Home, home again.....

Made it home, safely, no dents, no despair.

I wished I wasn't driving so much - I would have liked to journal a bit, and to take more pictures, and etc. But, me driving was ever so much LESS stressful than having DH drive (have I mentioned he's totalled 3 cars in seven years, two of them mine? Yeah. I'm enourmously paranoid about him driving my car) so I sucked it up, and enjoyed the ride.

The time with the family wasn't too bad - they seem to be mellowing out some. I spent most of the day nose deep in a book, though, so that made it better, as it always has, since I was a wee one.

Back at work, and oh dear, what a dreary day this has been. It's a suckerpunch to the stomach to be reminded how much I don't CARE - esp. after spending so much time - active and engaged in LIFE - to be back here, and feeling like it's just all shit on a wall, again. *sigh* It's - work, though, and I've signed up for it, so I'll shove on through it.

BFP's seem to be abounding around me - I'm so happy for them, but I'm having a much harder time with those who are further along, oddly enough. I still sigh over the belly pictures, but there's a bit of a gutcheck now - it's not quite jealousy, more like regret/longing. It's sadmaking, is what it is.
However! My period was a mere 5 days this go around, and I'm feeling - normal? Upbeat? Horny, dare I say? And I'm wondering if this 'formula' I'm on is getting things settled. I'm almost scared to start working out, and throwing another potential wrench into things, but I still am.

Hrm, yes. I'm going - tonight, I suppose, though I might drag my feet (rephrase, I will drag my feet) til the weekend - I need to get some stuff for the gym.
1) Heater
2) Timer
3) Plug Converter/power strip
4) Cleaning Supplies
5) Gym Shoes
And I think that's about it - so that I can start working out, regularily. My thought is to wake up and actually get out of bed when I temp (6:15am), meditate for about 15-20 minutes, then go and work out for an hour - that's why I want the timer, so I can have the heater come on before I go to workout, and it'll be nice and warm. That'll take me to 7:15, which is about when I normally start getting ready for my day. I'll skip Sat/Sun, and those will be my 'treat' days of being able to sleep in.

I realized that I have a very warped self image. It's one of the things that makes keeping myself motivated to keep exercising so hard - I really, rarely see just HOW fat I am. I'm yuge. 260 pounds on a 5'4 frame is obviously huge, but I don't feel it, and I rarely see it - even when I'm standing in front of the mirror. *sigh* But then, there are times when I see it so CLEARLY - the lumps and bumps and bulges and folds and I wonder, briefly, how DH can possibly be attracted to alla THIS. Then, I look at him, and realize how much love smoothes over the minor (and major) imperfections - turning them into something not ugly, but simply He. So, I'm assuming that's the same thing he sees, but I'd certainly be more - certain - if I wasn't QUITE so fucking fat.

And I spent close to a grand on that Treadmill - I'd be damned if I don't use it.

Base Camp, Night One

I figured I'd record our travels to the inlaws over Thanksgiving, since we are actually 'roadtripping'. We decided to take the Great River Road north to Central Il, stopping at the local winieries along the way, and then cut due east across Il and In to the in-laws.

Today, we left the house a little late - didn't actually get on the road til around 10am, and by the time we fueled the cars and ourselves, it was closer to 10:30.

So - we drove, taking 51 most of the way north, cutting through Henning and Dyersburg and Ripley and a bunch of other little towns on our way to Hickman, Ky. We saw a sign for the Miss. River, early on, but once we realized that it was a 30 mile round trip out of our way, AND didn't have a ferry, we stayed on 51 instead.

In Hickman, we took a ferry across the river to Dorena, Mo. From Dorena, we took a closer look at the map, and realized that taking 61 north would keep us on the River Road, vs taking Yahoo's directions and staying on the major roads. So, after taking 102 to 105 t0 60W, we finally ended up on 61 - the first time we saw the vaunted River Road signs, too.

We made it to Cape Gieraduee (horrid spelling for a lovely little French Settler town), and upon realizing that 1) it was the biggest town for a while and 2) we wouldn't make it to Ste Gieneveve in time to visit the winieries, we decided to stay here overnight.

We tried the waterfront, but it reminded us of small, dull towns - the street was rolled up at 4pm, and half the shops looked permanently closed. Luckily, we found the visitors center, and scooped up some information about lodging.

We scored a hotel room, made a Target run for a few supplies, and then went back to the room for a little relaxation before dinner.

The hotel we were in offered a 20% off coupon for a nearby restaraunt, and the menu doesn't look half bad, so that's where we'll be going for dinner.

So far, I've enjoyed myself amazingly. I've never taken back roads on PURPOSE before, and it's an entirely different slice of America we're cutting through. The trees are lovely in their fall colors, and the corn stalks that are left are the most breathtaking shade of sunsilk gold ever.

The occasional 20MPH zones do drive me crazy, but I still prefer them over the times when we intersect with an interstate and the speed limit is suddenly 70MPH - I'm ENJOYING going slowly.

Today was totally not supposed to turn out this way - but I'm enjoying it. There really is no rush, and we have MORE than enough time to do all the things we want to, and even if we run out of time, guess what? We can always come back and do it again - I wanted to see the Indian Mounds, anyhow - and I knew we couldn't do it this trip.

I doubt that we'll spend any night sleeping in the car, even though we came prepared for that - I think it's a bit cold, personally.

I'll add pictures to it later tonight - we left the camera in the car.

Oh, and I think my period started today. Mrumph.