Wanted: A Dancing Queens Castle

went out last night - I was really looking forward to it. I had picked out just the right outfit - clubbin appropiate without being slutty (oh, if I had only known then....). I wore a tank top with "I [heart shape] my freedom" on it - which everyone amusingly enough assumed to be in SUPPORT of that foolish war on Iraq, and a smidge over knee length skirt that I had trimmed last weekend but never wore, and a nice study pair of clunky shoes. I was a wee bit nervous about the tank top as it was a WEE bit tighter than I usually wear, and I've got a little jiggly belly that showed through some(oh, if I had only known then....)
I've gotten directions off of Yahoo! and I knew that ladies get in free before 11, so I figured I'd try to make it there by ten - just to be on the safe side. The directions took me down the back roads to some of the CREEPIEST neighborhoods I had ever seen in my life (foreboding anyone??). There were few street signs, fewer street lights, and even fewer fools besides me going down these roads. I'm guessing where Yahoo! led me was it's version of 'shortest time'. They've got 'most direct' and some other category but I really think they need to add another category - 'least creepy'. So - I finally get to the shopping center the club is in (after turning around twice) - and realize that it is BARELY a mile from an exit on the MAIN highway in the city - which I LIVE a block from. We all know how I went home, don't we? But I won't jump ahead.
I had to stop and ask a cop in front of the just closing (and very abandoned looking) LoBill to figure out how to actually get to the club - which ended up being behind the shopping center down a road that was in a MOST disreputable state. I pull into the parking lot at almost ten on the nose, and there were less than 10 cars there. I finally started to get worried. Then, I thought - okay, CP time, no one is really going to GET here until 10:30/10:45. I was brave enough to GO to a club alone, but there was no way in hell I was going to be the first person to walk into an empty club. So - I sat in the car for 45 minutes, smoking cloves and listening to my 'get pumped' CD.
Two guys stopped at my car - one security guy to see why I was lingering there (most likely thought I was stalking one of the non-existant club-goers) and another cheerful young fellow who tried to sell me three CD's. It's interesting - I always thought unsigned, uncommercial hip-hop was called underground, not indie, but after I sweetly told him I wasn't buying anything, he gave me a free CD of indie hiphop. I've yet to listen to it, but I'm sure it will be, if nothing else, interesting.
Around 10:30, suddenly the parking lot started to fill up - cars of women. This is when I REALLLY started to get nervous. I haven't lived in the hood, or associated with hoodlike people since I left Atlanta 3 years ago, and I've done enough maturing at this point that they aren't even FUNNY anymore. Every single woman who walked through that door personfied hood-trick in a different fashion. Whether it was the bootyshorts showing off the tattoo on both thighs (and the generous cellulite) with the droopily braless halter top, or if it was the big gurl who borrowed her ten year old (her SKINNY ten year old) little sisters dress for a shirt, it was worrisome. And I'm not even going to TALK about the hair. I may have been the ONLY woman in that club who grew all of the hair that was on her head. So - I watch this parade of women for about 10 minutes, then decided that I had better go on over before the line got too long. I brought 5 bucks, my ID, my car key, and my smokes with me - which shortened the search process considerably.
What is it wih black women and the whte eyeshadow? I could never get that - I NEVER thought it looked attractive, but that's clearly just me as the group of girls in front of me were sharing a stick before we got in the club, and the girl behind me looked like she had been slapped with a stick of it.
I make it through the search, and enter the club. This place was actually HUGE - I was really suprised by the size. There was a little bar and grill (hot wings and french fries), 4 bars, a nice sized VIP section, a pretty roomy dance floor and a smaller one, and a area in the back with 6 pool tables in it. Plus, there were several nice little seating areas - with TV's. I grabbed a good seat (so that I could watch the parade as it went by) and proceeded to wait. My ONLY reason to go was to dance - not to hookup, not to really talk to anybody, not to get drunk. Hell - I had to go to WORK the next morning. I waited...and waited...and waited some more - about a good 30 to 45 minutes had gone by before the DJ got set up really good and started playing music. In that time, this guy and girl at the bar next to the seating area got into a fight - much cursing, much accusations of being a 'broke ugly ass bitch' and 'weak ass nasty nigga' which ended with homeboy being gently escorted from the club. I watched the girl celebrate with her friends how she had just played him, and made a consious decision to stay as FAR away from her & her girls the rest of the night.
The DJ played NOTHING but hiphop, and the occasional slow jam (or assgrinders as he so colorfully called them). Now, don't get me wrong - I dig hiphop. It's not the easiest thing to dance to - but you can get down. I danced pretty steadily for about an hour, but after slapping four DIFFERENT pairs of hands away from going UP my skirt (annd I was actually dancing rather conservatively - comparing), and witnessing a girl literally hump a guy on the floor (and I was just praying that the bits I couldn't see had clothes on them), I decided that I needed to be MUCH drunker than the almost stone-sober I was to enjoy this. I held out dancing on and off until 1:45, then decided that it really wasn't going to get any better, and besides, I had to go to work in the morning. The club closed at 3am, and I didn't think I wanted to see the effects of any more alcohol in the bloodstreams of the folx around me. I had the distinct feeling that people had been shot as they were leaving this club, and I wanted to be gone WELL before that.
As I was leaving, there were still people coming INTO the club - white eyeliner and gold fronts everywhere. I laughed as I left - I swear, sometimes there are REALLY perfectly good reasons for not going out. As I left, the security guard told me to be sure to come back Saturday - as the club "gets a lot more live". I don't think I could HANDLE any more live than that.
So - now I'm on the hunt. I've GOT to find someplace that I can go and dance and have a good time without having to deal with nasty ass dudes and trampy acting girls and nasty attitudes in general. I hope it wasn't simply the almost all-black clientle that made it so...unpleasant (my people, my people) but I figure I'll try Have a Nice Day Cafe next Thursday - once again a cover free ladies night. Anything has GOT to be better than that - and it's much closer to home - on a MAIN street even. *sigh*
I'm a dancing queen with no club to call home.....

Wish me luck.