been done - because I'm writing - or at least I was writing - for ME. Not for those who read me, not for those who friended me, not for those who note me.

To limit myself because they MIGHT not understand - well fuck, I'm shortchanging both them AND me.

But - could never quite put my finger on HOW to break out of the boxes I had created for myself - how to start anew in an old place, without driving MYSELF crazy.

I signed up to Vox yesterday, just so that I could leave a friend a comment, and it hit me - go someplace NEW. Go someplace customizable. Go someplace where I might not HAVE any readers, and work from there.

So.

Here I am.

I think - I want to bring together all of my old posts that are scattered all over EVERYWHERE, and put them here. I think BS lets you backdate things.

So.

Hi, ya'll.

39 Things you'd LOVE to say outloud at work...

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of crap.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in  public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're  saying.
10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point  of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiny opinion would be...?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, & disorder-my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
39. Oh I get it... like humor... but different.

 

---

 

*wave*

Hi. Don't have much to say, but that amused me DEEPLY. The bolded ones are my particular truths.

*hugs all around*

I am reading, but I think I'm PMS'ing, so no notes. :lol I know how to keep my fingers still, at least.