Hopskitchin'

so, me & him....we still like each other, yeah. We still love each other, yeah. We still wanna marry each other, yeah. We just - *sigh* we just have to work out something that WORKS for us. GahAH! Oh! He got a job!! He's going to be a line cook in the resturant that he is waiting for the exec job to open up in. I'm not sure what sort of effect that is going to have on the rest of the line though - seeing one of 'theirs' (and a new guy to boot) be suddenly elevated to exec. Also - and I know why - I don't trust H. If he's shady grady enough to shop around for a new exec behind hs current exec's back (and the current HAS to know the axe is dangling by a very thin string) then what else might he do? *sigh* C. is just soooo dang excited about this job - for his sake I hope that it all comes up rosy. But at least it's some additional (bill-paying) income coming in! *does a lil dance*
Speaking of income - I picked up that part-time bookreading job. The lady really likes my style and my voice - so much that she gaveme the 'dry' stuff to read - I feel so cheated! *laughs* This is accounting, but at least I will be learning something new by going through this. IF I stick with this as she goes through law school, I might end up with half a law degree before it's all over.
Speaking of income once again - I KNOW one thing I would like us to do. We need a maid. Our house is so grubby it makes me SICK and I jsut can't dredge up the energy to clean it. The fact that he was at home all freaking day and did nothing didn't really up my urget o lcean after I got home from working all day either - but that's where it's at. I figure we should be able to handle having someone come in every once in a while and do the heavy stuff - it would so improve my sense of peace.

Ah yes - back to the job. C. wants to stay there (in the exec. position) long enough that he gets some good tenure, a good name for himself, and a good base to get ready to strike out and REALLY do his own thing. This of course, means that we will be in the Indiana area for (if he actually keeps the job) at a minimum another two years. While that fits into my budgetary plans just wonderfully - I don't know if I can survive here for another two years. Here being this city, this job, this- this! I feel like I'm getting old - like I've let so MUCH of my life slip by, and now I need to hurry up and do everything else I want to do before I get into the rest of my life. See- I want babes and I wanna be home with my babes and sometimes I feel like that is going to be a big ole gray area in my life where what I want to do will take second place to what the little ones NEED me to do. *sigh* It's almost like now that I'm looking it dead in the face - I'm scared of the motherhood that I want to have. Eh. I've got time though - another 2 years at least. I just didn't really plan on spending them HERE.
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I need to make some friends and I need to do this badly. I think that might be one of the reasons me & C. irk each other so badly - we are the others sole close relationship in the area. We both have rally good friends - but the live hours away. Hm. Since C. will be working most Saturdays, I think that I will get the Nuvo on Wednesday, and try to find something free and fun to do every Satruday - and try to meet at least ONE person each time. I can't make friends sitting at home, now can I? I don't even care at this point - male. female, black, white, whatever - I just need a vibing pardner (or three). I need to email Dawn.