Soooooooooooo..............

Synthetic hormones are the devils work. Seriously, ya'll.

Okay - what else? As yes - I knew I forgot to mention something in my last entry - but really, it deserves an entry of its own.

When I was coming back from an event of Tuesday, I drove past a sign at a psychics that talked about Chakra Balancing...and it started a train of thought in my head. I've almost always felt like I was - repressed isn't quite the right word - I've always felt that I wasn't living up to my full potential - laregly due to fear of - everything. And this isn't the phobia kind of fear, it's not the anxiety attack kind of fear - it's a deep rooted doubt that anything could ever possbily turn out right. *sigh* I'm still not explaining it well - but my fear has held me back from SO much - esp. the low level fear that warps my desires into - nothingness, really. So - back to the chakras.

I took a silly (or profound) little test that tells you if your Chakras are inbalanced. Rather unsuprisingly, my 'root' chakras are....off kilter. The lower two - the Root (which channels the energy to not fear, and to feel that you own your space) and the Sacral (which channels the energy to feel) are both very underactive. I paused, because I wondered/wonder if my abortion may have had anything to do with that. My upper Chakras however (the less physical ones) are working jsut fine - too fine, almost. So - that led me down the path of trying to find an energy worker in Memphis, and then that led me to the local NeoPagan group.

All of a sudden, I feel like I'm moving - I feel like - DOING stuff. I feel - lighter, almost - the way that I tend to feel when I've solved a problem - or at least know what the problem is. I've always been vaugely pagan, but have never really figured out what my true path is. I've always felt SOMETHING holding me back - it just never - felt quite right, and since I'm expecting the feeling of RIGHTNESS to greet me when I finally stumble across my path, I've let it slide. So - I'm going to start exploring my pagan side again....and try to find an energy worker (or at least a good accupuncturist) and funnily enough, as I was going through the groups notifications - they are offering an intro to Tantra class on Sunday. *blinks* It's - amazing really - how much better I feel once I'm moving again - even if it's only mentally.

I think that - well....hell... I'm not sure how to fully express this - but I feel like....I should REALLY heal myself. Fully, not focusing on just one area of - weakness, but holistically. And hell, I'm granola enough for it work. :)

Certification Comments

General: I know tons and tons of doulas who are not certified and this makes them no worse a doula, and I know some who are certified and in my opinion could be better doulas.

ALACE:
It was formerly Informed Homebirth and is the only program that was created by a midwife and promotes education and support based on a midwifery model of care.
I really loved it, particularly the philosophy and approach to the work, as well as the practical knowledge that is apart of the training, bringing women’s healthcare back into the hands of women.
The training I received was geared towards supporting women in hospitals and how to navigate the often antagonistic
if not hostile attitude of attending doctors and/or nurses.

CAPPA:
I have been hearing from current doulas about how they feel that CAPPA is not as well organized as it should be. I also found out that quite a few experienced doulas withdrew from CAPPA.

DONA:
As far as recognition goes the Hositals in Maryland readily recognize DONA. I know doulas certified through the other agencies who work in the area and people like myself who read the material but did not take any classes and also work but it is harder with out those little letters.
DONA too has it's ups and down, but I love the fact that they are in cohoots with Lamaze now .... PLUS their certification process to me seems more 'challenging',

GBI:
GBI (Global Birth Institute) here in Canada. I will be applying to their 10 month Diploma in Perinatal Services. This
is THE ONLY organization in the world that you can receive a diploma for these services.

ICEA:
I also really appreciate the mentorship and international model that is apart of ICEA’s program
From what I have researched, ICEA looks to be the one that works you the hardest, and this is good.

Doin it Doula

Aiighht....where to start, where to start?

