Of Paths and Meetings

Meeting of the minds, that is what the Internet should be. That is what chat, and email and all of the other forms of electronic communication SHOULD be about. It is a new way, a new paradigm of interacting with others, a way that may possibly pulll us (as a race – the human one) out of our blind insistence on classifying others by sex...or age.. or race/skin color. But.. this willl only happen when people stop classifying themselves that way. I...personally…am soooo freaking tired of someone IM’ing/ICQ’ing me and their first question is “what do you look like/do you have a picture?’ Really….what difference does it make? We will most likely never meet, and if we ever do meet.. we will be past the concerns of what you LOOK like…because our minds would have met and found each other pleasing.

And somehow.. very few people understand that…they assume that I am either 1) butt ugly 2) not a female or 3) trying to hide something. *sighs* and that really grates on me too. Because I choose not to display myself for any random freak on the netwaves…I have something to hide. Actually.. yes I do have something to hide. My self... my mind.

Anyhow… I guess this is a minor rant…what set me off was oddly enough the OD. Okay… I am sure that this is just me… but when I write in here, I write for ME. I know that people read it...and yeah.. I have to admit I check my notes daily…but I never write to pull people in...for admiration. I don’t know… this is my truth.. my private thoughts my utter honesty. And if others happen to stumble upon it and feel…something…then welll *shrugs* it happens. But it seems to be a travesty of… *thinks* a odd thing to write in your diary for other people. Especially if you mix the two…sometimes true…sometimes…attention grabbing. It’s odd. The diaries I enjoy the most are the ones in which there is truth… where people are dealing with themselves & the people they love (or hate) in a way that helps themselves. The diaries that I think are the BEST are not the ones that scream for attention...but the ones that quietly delve into themselves. *sighs* I don’t know.. I re-read my entries sometimes and realize ‘God.. I have SUCH A boring life’...but every bit of this life is mine own. Unadulterated… unfiltered…and in most ways unaffected by the fact that there are potentially millliiiooonnnnsss of people looking. Perhaps they will meet my mind…and find something to bring them joy.

Anyhow….today is my last day at work…and for some reason I decided to wear all white. I hate wearing all white because you have to be so vey very very aware of everything around you, which my be why those who are *thinks* being initiated onto the path of the Orisha have to wear all white. But I chose to wear it...because white in my mind has no connotations. If I had worn blue.. I would have had a more cheerful mindset… simply because I love blue. If I had worn all black.. I would have given off the idea that I am depressed.. but I wore all white… signifying a cleaning of all old things.. a new beginning. *deep breath* I’m still scared silly about school starting.. and having to interact with people…and.. having to live up to a standard that I could really care less about. But...this is my path that I have chosen to take…and so I have to suck it up and move on.

Paths…hmm. I was talking to the ONE new person I have met on ICQ that is worth any of my time yesterday...and he asked me what I would do if money was no object. *laughs* and I realized that I would spend very very little time in the United States. I would do a serious world tour…focusing on water & sun places…a few cold places simply to see the sky…and taking photographs the whole way. And in talking to him I remembered my life goal from when I was around.. *thins* oh… 14? 15? I wanted to be a photographer for National Geographic. *sighs* I just recently let my subscription lapse…simply because I *shrugs* can’t afford it. *argh* but I’m not going to talk about money right now. I’m wearing white and I can’t afford to gag all over myself.

Stay Jazzed.