but....

 in spite of all the worries and fears I have - I have a wonderful life. I've got a wonderful job, a peaceful & lovely apartment, two gorgeous cats, enough money to be far from poverty, and a amzing man who loves me. I've got my health, friends, a deep desire to expand and grow, a fierce curiosity and enough faith in myself to somehow manage it all.
Sometimes I have to stand back and look at only what is solid and true in order to ground myself in the wonder & awe & beauty & love that is the wolrd I live in EVERYDAY. There is soo much beauty and love and joy that surrounds me (and all of us) that sometimes I have to force myself to look away from the tarry pit of self-pity, and exault in the simple peace & joy of rain.