Okay, this is just getting ridiculous.

I'm on the VERGE of tears at work because Twin1 on my team is doing her usual thing of taking over anything she touches and excluding everyone but Twin2, and I was dreadfully embarassed when someone came to me for an update, and I had that 'caught in the headlights' look.

Do I think she's doing it on purpose? I don't know - she's always been like this (and always the loudest one complaining about how BUSY she is) so no, I don't think she's trying to sabatoge me. She's doing a bloody good accidental job of it, though.

This week has simply sucked, basically. C is being - funny. I don't know what the heck is up with him, and he's made some new online buddy, and.......

Gods, I'm so tired of - just everything. It feels so fucking POINTLESS, and I don't know why. I'm truly just going through the motions because I don't know what else TO do. The delirious fantasy of quitting has danced though my head on a daily basis this week - which, among choices I've made (or considered making) that would be pretty high on the dumbasfuck scale...

It's gotten so bad, that this morning driving to work, I understood why so many people - esp. the opressed & downtrodden, fall so hard for the concept of a perfect Heaven. It gives an ending to the bullshit - and the promise that after you finish plodding through it all, you'll be rewarded. Just KNOWING that there is an end in sight makes suffering through anything easier.

Hrm. Even the potential of there being an end makes me feel better. I feel - very trapped, lately.

And fuck me sideways, this moodswings are INSANE. I don't even feel like writing anymore, because I feel better.

*tear*

Can I has my brain back, plz? kthx.