Well.......there are (as always) multiple paths that I could take. I could go the apprentice route, or I could go the certification route. Because of who I am, and the timing around when and how I want to get this done, I'm going to go the certification route. That, of course, presents an entirely different set of options, as there are NINE different certification organizations, each with - a slightly different focus, a slighty different course list, a slighty different style. They are:
Childbirth International (CBI)
Doulas of North America (DONA)
Birthworks
International Childbirth Educations Association (ICEA)
Association of Labor Assistants & Childbirth Educators (ALACE)
Birthing from Within
Childbirth and Postpartum Professional Association (CAPPA)
Childbirth Education Foundation (CEF)
Global Birth Institute (GBI).

I sent out an email to the midwifery groups that I'm on to get some opinions about the different groups and so forth - I'll be listing them here as well. I think that I would be interested in either CAPPA, ICEA or ALACE the most not sure why not DONA - considering they are most likely the best known certification org in the states - or at least the biggest. But really, right now I'm not sure of ANYTHING.

One thing that I did do was go to all of their websites and grab their reading lists, compile them, list what orgs suggested them (as most had a long reading list and allowed you to chose 5-10 books from it) and found out how much they would cost.  There are close to 150 books on the list, and it rings up to about 2500.00 - not to bad for damn near a full doula library - one that can easily be expanded to a midwives library.

I'm going to gather some more input from various sources, and - once I figure out who I want to go with - start.

ASL & Spanish: Signing, Speaking & Signifying!

Spanish: This one is actually going to be pretty simple I think, as both C & I want to learn Spanish. So - we are (once we get our computer back) going to get some computer courses, and learn independantly, and try to speak mostly (80%) Spanish at home - that way, we will always have someone to practice with. We need to figure out which software we want - there are so many options!
Rosetta Stone
Berlitz
Learn Spanish Like Crazy!
Complete Immersion

ASL: I'm going to need to find a class for that, as I'm not comfy with the idea of learning it online - I figure that there has to be a load of cultural issues, as well as body language that I would need to learn and which isn't going to be accessible online. So - I've been looking online, and it seems that the main places that have ASL classes are churches - and as I am not a church-going woman, I wouldn't be really comfy with taking advantage of their resources. So - that search is still continuing.

 

 

Sudden

So. I think I'm going back to school. I'm poking/prodding at the thought very gently, skittish that it will somehow blow all up in my face.

There are three schools I'm mainly looking at - The University of Miami, The University of Florida, and The University of California, San Fransico. All three offer an acclerated BS to BSN to MSN with a specialization in Nurse-Miwifery, and they all last about three years.

The prereqs for all the school are about the same - Anatomy, Physiology, Microbiology, Statistics, Chemistry, and the UofM also wants an additional class in Behavioral Stats, Nutrition and Behavioral Science.

Looking at the IUPUI website, I see they have this thing called Weekend College. Starting in August, they offer full Anatomy & Physiology classes on Saturday and Sunday. I could take both of them the Fall Semester, then take the Micro and one of the other classes in the Spring. I've already taken Chemistry and Statistics, so I don't have to worry about them...though I might need to check on the 'expiry' date of the Chem classes because I believe I took one freshman year. Also - I can take the GRE at some point this year so I will know if I need to retake it before I apply to start school in Fall 2004.

I also need to figure out what sort of skills are required for entrance to the schools. Just the prerequisites and the GRE seems WAY too simple - I need to find out if any of the schools require clinical experience - thought I'm almost sure they don't.

The only issue - naturally, naturally, naturally! - is money. I think it's too late to try to find some grant like aid for the Fall session, but I should be able to find something for the spring, and I've already started to look for money for the CNM/MSN program.

I feel like a HUGE window has been opened that I'm looking out of - suddenly it seems like I CAN do this - most of my ambivalence about training to be a midwife has vanished - I KNOW I can do this. I KNOW I want to do this - I just don't know HOW.

