Foggy

I think that I need some alone time very badly.  Since I started working at LB, I’ve had one day that was truly alone – just me by myself in the house. Other than that, the only time I have been all by myself is in the car – and considering I have to deal with the idiots who claim to be able to drive as I do that – it’s just not quite the same.  *sighs*

And now it’s time for the recap!

I played hooky from work on Friday – left work around 2:30 to enjoy the weather – drove around, went to a bookstore, then stopped in at two very chi-chi jewelers and a  artistic home store. The jewelers were wonderful and I think I may have found a jeweler to work with me and my garnets…maybe. I also spotted a wedding band that goes PERFECTLY with my ring…it’s by Jeff Cooper and I didn’t even bother asking the price – but it was soooo lovely. No diamonds on it, just a plain band…

Work was okay… *shrugs* Busy as all get out, but okay.  Saturday was more of the same, as was Sunday (as I had to work…*sighs* ) 

Me and Corey talked some more…I don’t know.  I am having a hard time processing what we are talking about…it’s like we are speaking two very different languages and what he has problems with are perfectly normal to me…and what I am talking about he doesn’t understand. I really don’t know…

*sighs*

One of my ‘friends’ on the most level headed wedding board I participate in found and took this Self-Counseling thingy called ‘Relate’. I’m going to do the first part today, and then see if he will be willing to do the second part tomorrow.  Then we can talk during the trip.
It’s not that we don’t want to talk about it. It’s not even that we don’t have a good idea of what the issues are – it’s more that we are having a hard time coming to an agreement of what to do about it.

Hmm…interesting little thingy. It should be quite interesting to see what we end up with. *sighs*

Jasmyn

Rings and Things

Designing jewelry ain’t as easy as it seems – esp. when I have no clue what I’m doing. I seriously suspect that whatever jeweler I work with is going to hate my guts by the time I’m done…but considering the amount of money I will most likely end up pouring into this project – that’s okay… s/he might not hate me AS much. Why do I say that?? Because the ideas that I have thus far are intricate and delicate as heck. :)


I love openwork rings – I think they are so pretty and manage to make wide rings look really delicate. Like this one: .
It’s sooo purty. But – I don’t quite want a Celtic design… I want something a little more modern.
So what I have come up with is a series of blocks – rather tile like in white gold – with the ‘grout’ in peach gold and openwork cut into the middle of each tile ‘shape’ – but in some of the larger tiles instead of having a cut out, there will be a bead set garnet. *grins* I’ve sketched out a most rough idea… and I think it will be pretty and MOST unique…I’m just not sure if it’s POSSIBLE. :)
Or I could go with something a little more organic looking – swooping swirling cutouts rather than blocky squarish ones.

Last night was wonderful – I went and got BabyGurl cleaned from the nitty to the gritty which took about an hour. So while they were cleaning every crack of me car I lounged in the sunlight and read Vogue. I STILL have not finished that blasted magazine…but’s it so fun! Then I picked up some new fingernail polish and headed home. I finished Corey Love’s taxes, then sat and sipped and chatted and watched wrestling and all in all it was a very nice night.

I work (and get paid) tonight, and I work tomorrow afternoon ( no closing for me – YAYYY!!!!) and hopefully I won’t have to work Sunday. I am SUCH the sales woman.

It’s odd how many compliments I have been getting on my hair…and it looks like CRAP. Yeech-bleh-blah.

Okay. Done for now.

Jasmyn

Jewelry Queen

Happy Tuesday!!

I’m in more or less of a good mood as i don’t have to work tonight, and Corey Love is cooking something…not sure what but he got some baby lobster tails last night (ummm…seafood) and as he is off today he has plenty of time to ponder on what will e cooked. *grins* I think he is trying to match the wonderful Hot Egg and Noodle success of Saturday night. I didn’t get enough sleep last night (when do I ever??) so I’m sleepy, but I’m fighting the good fight. Must – keep – eyes – open!!

On my way out the door this morning I grabbed the little bag that I kept the old jewelry in, and I rummaged through it really quickly once I got to my desk just to see what I had. I have a wide variety of shapes, and they are mostly all small enough to be used in a ring with no problem. I have 5 small hearts (from a ring), 1 large heart ( from a pendant), 6 ovals (from a pair of earrings, they had 3 each), 1 mediumish marquise (from a ring) 3 emeralds (from a bracelet) and 6 princess (from the same bracelet). So, all together I have 22 garnets, and I think that all but maybe 2 (the bigger heart and the marquise) are small enough to go in a ring. So, with a choice of 20 stones in 4 shapes, I know I can come up with SOMETHING that I will love.

