What looks Like Crazy...

Dancing until you're dizzy under a bright blue sky.

Never forgetting that each day is a gift.

Being able to forgive and move on.

Learning to let go.

Learning to hold on.

Flying without wings.


Spring is a strange time of year for me. It makes me feel light...weightless...like I'm drifting over the ground and nothing can hold me back. Spring is the time of hopes and dreams and magic in the air. (Some people call it pollen... I call it MAGIC). I woke up this morning and felt disassociated. I felt like I had left some pieces of me still dreaming, and that they weren't coming back. But time passed, and I woke up.. all of me.

I don't know what I'm trying to say. I want to share something with someone...but don't know who. I think I'm falling in love, and I'm terrifeid of it. I don't WANT to fall in love with him. I want to be friends...very CLOSE friends yes.. but just friends all the same. But sometimes... when I think of him.. I want nothing more than to curl up in his arms and stay there until the world wakes up and makes sense again. And I feel this without having ever met him. The dangers of long term interent friendships rears it's head.

Yes..I know I'm babbling.. but sometimes in the process of that babbling truths come out that other wise would have never been dreamed of... or at least spoken of.

Ah! Floozies. such an old fashioned word isn't it? Floozies. It brings up images of women who move like quick silver, over-rouged, over-perfumed, un-caring about themselves. There was a checklist of what creates floozie-dom in one of the books I recently read.

1) Sleeping with anyone other than your boy friend or fiance
2) Sleeping with someone because you want to
3) sleeping wih more than ten people
4) Sleeping with more than one person in a 24 hour periond
5) performing oral sex
6) Sleeping with someone on the frist date

There were like 3 or four others, but I can't remeber them. The 'unspoken' rule was if you did more than four of these things, you were a floozie.
I am a floozie. Yup. once twice....maybe even three times a floozie. But I have no problem with it. Perhaps because I consider it simply to be an extentision of who I am. Ever meet people who seem to project their sexuality as if that is ALL there is to them? And they leave you witha slightly slimy feeling...that (in my ever so humble and personal opinion) is a floozie. Not because she LIKES sex.. but because she has turned into a walking sex. Not a sex object. not a sex toy. but just a sex.

I am a sexual being. yes. but I am also a creative being. I like to write.. I like to read I like to take pictures I like to have sex I like to cook I like to talk I like to flirt I like to dance I like to daydream I like to walk. Sex is just one of my many aspects. Which is why I have never had a problem with floozie-dom.
*grins* the floozieness is overwhelmed by the other aspects of my being. Not to say that some of those aspects don't retreat in the face ofa libido storm, because they do. But my world consists of more than just sex.

*side note( I tend to rant & rave alot..simply because once I get started I can't stop or all of the creative flow that I have inside of me will get backed up and I will BLOW up end side note*

I am a water woman
I walk with the flow of tides
claiming the ground I cover
I am a earth woman
I hold with the force of steel
and the gentle clasp of soil
I am a wind woman
I speak my mind clearly
carrying my own thoughts and picking up new ones
I am a fire woman
I glow with energy and
sparkle with the force of my heart
I am a spirit woman
I want to touch the world
without losing myself.


Stay Jazzed.