Unmasking the Night

I have alot on my heart and mind right now, and I am not sure exactly how I want to deal with it..if at all. T convinced me (not a hard thing to do) to come and sty the night over her house on Saturday. I agreed, and had a pretty good time. Didn't get there until late, but still a good time was had by all.
I woke up Sunday to the sounds of an arguement. Her and T were having it out...*sighs* and at that moment I wished thst I had a car so that I could just get up, get dressed and leave. I did not like being the neutral party to both sides in my parent's rocky marraige/divorce..and I am not liking it now. Of course, my sympathies lie with Tfemale *shrugs* where else could they go, but I am scared of what might happen between us if they DO break up. I know I am not ready to be anybody's one & only. and I don't think that I would be anywhere near ready or willing to do that for her.. Love not with standing. Later hse came in and told me that the arguement was not about me, but I mean really... *sighs* I don't want to be anywhere near coming between a couple. I never wanted it to be...and even if it is the fact of her being bisexual, and not the fact of her being with me... STILL...I currently represent her bisexuality. *sighs* I don't know. I wish I was blinder to the facts... I wish I wasn't so damn observant, I wish I could pretend that all is well. But it isn't...so I am flowing and going along the best I can. She told me (in a sideways kinda way) that she has a diary on here, and I have decided not to even consider looking for it. We all deserve some little amount of privacy.. to hash out the issues that come up in our lives.

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Anyway....other than the minor amount of chaos in my lovelife...everything else seems to be going well. School is still kicking my rump, but I kick back every chance I can...and I think that I will end up on top. A little more than a month to finals... and I have a strong B average going on...this might be a good year.
I am on this diet, called the Atkins Diet, (low carb) and have been on it for roughly a week and a few days, and I have already lost 9 pounds. :) It is hard to stick to, but since both me & T are on the diet, that support makes it easier. I am eating more meat than I ever wanted to, and will have to find SOMETHING to keep me ummmm regular.... but I am thrilled by the fact that for the frist time a diet is WORKING for me, and thatI may actually be able to reach my goals without pulling my hair out.
Hmmm.. unmasking the night....last night WAS Halloween ( how odd that it fell on a Sunday) and I wrote a little something in the day's (and night's) honor.

I hide behind the mask
that holds my heart in check
I hide behind the spectacle
that lets my mind protect
I hide behind the words
that fall away with fear
I unmask the night
and run away from here

The night holds all the terrors
of a life too sharply led
the night holds the fears
that follow me to bed
the night takes me to task
for all I think I lack
the night hovers
in silence
breathing down my back
I unmask the night
And face all my fears
I unmask the night
and make my stand here.