WOD1 - Bourgeois

I never really minded being called bougie. In fact, I think of it as a compliment. In my mind, being bougie means being cultured. Being classy. Being graceful. Having aspirations of doing big things with your life that don't involve selling yourself, whether implicitly or explicitly.
Of course, bougie also has the connotations of being stuck up, of thinking that you are better than others, of being 'too good'.

And what if that is the case? What if I am better than you when it comes to XYZ - as long as there is still enough humility in my heart to know that I am not perfect, then the fact that I am, indeed, better than you in various areas is just a statement of fact.
Who are these people who don't want to be better? Who are these people that believe there is a ceiling to 'good', and trying to break through that ceiling means that you are abandoning your 'people' and trying to escape where you came from. Sometimes, you come from shit, and there is no shame in trying to escape. The shame is in wallowing in it joyfully, and believing that it's the best available.

bougie
highclass highyellow think you are so
high and mighty
bougie, bitch.
sat down somewhere
and be low
be slow
be happy with what you got
unless you want to be
like them.
bougie.

Since I was a young girl, I've always wanted to be classy. The sort of smooth graceful class that never seems to trip, never makes a misstep, is comfortable in any environment with any class of people. I wanted to be gracious, graceful, elegant.

In some ways, I'm sure it was overcompensation for the ignorant, clumsy, overweight, poor, occasionally obtuse child that I was - we always want what we aren't. It was inspired by the books I read that showed people living seemingly fault-free lives outside of the drama required to keep the book moving. The heroine, even if she started out as a clumsy oaf, would end the book polished, poised, and graceful.

A lot of grace was taught to me at a young age. How to walk, smoothly and gracefully via a dictionary on the head. How to speak, clearly and crisply, so that my words weren't mushed or mumbled. How to move - smoothly and swiftly and gracefully through crowds. Most of this was taught to me in an effort to make me a better wife/domestic/serving girl, but that's neither here nor there.

As I got older, though, and started interacting with largely AA young adults, I was tarred with the 'bougie' brush. I was accused of acting white. I resented the implications that without flaunting your value, you were perceived to have no value. Classiness doesn't flaunt, it just is. It doesn't have to flaunt, to pose, to posture to prove it's worth.