Interesting Question...

This question was asked on the Knot - and I thought it was a very good, thought-provoking one. It's not something that us newly marrieds/marrieds-to-be really want to think about - but it MIGHT help prevent it.

Question:
Sad but true - statistically, 50% of us are headed for divorce. So why you think that you and fiance/e will not be included in that 50%. And I mean beyond "I just love my fi so much and he loves me too." Of course you love each other...I HOPE that you wouldn't get married if you weren't in love right now. But the statistics suggest that at least for some of us, that love will fade. So how 'bout it? Share why you think that you and fi will make it when so many others have not.




Answer
Okay - One of my reasons is because we love each other. Our love has made us committed to each other, dedicated to working through WHATEVER problems we may have.  Love is a major part of what makes us WANT to get married – and I hope that love is ALWAYS  a major part of why we stay together,
We are working on our communication - sometimes it's hard, sometimes we miss each other’s meaning - but we STILL come back to each other and work through what ever the issue is, because it's worth it - we're worth it to each other.
Neither of us grew up in a healthy 2-parent family. He was raised by his mother/grandmother & grandfather, I was raised by my mother and my demented (and thankfully EX) step-father. We have taken from those not so nice relationships what we DON'T want us or ours to turn into, and we consciously work towards that.
We are both aware that marriage is NOT easy - it takes work. And sometimes we will be pissed, and sometimes we will be hurt, and sometimes we might not like each other very much. But still - what we have is worth us working through.
Over the time we have been with each other (and it’s only been a short 2 years) our love for each other has grown. We complement each other. We are partners with each other. We trust each other to the fullest of  our ability.  We laugh together, we can have serious conversations together, we have GREAT sex.  We are friends, lovers, partners. We talk about anything and everything (dealing with us and outside of us) and sometimes we don’t agree – but it’s always an interesting path.  We’ve lived together – and so we know the hot buttons and the not so hot buttons. We can say we are wrong when were wrong, say ‘I’m sorry’ when we’ve hurt the other, and tell the truth – even if it does hurt a wee bit.  We can compromise, and recognize that we ARE two different people...and thus we might have different ideas and goals – but we can boil them down to what’s most important and come to an agreement which might not thrill either of us, we can agree on.

And yes, I do believe in divorce. For my mother and me it was the best possible thing.

jasmyn