6:48

I swear, a few minutes ago, I sat here and FELT my cervix move. I couldn't tell what it was doing - it felt like I was pushing out a clot of some sort - that slow, rich feeling? but it didn't feel - heavy and wet like a clot would.

Still being paranoid, I went into the bathroom, and wiped, and checked my CP.

My cervix is so high - it felt like a fucking cavern in there - I couldn't even reach it - using a single finger!

And the CM? Thick, creamy, only a little bit, and a whitish color - maybe with the FAINTEST hint of yellow.

Oh wow, I so think I'm pregnant. *crossesfingers*

I've been putting it off - but I realized I won't be able to test til Monday, as I won't be here Sunday morning.

And, it would be bittersweet and nice to go to E's birthday party and have it be the last party of me as a single being - and KNOW it.

*deepbreath*

And ya know, either way - if I am, or if I'm not - I'm going to WANT to party - in one case to grieve and forget, in the other case to celebrate and welcome.

*wiggle*

*sigh*

I really think that I will love being pregnant.

6:53