Shut down, Will Robinson, Shut Down!

I've decided that I'm only marginally going to think about TTC'ing until after the appt. At this point, there's nothing we can do, and the information that we will recieve will be very, very useful - so, it's pointless for me to fret.

Yes, I AM going to my zen space, how'd ya know?

I even went as far to change my nick on one of my favorite boards - it started mentally taunting me - 'to be, or not to be, that is the question!' Horrid.

Moving on.....

C asked me last night why don't we open a restaurant. Once I got past my inital 'We are entering a recession!! Are you INSANE?!?!?!!?' reaction, I started thinking about it a little - calmer. And, ya know, I don't know. We still can't really 'afford' it, but fer fucks sake, that's what investors are for. There's a cool location for sale - right on a main strip, near our house, in a relatively safe hood. Dunno how much they want for it - but, it's a thought. We've got the grand chef, and we have the trusted money person - the problem is we are both ignorant as newborn babes when it comes to all the nits & grits of opening a restaurant. He's got some experience, but strictly from a chefs side. It's funny, at the end of the brief convo I said 'Well, worst comes to worst, we'll just go bankrupt!' *faint* But, yeah. Maybe. I dunno. And I suspect he'll HATE my ideas for a concept..... *evil grin*

So, I don't know. He was rejected for two of the positions he was really hoping for (both of the corporate ones), and the one that's left is the one that he REALLY wants - but he's getting antsy because they are kinda dragging their feet. It's been what - two months, now? I vaciliate being antsy and resignation over the whole thing.

I need to call my mother, but I'm not in the right mind set to talk to her right now - it's funny, I tend to avoid her in times of instability - I still feel like she's judging me (and whether she is or isn't isn't the issue at all), and I still have to prove that I'm a big girl now. I know I DON'T, but the gut feeling/reaction is still there.

Speaking of which, I need to work on my homework for next weeks Realm class - the 5 piviotal people. Mother, Amin, C, M, and..... I don't know. Someone else. It's sad, really, how few people I have in my life that actually MATTERED. Hrm.

Okay. *sigh* I've got a meeting to go to with one of my banes (who I'm sure is just going to go on and on), and I need to be pleasant and perky and shit. *slaps on fake grin* Vodka would make this place EVER so much more pleasant.