*grins* Got a new obsession….got a new obsession!!

The rough rough rough starting ideas that I have are these:
I love love love openwork rings – I think the whole ‘carved’ look is so pretty – like these

from TitaniumCommitment.com or this
from the same place or this
from AlexiaGallery.com

Then, I like colored gold. Pink/Rose and peach are my favorites.

Pink/Rose


Peach


I also like geometrical designs and jewelry that looks ‘designed’ and crafted like these from AlexiaGallery.com as well:




I also decided that I want to wear this on the middle finger of my right hand, and I don't want it to be any wider than 8mm, which is about 1/3 inch. I want it in white gold, with colored accents.


Basically I want to end up with something that is totally unique and totally me, and unless someone else just goes and copies what I end up with will be the only one of it’s kind.

:) Much fun.

Jasmyn

That man.....

stolen from girlsoul

His name: Corey
His age: 27 last month. I tease him constantly by calling him an old old man.
How many years between you: 1 and a month.
How long have you been together: Almost two years now. Exactly 17 months, 7 days. This is the longest either of us have ever been with someone…and we plan on keeping it that way.
Eye colour: lightish brown. At least compared to mine which are so dark they can look black sometimes. He has unequivocally brown eyes. Soft eyes…almost puppy eyes sometimes.  
Hair colour: brownish black. 
Hair style: longish. I’m convincing him to let it grow so now it’s just a soft lovely curly afro. The perfect length to run my fingers through or to *ehem* hold on to.
Normal Outfit: For work he wears his chef clothes – the funny looking pants, the clogs, the coat and the hat. He is so cute in hats. Outside of work – Gentleman Thug. Jeans, sweaters, tee-shirts. Very urban but very stylish.
How did you meet: at a bus stop. I was reading, he came over to talk to me and we had such a wonderful conversation…my bus came first and I gave him my number (without him asking for it). That is the first time I have willingly given a man my number – esp. someone who just walked up to me on the street.  I think I smiled for the rest of the day. He took THREE days to call me – but once he did it was on from there.
How serious is it: Very serious. like – very very serious. So serious I can’t even put it into words. 
Do you love him: I love him. I love him so much it hurts and scares me sometimes because I know I am so weak when it comes to him. I love him more than I have loved anyone…he has and is my heart.
Does he love you: Yes…we are one of those pairs who love each other so much it’s scary. We fight and fuss and go through all that – but in the end we HAVE to solve our problems because it would break us if we let go.
Do your parents like him: I don’t know. My mom hasn’t really met him. They have talked on the phone a few times…but I have a general idea that she thinks he is cool. She didn’t raise a fuss when I told her we were getting married. Well…not too much of a fuss.
Do you trust him: I do…and I don’t. I trust him not to hurt me on purpose…but I don’t trust him to avoid an accident that might hurt me. That doesn’t really make sense, but yes. I think I might not trust him more because of fear issues I have than because of anything he has done.
Enough to drive your car(assuming you have one): Yeah. It took me a while (I mean we ARE talking about BabyGurl here) but I will let him drive it now.
Would you share a toothbrush with him: Yeah. I figure any yuckies he has, I have by now.
Does he let you wear his pants: Yup. Only sweat pants though as my butt is too big to get into any of his jeans. Though I have to admit I tend to not give him much of a choice.
Do you have a shirt of his to sleep in that smells like him: Actually no…I only wear clothes to bed when it is really cold anyhow – and he almost never does so there is no shirt of his I would want to steal to sleep in. And besides, my boobs are big enough that they would be a tight fit. *sigh*  And besides, if I really want to smell him and he isn't there, I steal his pillow.
Do you like the way he smells: I love the way he smells even when he is funky. It smells like Corey. How could I not love it??
Can you picture having kids with him: Yup. I think he will make a good daddy. We have agreed on two kids, with an option on a third. :)
What do you like the most about him: His intelligence. His willingness to let me do…esp. when he doesn’t understand what the hell I’m doing or why. His laughter. His passion for so much. His smile. His dedication.
What bothers you the most about him: His temper. His coldness. his rock headed stubbornness. His willingness to just let things flow. I think I dislike most of this stuff because it is just so opposite to me.
Does he have a temper: Yah…and by him having a temper it’s breathing life back into mine… which is a good and a bad thing. But it’s a flash temper…it flares up burns quick and then is gone.
What is the best present he's ever given you: Either the first dozen roses he gave me or my engagement ring. Not sure…
Does he have a cute nickname for you: *smiles* mostly Baby. That is the one he uses the most, but occasionally he will come up with something else.
Do you have a nickname for him: Baby, my love, my heart, LOML (light of my life). I usually only call him Baby, and I use the rest when I am talking about him. 
Are you happy to be with him: absolutely. even when I wonder if I am crazy to be with him...I'm happy about it. Even when I'm mad at him. Even when I just - grrrr - want to wring his neck...I can't imagine not being with him.
Do you think you could do better: no. Simply that. Nothing could be more than this. I don’t think I could handle it.

