Brain bursts

sometimes what needs to be said
gets too caught up in the words
to ever be heard

sometimes what needs to be heard
gets too caught up in
what is expected to be said

sometimes the words that
are supposed to express everything
really say nothing at all

and sometimes they say everything.

I have been reading the OD for the past week or so…and each time I read I think.. ‘Damn… I need to write something’ I have a looonngg entry written in my paper journal that I may put in here…all about race & gender and what that REALLLY means to me…. and then I have two more that are in my head but don’t really seem ready to be born. I think that they may be another case of me touching on some issues in me that I am not sure I even really want to think about much less touch. I don’t like rambling… and when I start to dig inside of me to explore I realize that that tends to be all that I do…. ramble on and on in circles about something that I have no firm grasp on. So instead I have to chew on them in my brain for a while before I dare let them out to pollute some paper. Random Future Entries: What does being gay mean to me? Why don’t I have many friends? The Beauty Myth: How do I reflect it? Why do I hate women sometimes? How bad of a bug is Jealousy…and does it have a cause? I think that is about it. At least for right now.

*sighs * I really dislike moodswings… I wish it would just come on and be done with. grr.

Stay Jazzed.