---

Corey has an interview TOMORROW with a new resturant downtown. He won't have the luxury of 'good' hours anymore ost likely, but STILL - if he gets it he'll be making more money, and he will *dances madly* be back in Indy with ME. Him being back will also ease me going to school - I won't feel guilty about making him drive up to see me every weekend since my mornings would be gone. And - and! It would make it easier also because I would have a little extra cash - if he moved soon enough, I might be able to save close to enough money for tuition -it's only 140 bucks a credit hour, and I plan on taking 10 hours.
Also - I HATE not having him here because we don't talk nearly enough. When we are together we are so into vibing aboutbeing TOGETHER and having fun that we don't talk about the normal day to day stuff - and I KNOW I'm horrid about forgetting to tell people stuff. So there are things that go on here, that I totally forget to tell him about, but that he SHOULD be in the loop with. And I honestly believe that if we lived together - that out of syncness would be eliminated. Besides - I miss him.

---

I started The Artist's Way (henceforth to be known as TAW) Wednesday. It seems like a very - interesting book. I'm not going to prejudge however - I'm going to go through the program and just do it and see what results there are.
It interesting how the attitudes of several things that I'm working on are all coming together. Seven Habits focuses on changing how you handle and view your world as a way to change and improve your world. The Abrams Prosperity do-hickey talks about the energy you put out being reflected by the energy you recieve, and TAW says that as you open yourself to your creativity, it becomes easier to go further. I'm don't feel like I'm explaining this very well - but I feel like so MUCH in my life is coming together and simply fitting into each other and connecting in ways I wouldn't even have considered. I'm trying to take the advice of all these self-help books (which is really what they are) and simply relax and trust that with my determination and persistence and expectation, I WILL make my way.
As I told someone in a note - I KNOW that I will be a midwife - now all that is left is figuring out how.

---

I'm working to ameliorate the fact that I've never seen an actual birth - I've put myself on the request list for several birth videos from the library. I know it's nothing like live, but at least seeing what goes on will help me figure out if I'm up to it.
I still want to figure out a way that I can become some sort of labor/delivery support person WITHOUT quitting my job. The only other option I thought of was getting a childbirth educator (CBE) certification from somewhere, and teaching a class - then potentially I could be invited to a birth that way. Or - I could find someone who is giving the class now, and be an indispensible help to them (for free of course) and once again - maybe get invited to a birth or two. Really - I just need to get in good with a BUNCH of pregnant women - someone has to drop after work hours and on the weekend, right?
I also want to get some basic first aid training, including neonatal recusitation, and general crap like how to take a blood pressure and insert an IV. Stuff I can learn, and maybe even for free or really cheap in a one day training session. That way - I will be of more use than a pair of hands at a birth. I also could take pictures - I think that would be fabulous, but once again, I would want to have had some previous exposure to the birthing family than just showing up in L&D with a camera!

---

So. I've spent under 10 bucks this week, and I'm QUITE proud of myself. Two cheap food additions, and a couple of pens for the house (and for my morning pages). I'm not sure if we are going out to lunch this afternoon, but if we are I'm going to have to damp down my usual insticnt of ordering an appetizer, and just get a good filling entree instead. This weekend - I know that we are supposed to be going to a boat party and we are going to have to chip in for the meat. Then, we are thinking about going to a reggae show - but I can most likely get in free. I need to get my nails done...and that's about it. Without including the nails (which are PART of my budget) I should get through the weekend and spend under 20 bucks.
It's interesting how changing how I handle my money (just for the 3 weeks I've been doing it) de-stresses me. I'm not WORRYING about having enough money, cuz I"m not spending any. I know my bills are paid, I know I can get gas, I've got plenty of food. What else do I need to spend money on regularly? Nothing! And as the weather is getting nicer, I've got a whole outside to wander and read through and explore. I want to start taking walks around my complex - both to check out any potential photogenic areas, but also just to get me offa my heiny.
Speaking of heines - our belly dancing class found out that we are having a RECITAL May 27th.

Oh my.

