Happy Birthday Jazzy!!

How ironic.... 200 entries and my one year OpenDiary anniversary on the same day....hmmm you might almost think I had planned it that way. *wink wink*
Anyway.. I am celebrating right now.. I just emailed my last final to my professor...and I am FREE until January 12th to do what I please. No more pens no more books no more teachers dirty looks. Now... if I only passed all of my classes everything will be well. Anyhow...

The whole reason I was supposed to be writing has kinda gotten blurred, but that is okay because I was in no state to write about the woman that I was and the women I have become. It is really sad.. but I think that the main changes I have seen in myself are in my heart and my libido. Last year at this time, the last thing that I thought I would be doing next year would be discussing with my girlfriend whether or not we should move in together....*laughs* I mean realllllllyyyy..... so much has changed. I can’t even presume to think about what might be going on NEXT year at his time...especially considering that I would have graduated from college by ten, have a real job leading a to successful career hopefully...and... dear goddess I might not even be in the city anymore.

This time last year I was looking for love, religion, and stability in a life that suddenly seemed totally topsy turvy and screwed over.. now... hmmm I am at a calm point...how long it will last I don’t know... but... at least I can make myself believe that I can foresee the future and see my path moving smoothly towards a certain goal. And even better...and even more amazing for me... I can myself with someone....moving towards that goal. *laughs* I can see myself in a long term relationship...and it feels as natural and as regular as me saying that I am going to be with me for the rest of my life. Mannn.. I wonder if it is her womanhood that makes this so easy.. or is it her tashi-ness that makes this so easy... somehow.. I think that it is both.

Sighs...anyhow.... I just wanted to say a little something for this day.. and for this entry... and remind us all...


Stay Jazzed