Stuff

I didn't go work out last night (but it was my off night!) I"m not going tonight either - but that's because I'm going out to a club to shake my booty - and I figure that trumps a mere half an hour of sweaty sacrifice. Besides the fact - I'm looking FORWARD to going home and laying out in my living room and taking a little hot sweaty nap before I go out - especially since I've been yawning since I woke up this morning. I'm going tonight (instead of the much more sensible tommorow night) because it's ladies night, and in my current state of fiscal instability - that sounds like a damn good thing.

I've been calling places canceling - thankfully I hadn't booked EVERYTHING, as I've only gotten back 1/2 of one deposit thus far. *sigh* The postponement announcements went out today - I think they are light-hearted enough that I won't be deluged with a flood of 'Are you okay??' messages - though I would totally understand people sending them. I actually feel slightly GUILTY about being relived that we postponed. Hm. It's one less thing to stress about - even though that dress in my closet is going to be singing a sweet song. I feel like I should feel bad about it - nervous and guilty and shamed and apprehensive about what it all means - but I'm not.  I'm actually a little giddy about it - but it's not because I don't want to marry him - heaven KNOWS I do. It's not because I wasn't looking forward to the wedding - cuz heaven knows I WAS. It's just - it's just not a bad thing somehow. Maybe I'll dream about why it's okay - maybe next week something will happen that will highlight just why I feel so - secure - in having made this decision. Eh. I don't know - but I'm happy and that's the critical bit, yes?