holding my hands between your thighs
your heat
makes me drift
into a funk of
passionate entanglings
and brazen bliss
wild river woman
changing like the tides
taking my heart
my mind
my soul
on an impossible lovers ride
like cool spring rain
falling over me
you take me
and turn me
and burn me
until I am simply
a tower of flame
you are my hearts guiding light
sweet summer water woman
with the aura of
love
passion
and pain
can I be yours
tomorrow….
and today?
So...what is a woman to do when she thinks she is falling in love with another woman? who happens to be married? *smiles* I don't know what I can do.. this whole episode.. this whole relationship thing has me off kilter. and since it is so out of the norm (the trio version of a relationship) who can I talk to? My straight friends wouldn't understand me falling for a woman... the gay ones would have issues with the fact that she is married... to a man no less... so I sit here and write bad poetry and wonder if I will ever get up the nerve to say I love you... even in a joking way...cuz I have been scared from the start... afraid of where loving a woman might take me...and I don't think I want to know where really loving a woman will lead.
The only problem is.. somedays that seems to be all I can think about... my T**** as I call her...I get jealous of her husband...cuz he wakes up to her everyday. Yeah... ain't nothing all sweet...and I have enough issues to keep me out of a relationship for years to come... but still.... falling for her is the sweetest thing I have done in so long... and my life is almost stable sometimes and...and I just don't know what to do with my self.. or her.
So I sit here...and talk to her.. and wish for someone else to come and sweep me out of her life and out of this thing that will have to end in misery... cuz there is no sunny way out. And I have no interest in forming nay new relationships with a man...*shrugs* I have been spoiled my a passion that is so much like my own that I can no longer see fighting to form the bonds and limits of love with someone whose idea of passion is a kiss in the morning and a good f****** every night.
And I am fighting to find a man who doesn’t relate to me on a level of passion before he peeps into my heart...yeah I am fighting to find a woman like that too...but we are so different. *sighs* With some men... most men who are attracted to a woman... the thought of sex is a barely concealed ideal..hidden only by societies and the 'good' girls demand that sex isn't what she is all about.
Am I babbling??? am I racing on and on?? yeah maybe but I have to get all of this off of my heart & out of my head before I turn to do some real work...sometimes the only time I ain't wondering what I am going to do with myself and my wayward heart is when I am programming... and that is only cuz I have to devote my entire mind to what I am writing...computers are anal about precision...
whoooo that was a trip... i guess when the urge is on all you can do is write...and write and write. Hold me tight and neva let me go...cuz I don't know where I would be without you....
Stay Jazzed.
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