Competition

Corey has no clue - but I'm near in LOVE with this man. Solely for his cutting, insightful, and utterly uncensored writings on his feelings about life as a black person in America.

And that's all I'm going to say about that.

---

Went to my first belly dancing class yesterday - I got there a few moments late because I couldn't figure out how to get into the building. I finally just gave up and hiked up my skirt and jumped the fence. Heh. It's - interesting. Takes a lot more thought than I expected - you have to concentrate on isolating sections of your body and ONLY moving them. And can I say that standing in front of a mirror THAT big on a weekly basis is going to keep me on the path of no dietary 'deviations'. I'm looking forward to keeping on with this class though - it's fun and it works some muscles I didn't even know I had. After just the first one, I'm sure I'll take it at LEAST once, and I want to take the Intermeadiate and Advanced classes too.
I've discovered something rather frustrating too. Actually - two things that are rather frustrating.
1) I'm VERY disconnected form my body. I have a hard time tapping into getting myself to MOVE the way I want to. I'm way too far into my own head to get further into my body. I'm sure its a side effect of YEARS of utterly NO physical activity more coordinated than walking, so I should be able to improve on that.
2) I am VERY flexible, and while that isn't a bad thing in the least, it makes it really impossible for me to stretch out certain parts of my body (like my shoulders, hips, back and obliques). I can bend until I simply CAN'T bend anymore (due to flesh getting in the way) and STILL not be stretching anything. I think I might swing by a bookstore tonight to and see if I can find a book about stretching - there's GOT to be something I can do.

I finally washed ALL of my clothes yesterday - seven loads (and that was JUST clothing). I counted, and I own 32 pairs of bras (retail price about 800.00 - I paid about 360.00). Once I narrowed them down to ones that actually FIT right - I was at 10 pairs.Well, only having ten bras will at least force me to wash clothes every week.
The ones I can't fit anymore aren't old (under a year - and with THAT many obviously they haven't been worn hard), and still in rather good condition. I'd feel HORRID to throw them out, but is there any place (womens shelter or something) that will actually TAKE bras? I know that Dress for Sucess won't take undergraments - but maybe I can call and double check with them - esp. since they are so big. They bend their rules for suits over a size 14, so maybe they will do the same for bras? I mean good support is the BEST way to look good in your clothes - esp. if you have some big ole bazoombas. I KNOW someone can use them...

This weekend, I plan on lounging about the house mostly. Cleaning some, finishing my centerpieces, and buying my COMPUTER & digital camera!! I got the money, and after a bit of internal debating because having one of those cards reflect a balance of 0.00 is just SO lovely, I decided to go for it. I want to start up a small business, and I simply don't feel RIGHT trying to operate that on the company's equipment. Ethically, it's just a little too far on the shady side. I have no problem with working on my novel(s) at work, as I have no plans of making money from them...
I don't know what computer I'm going to get (though I'm planning on getting a Gateway), but think I do know what camera I want - it's a tie between two very similar ones. Both Canons, as I love the 35mm Canon I have, and both PowerShots. One is the S40, and the other is the S45. *shrugs* Not a big difference between the two, and about a 50 dollar difference, but I need to get in a store and actually hold them to figure out which one I want.
And I'm going to get my tattoo too. On my way home tonight, I'm going to stop into Artistic Skin Designs and schedule some time with Tony (whose work I like the best) to get it done Saturday or Sunday. I'm soooooo excited. If I can, I'll take pictures with my new digital camera....

