Whining

I was working on my character description, and she lives in a studio apartment. As I was writing out a description of her place, I realized something - I prefer living in small spaces. My apartment in Atlanta (my favorite and most homey apartment thus far) was about half the size of the apartment I have now - and it was almost always amazingly clean. The first apartment I got here - I felt the need to get a big place, solely to say - hey! Look at ALL THIS ROOM I can buy! Of course - it stayed half empty for half the time I lived there, until I finally broke down and purchased furniture for it. Then, I moved to another space - smaller than the one before, but bigger than the one before that. I loved that place - despite the lack of air-conditioning and the slightly shady neighborhood it was in. I left there for the sake of my car and my cats - and now I live here. I go home, and wonder what good all of the stuff I have is doing me. I have an entire room that I've wasted - given over to books and cats and an ironing board. I've got two bathrooms - one of whcih we only use when we are too lazy to walk the few steps to the other one. I'm looking for a maid to hire because I don't feel like cleaning and I don't feel like waiting for C. to decide he wants to clean - and now I want to move. Again. I hate having wall to wall carpet - it makes the place feel like it can never be totally clean. I love having a balcony - I can forget how big the rest of the hosue is and go out there to chill - at least until the weather gets crappy. I hate having two windows - I need to let more air and sun and light into my house. I love having central air and central heat. I hate having a vaulted ceiling. I want to live someplace small and cuddly that opens it arms and welcomes me home - not a place where I feel like I'm wintering over until the next home finds me. I liked my HOTEL rooms better than I like my apartment - lately.
But of course, finding an apartment this cheap, and this close to everything, with hardwood floors and a blacony in Indiana is downright impossible. There is this one apartment complx that I've wanted to live in for AGES - but damn this place is expensive. *sigh* And of course - that brings us back full circle to what I started talking about - money. I would like to live someplace smaller to save money - but with the options that I would like to have, it would end up costing more money. Unless I could find a quaint little house somewhere that the owner is renting...but ah. That'll fall into my lap when it is truly time for us to move.
Besides - I think that the next time that we move, we will be moving out of Indy. C has no ties here now - the job isn't all that he hoped it would be, and he plans on staying there until we are ready to move - move from Indy that is. I had every intention of staying until this release went live, and now they have added an extra 6 months to it. While that fits in with my 'debt free in 2005' almost perfecctly - I'd still have to be here for another 8 months to totally pull it off - unless I can think of someway to reduce my outlay or increase my inflow. All the same - I can't WAIT to leave. Perhaps I should start looking for another job now? I might find something better, that pays more money, in a nicer part of the country, and I could cut down on my time to freedom.
Hm. So many choices - I have to first realize that I am IN a box to be able to realize there are possibilities I'm not even seeing OUTSIDE the box.