EBay is the devil

or - "I Need a Sugar Daddy!!"
*drools*

EBay has a PREMIER section - aaahhhhhhhhhh


On auction for $2,000 minimum – expected to go for up to $5,000



On auction for $2,500 minimum, expected to go for up to $7,000.


On auction for $1,250 minimum, expected to go for up to $3,500.

*sighs* Diamonds & Pearls. I think pearls and sapphires will fuel my next obsession.

soooo pretttttyyy!!!!

And how appropiate for a Smurf

I'm

BLUE You give your love and friendship unconditionaly. You enjoy long, thoughful conversations rich in philosophy and spirituality. You are very loyal and intuitive. Find out your color at Stvlive.com!

Role Modeling

I’m better – more or less.

It’s odd how we are struggling to a conclusion to an issue that we can’t really define.

It’s frustrating and scary to have no basis on which to base how ‘THIS’ works.  We are blazing our own trail, trying to create our own paradigm of how our life together is going to work.  In most things, we have at least a little experience in how things are ‘supposed’ to work.  When it comes to money – we have two very different philosophies of how we should handle it – both individually and in unison, and it makes arguments/discussions long and drawn out and tinged with so much other stuff that may or may not really have anything to do with the current issue.

I refuse to have the relationship that my mother and my stepfather had. Hell – I refuse to have the relationship that most of the married people I knew growing up had.  So instead of a guide towards what is good and purposeful – I have a ‘don’t go there’ list.  And while I’m avoiding the stuff on that list, I don’t have a concrete idea of where else we CAN go.

He doesn’t want to have his grandparents’ relationship…but he too has nothing else to base a marriage type thing on. 

We are flying blind and  right now, we are crashing into each other.  

But we are slowly working towards a conclusion.  It’s taking a lot of talking, some compromise, and a willingness to let go of blocks that protect us from others when it comes to each other – cuz they are preventing us from really being ‘us’.

Gah.  At least I’m not tired anymore.  And I get paid today.  And I don’t have to work Sunday. 

*sighs*

Jasmyn

Sooooo sparkly warkly....

*clears throat*

*climbs on really big rock*

*takes deep breath*

I GOT MY RINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was delivered to the house – but wonderful dense boy had no clue what it was.
And damn, it’s gorgeous.  No – you are not understanding me – this thing is lovely.   It’s big without being too big –  we could have gone smaller (but why??).  The setting is very simple, understated and elegant.  And dammit, it looks GOOD on me. I have to get used to it being there, as I keep catching little sparks out of the corner of my eye.  In this office it’s rather understand – just a shiny gleam. Outside though?? Oh my GOD!!! Rainbows and flashes of bright bright light.  Lovely – I want to get a digital camera JUST to take pictures of it.

*sighs*

I’m sated, satisfied and thrilled. 

I gave him his ring last night – he liked it but he didn’t like it as much as I did, so we are going to go out and look for something else. :) Which is quite okay with me…as I did the same thing…so most likely tomorrow when we go to set up the Wedding account, we might swing by the mall as well and try to find something more to his liking.

I’m relaxed, laid back and calm.

Now I need to find something ELSE to obsess about.

*Grins*

Pictures will be forthcoming.

Jasmyn

Impatience

*twitches*

My ring has arrived in Indianapolis.  *twitch* I think it’s at Corporate Center in the mail room *twitch* I want it want it want it want it *twitch* NOW!!!!!!  I hope that the mail goes out more than once a day. Please? Please?? *sighs* Well…just to avoid driving myself batty (any further), I have decided I’m not going to get it until tomorrow. That way, if I get it today, I’ll be overjoyed. If I get it tomorrow, I won’t be crazy from waiting.

Thankfully I did enough running around yesterday that Dear Heart didn’t even consider asking me about the ring. *sighs* If I get it tonight, I’m waking him up to present the gifts. Hell… if I get it  tomorrow I’m doing the same freaking thing. A very very last minute V-Day gift.  *sighs* 

I still don’t know what I’m getting him for his birthday.  Most likely the knives. *sighs*

Gah.