Educational

We more or less stumbled into homeschooling as I don't think that my mother ever PLANNED on homeschooling me. However, with the lack of 'acceptable' schools for me to go to and our perpetual moving, it simply made the most sense for me to be homeschooled.
We had very few 'classes', and the only one that was consistant were math classes (the one subject we both hated). I learned about fractions from cooking. I learned about all kinds of science stuff from the Children's Museum in Boston that we went to on a regular basis while we lived there. I learned about human sexuality from a wonderful little comic book written from a brother & sister whose parents are about to have a younger sibling. I learned about percentages calculating discounts at sales. Even with all the 'outside' learning, I did most of my learning from reading - I would get a textbook, read it, work with my mom on the exercises, do the test that came with the book, and move on. It was WONDERFUL. If it took me three months to 'get' long division - it took me three months. I wasn't rushed, pushed, failed, or in any other way made to feel that I wasn't living up to some sort of 'expectations'. If it took me two days to get through a science concept - I wasn't forced to keep 'learning' it because I was moving too fast for the curriculum. We just ordered the next level of books and moved on. I worked at about three different levels by the time I was 10 - college level for reading and writing, 8th or 9th grade for math, and 10th or 11th grade for science.
Being homeschooled encouraged a THIRST for knowledge in me. There were some things that I HAD to learn - but I wasn't limited in feeling like that was the ONLY thing I had to learn. If I was interested in something, we would go to the library, get a book on it and we would BOTH learn from it. I've realized over the past few months that I am a fount of bits of knowledge about all KINDS of things - and I think the freedom and flexibility of homeschooling had a lot to do with that. I don't think that kids in regular school have the time to have that kind of freedom because SOOOO much of what you learn in school you are forced to learn by memorization. I think the only thing I really memorized was the time tables, and even still I rarely used them. I learned to understand a concept, and from that understanding get the answer. So, nope - I don't know my time tables (except for the 2's and the 5's) but I can do simple multiplication and division in my head faster than most people can do with pen & paper - and sometimes even calucators. And math was my WEAK subject.
My transition from homeschooling to high school was a more or less seamless one. I was in a base level math class (Algebra I) but other than that I was in all high level classes. Educationally - even though I was in an accelerated college prep school - I didn't study all through high school and still ended up graduating as valedictorian. I can't even remember really WORKING hard on school work until I hit my senior year - and even then it was only math I was working on. I've never been too good at english grammar either, but my writing and comprehension skills were excellent enough that a little incorrect comma/semi-colon use was treated rather lightly. College was an entirely different story - but I think that going to school for the full 12 years wouldn't have made any difference as far as that went.
I also came to school with a very stable and settled self-image. I never really worried about peer-pressure, most of the time I didn't even really notice it. Up until 9th grade I was always my OWN person and judged that way. There were no cliques, no poplularity contests, no Jones to keep up with, so when I went to high school I KNEW I was different, but I never felt a lot of pressure to conform. I was never 'socialized' in the concept of group-think, and I think that almost balances the lack of social interaction before highschool.

I know that I definitely want to homeschool my children - or send them to a school that follows some of homeschoolings tenets (like a Montesorri school). The lack of social interaction can easily be balanced by allowing the children to participate in other activities, and I honestly can't think of any other regrets I have about being homeschooled. In fact, I'm QUITE thankful that I was homeschooled. I firmly believe that I would NOT be the 'acceptably quirky' person that I am today if I went to school for the full 12 years and I shudder to think of what I MIGHT have been...

Cobwebs

I want to write an entry about how tired I am, and how cobwebby my brain is, but it would be a string of complaints with a few repitions thrown in for good measure, so I won't. Instead - I'll wander down memory lane....


