Dustbunnies

I've got another two monthes before I renew - and I'm debating on whether I want to. I've got no issues with downtimes - I figure they are part and parcel of the internet experience. It's something different - I don't feel as connected here anymore and I'm not sure why. I think that I might be withdrawing from my internet worlds and trying to live more fully in the real world and I'm really not quite sure how that's going to work.

I'm still losing weight - but I'm getting smaller faster than I'm losing weight which drives me crazy because the numbers and the results don't match up, but I'm totally not complaining. I also joined Curves! the fitness center dealie for women - and I REALLY like it. I think that I will be able to actually maintain an exercise program at this place.
While I was in Ge. I noticed how the women dressed. They dressed like they LIKED thier bodies and wore clothes to compliment who they were rather than just as something to conceal their bare skin. I've noticed a distinct difference here - people in general just seem to toss anything on - whether it compliments them or not. And what's up with the Mommy Outfit?? You know the one I'm talking about - jeans, a teeshirt, sneakers and shoulder length hair with bangs pulled back into a ponytail. Is there some rule that when you have kids you have to stop being anything resembling stylish? One of the main reasons that I want to lose weight is so that I can wear better clothes. I LOVE clothes - I just hated dressing my body. As I'm losing weight (and coming to a point of comfort with the fat girl I still am) I find that I've gotten A LOT more picky about my clothes and shoes. My outfits have to be - good. It takes me close to 45 minutes EVERY morning to get dressed - and the fact that 75% of my clothes no longer fit really RIGHT as they are a little too big certainly doesn't help. But - I LIKE what I wear everyday, no matter what. There have been somedays where I've nearly been in tears trying to figure out something to wear - and I'm supremely frustrated because I can't AFFORD to buy anything else.
Speaking of money - *sigh* I got paid today and I'm broke today and there isn't a damn thing I can do further to slim down my spending - besides getting a roommate (hurry home luv!!). And then I got a speeding ticket *sigh* for going 85 in a 65 on my way to Chicago, which I truly cannot afford. I finally broke down and called the IRS to arrange for a paymeny plan for my back-taxes, and....ya know, I don't even want to think about it. I can't DO anything about it because I REFUSE to get a second job again - though once I get close to goal weight I might try to find another retail clothing job so that I can rack up another complete wardrobe for less. For now though - I just have to mudle through the best I can.
I'm going to go and fill in my expense report now... *sigh* Maybe I'll score a little extra money from that. :)