The kitlings were not TOO mad at me over the whole shutting them in a room thing…so I did it again today.  :)  They will forgive me I’m sure.  At some point. This century. 

*sighs* Baby showers are so much FUN!!!  I must admit, this is the first time that I have been at one where a man was the person of the hour, but he carried it off very well. Draped the clothes over his stomach and everything.  :)  He was surprised – I don’t know why as we collect money and give gifts for almost EVERYTHING.  *sighs* I wonder if they will throw me a wedding shower. People keep claiming  that I am going to be next.  Hmm.. maybe, but I doubt it.  *grins*  There are a couple of married men in the group…young childless married men.

I was thinking that if I could save about 6 to 8 months salary, AND have all my bills but the car paid off, I would feel comfy in taking a year off to take care of a baby. Talked to Corey love and we agreed that it will be at LEAST three more years before we have kids – but most likely not more than that.  And that would be great, as I have a 5 year IUD. So right around the time that it would need to come out, we could be preparing to start a family.  *nervous* Okay, I’m going to stop thinking of that now.

*sighs* Work tonight – work tomorrow – work tomorrow night.  Yeech.  Then I work most of the day on Saturday. I need SLEEP man.

*snores*

Jasmyn

Naming Conventions

*sighs* Only 1:30…and as I didn’t get here until a bit after 8 I would feel most guilty for leaving early. 

Have I mentioned the whole name thing? I have a relatively exotic name, that my mother picked for me.  My entire name MEANS something – Success in Life as a servant of the Protecting Friend.  Pretty cool, yes?  Now, as getting married was never really in my scope, I never even thought of the whole name change thing.  But now, I gotta think about it…and I don’t really like my options.

1)Keep my name – but I like the fact that after we get married we will be a ‘new’ family with the same last name.

2)Take his name – urgh. but I like my name,  and I would prefer to keep it.

3)Change both our names  - while that would solve problem 1, it would do nothing for problem two.

4)Have him take my name – I really don’t want that, and neither does he.  :)

5) Hyphenate – um no. My last name alone is more than long the freak enough.

6) Move my last name to my middle name, drop the middle name, and tack his onto the end.  – While this would allow me to keep my name in spirit, really I would be taking his name, as that is what I would be using.

7) Use his name in social situations and use my name officially.  – Blah. Too much freaking trouble.

Those are everything I have thought of, and none really spin my bucket.  For simplicity, I will most likely end up taking his name, and moving my last name to be my middle name. 

The reason I thought of this is because I have been trying to use the ‘new’ name as much as possible when I’m creating new internet accounts and stuff like that.  The more I hear it, the more I start to kinda get used to it, and my signature would be much shorter….but I just CAN’T give up my connection to my mom so easily.  Bleh.

Hmm.. what else?  I worked last night with this amazingly bubbly girly (21) who has been married for close to 6 months now. How sweet is that?  She did something and the thought struck me – I wonder if she is on OD?  I wonder how many people I know or run across or bump into are members of this community that I would never realize??

Also, I met a soror of mine, and something spurred me to ask her if she was a part of the grad chapter here.  I haven’t joined, first because I had no car and no way to get to meetings, but secondly because I am nervous around older black women… I have this odd urge to roll over and show my belly with most of them.  I’m not sure if it’s a matter of insecurity within myself, or if it is some transference of mother power or WHAT – I just know that I am not my usual self when it comes to most older black women…maybe I don’t feel all the way grown up, so I feel like I have to defer to them, and as I tend not to defer to ANYONE…it gives me a really odd feeling.  Anyhow, I got her cousin’s number (who happens to be the Regional Director) and I might call her. Maybe.

Hm. my network connection seems to have died (I HATE pigtails). Yet another reason to write entries in word.

Oh MAN!! How could I forget? I lost my snow virginity last night.  *grins* That’s right, it was snowing when I left work and I drove home through a mild snowfall. It was very cool, but thankfully it had all melted my this morning.  It was very pretty though, falling out of the sky so lightly, glistening in the street and tail lights. *sighs*  I still don’t like winter though. Cold crap. And it’s kinda warm today, in the mid 40’s. We have almost hit the middle of February, and if we can make it through this month, we might not get any ‘real’ snow this year.  Wouldn’t THAT be lovely.

Grrr… still no connection. *sighs* I might have to reboot.

Bah. Sucky computer. Need new one.

Jasmyn