I was 3. Or 4. Somewhere around that age, and I was going to pre-school while I stayed with my grandmoter so my mother could attend school. I was the only child there who could read, and thus I was assigned to help other kids learn how to read - or at least learn the alphabet. I was helping this one young boy, and rather than practice his letters he wanted to puff up his cheeks with air. I got SOOO frustrated with him that I did the simultaneous slap on both sides of his face to force the air out of his mouth. I was horrified/ashamed, the teacher was outraged, and the poor little boy was in tears. I was stood in the corner for what seemed like forever, but instead of treating it like a punishment I pretended I was at the movies. I was always a defiant little cuss. The only other thing I remember from that school was falling in the parking lot while I was waiting for my grandmother and skinning my knee.
That's the earliest memory that I have that I am certain that I actually remember. All of the earlier memories I've been told about enough to not be sure if I actually remember it, or if I simply think I do.
From there - the next thing I remember for sure was meeting my stepfather-to-be for the first time. He was fabulous with children, and I fell for him right away. We played with a teddy bear and a plastic fishbowl - turning him into an astronaut for me to play with. I was obsessed with constellations and stars at that point, and didn't know that my eyes would prevent me from ever setting eyes on true space. I was 5 then.
After that - the memories come thicker and closer together. I couldn't tell you however, where we lived or what I did during most of the years I was say - 7 to 11 . I remember where we lived part of the while I was 8 - we were back in my mom's hometown, and living in the house of my dead great-grandfather. I remember where we lived at and what we were doing when I was 13 mainly because that was the year I developed in 6 months. I can remember everything after 14 - not only because it's MUCH more recent, but also because I started school then.
I treasure the few memories that I have, because I can't remember much of my childhood. One of the downsides to being homeschooled is that there is no set schedule to fit my memeories too. I had no summer vacations, no rememberance of a certain grade I was in when something happened to link to. I have flashes of high points and low points and the rest fades away into a blur. My mother and I were talking a few days ago, and she mentioned some places that we had livd that I have TOTALLY no recollection of - and I would have been 10ish while we lived there, which is more than old enough to remember. Most times though, I'm glad that parts of it are a blur. Some of the parts I remember - mainly from the years I was 13/14 - were utterly miserable. Eh. I've grown past most of it, though sometimes I wonder if I should get a therapist just to spew & spill to and help me clean out some of my cobwebs. Actually - it's more that I want someone with authority to reassure me that I'm 'okay' in most ways...with no more quirks or inner issues than most people have.
I know I'm quirky - I just want to be confirmed as being acceptably quirky.

Gather 'round...

Well.. since No Mermaid asked, and I’m not sure if I ever really recorded the sad tale of how I managed to be almost grown and still not driving… here goes the tale:

When my mother and step father got divorced for the last time (in 1990) me & my mom moved in with my grandma. As our finances were rather tight, my mother used my grandmothers car to get to work and so forth. In addition, I was not allowed (on the pain of death & higher insurance payments) to touch the car. Well and good, because my high school offered driving classes to any student over the age of 16. My birthday is in January, so after Christmas break I planned on taking driving courses…however, over Christmas break, the school board met and decided to stop offering driving courses as it cost too much. Another plan down the drain. None of my friends/boyfriends had a car, and as we lived about 20 minutes from Philly, public transportation was great, and therefore there was really no pressing reason for me to get a car…thus no real pressing reason for me to get a license. My mother got her own car…the summer before I started college. Why didn’t I learn over that summer? Because I was in Atlanta in a pre-freshman program…. *sighs* I think she did that on purpose….
Graduation from high school came and went, and I went to college in Atlanta. Not only was it a warm city, it was a city that had pretty good public transportation as well… at least to everywhere that I wanted to go. So…for another 5 years, I put off getting a license…and as I knew that even if I had a license I wouldn’t be able to get my hands on a car (much less a car to take the driving test WITH) there was still no hurry. I had a state ID… I could get everywhere I wanted to go… why bother?
Then… I moved to Indy. A cold place, with public transportation that.. to put it bluntly… SUCKS!!!! But… I didn’t think that I would be able to swing car payments… at least not starting off. But now, another winter is approaching, and my lease to my expensive ass apartment is about to end… so I’m getting a license and a car…. all before September 1st hopefully….

And THAT is the tale of this 24 year old non-driver….

Stay Jazzed….

*GRINS*

WHOOO HOOOO!!! I got my learners Permit. :) Such a feeling of success and stuff. And I take such CUTE ID pictures….

Well..yeah… that’s about it for now. I’m about to use my vaunted analytical skills on the apartment listing I have and figure out who I want to go with….

Stay Jazzedddddd

Living la vida Broka

Ugh. Working days are the best at the worst all at the same time…but it’s grand to have stuff to do. I was so worried for a while today that I would not be able to make it to DC for my vacation because the airline tickets (since it a a couple of days short of 14) were SO expensive. But I took a risk and went for the Bargain fare thing, where it is a blind fare. You know what DAY you are leaving and returning, and what airport you are flying in and out of, but you don’t know who you are flying on, and you don’t know what time. I thought I was going to get suck with some red eye flight on ConAir…but instead I got a nice afternoon flight on USAir…nonstop no less. Talk about being THRILLED!! I had to re- read the itinerary couple of times to be sure that I was seeing it right. And I got the ticket for UNDER 200 bucks… ten days before I want to leave… ya can’t beat THAT with a stick. *wiggles with joy* Anyhow… I am calling people tonight to set up hang out times and places… but I have the most important thing, which is a place to stay, and if worst comes to worst and they all stand me up, I will just chill in DC and go to all the free stuff like the zoo and the Smithsonian and all that jazz… which I haven’t been to in AGES. So no matter HOW it goes, I am going to have a bomb ass vacation.

I don’t know WHAT the hell is up with Cheffy. I paged him Sunday, and he called me back yesterday and left a reallllly odd message. Yeah I was home, but I wasn’t in a talking/answer the phone kind of mood. And as he is the only one who would call me from a pay phone… I knew it was him. AS for the message…it just didn’t sound right. Now, I don’t want to read to much into this, but if he has jumped attitude cuz I told him he needed to start hauling his own damn load… hm. Issues anyone? *rolls eyes* If that IS the case….I think I will cuss him out, then kick his ass to the curb. Why? Because.. if he is gonna jump an attitude when I speak out… and tell him what is on my mind that is not all sun shiny and ‘Oh you are just the greatest dude around’-ish… clearly that does not bode well for any long term interactions, right? *groans* Childish. Anyhow… I would be kinda upset cuz I was kinda hoping he would take care of Gio while I was gone. *grins* If he doesn’t, I will have to take him to a kennel. I don’t wanna leave my baby all alone for a week… that is just TOOOO long. The vet has a nice kennel, and I wouldn’t have to worry about him getting any yicky stuff. And since I am taking him in for his second check-up the day before I go to the vet, hopefully it won’t be too bad. *sighs*

Ummm..what else? I’m considering taking an art class over the summer/fall. After going to the art festival, which was held at the Indy Arts Center, jus the thought of being able to mess with clay or blow glass or do woodcuts was just soo… exciting. I mean it seems like just the thing for me… right up my alley in other words. I’m starting to think about whether or not I want to get a second job once I get my car. *laughs* Actually… I’m trying to think of ways to avoid getting a second job after I get my car. It’s going to be interesting for me to balance what I would really like to do with what I really NEED to do. I would prefer, for my own piece of mind, to have a bit of a second income once I start paying a car note…but on the same foot, I would hate to be…limited in what I can do once I get that car because I have another job. Perhaps it could be just a short term thing, until I finish paying off my credit card bills. *sighs*

I am going to pick up this book from the library today called “The Broke Diaries” about how broke this chicky was in college. I need to refresh my memory on how FUN and DO-able that was so that I know in my mind and heart that I can pull this off now. Though I have to admit that the way I did it then was to not pay most of my bills except for the ones that insured I had a roof over my head and lights…but maybe I need to get back to that. *sighs* Though I WOULD miss my cable…hmm.. that would really be the only thing I would be able to ditch. That and my apartment of course. *sighs*

Well… work is taking me over again… I’m off…

*LOL* I signed off with my real name for a second there…. I have been writing WAY too many emails.; )

Stay Jazzed