run far, far, far away - and run now.
Okay - you can read this part first... then run. Mwuauaauauahhhhaaa!!
So, right - I had just gotten home from work, working out, and stopping to see my hubby at work so that I could pick up our house keys, as I had locked myself out of the house.....
Anyhow!! I was sitting back, kicking it, doing a lil work when I saw something crawling across the floor. Mind you, I was a good 3-4 feet away (sitting on the couch and all) and I could SEE that this sucker was hairy. Now, thanks to A, my Nashville friend who's dad was an entomologist (dude who studies bugs), I've been slowly overcoming my - general squickishness/stomping urges - towards anything with more than four legs.
So - I got the bright idea to not only capture this crawling creature in a container (the better to release to the wild, you know) but also to photograph it, so that I could actually look it up on What's That Bug, and you know, educate myself - because as I like to tell my clients (client) - ignorance breeds fear. I got up and looked for a container (with a lid) and ended up with a jelly jar - a glass jelly jar. I took the lid off, and laid the jar on it's side, and tapped the lid on the floor to encourage the little (relatively speaking) bugger to run into the jar. After catching it - I admit, I slammed on the lid, and waited for him/it to calm down a bit (ie, stop trying to escape by climbing the walls of the jar). Eventually it/she calmed down enough (or got sick of sliding down the side of the glass) to stay still, and I realized that taking a picture of something small and dark in a glass container with a flash was a very, very bad idea. I ended up creating a mini lightbox with the strategic placement of a flashlight, and many many bad words and heartstopping moments when I thought it was going to levitate out of the jelly jar through pure irate pissedoffedness.
I had used What's That Bug previously to identify a Golden Garden Spider (also known as a St. Andrews Cross Spider for the distinctive 'cross' that their HUGE long legs form) that was kicking it outside of my front door - HUGE spider. HUUUUUGGGGEEEE. But - ya know, non-poisonous, bugeater, and really - pretty as hell, all yellow and white and black and decorative. Now - this current bugger (hehehe) wasn't really all that cute. In fact, it/she was really the sort of thing alien monsters are made of. In fact - it had a freaking SKULL on it's back. Yeah. Think I'm crazy?? (this is your last chance to run)....
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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
See the skull? Okay, okay, maybe it WAS a face - but I'm just saying!!! Big! Hairy! do you see those JAWS!!! And, as I was taking pictures (many many pictures - though, I didn't mind too much, as I finally figured out how COOL the digital macro function on my camera is), he/it eventually stopped moving around, and stood in one spot, and STARED at me. You see those little buggy eyes? Seriously. It was coming up with different ways to grow much, much, MUCH, larger and eat my head.
Finally, I got a few good pictures (and just as my battery was dying too) and I carefully put the lid back on (because just because it had been tame for so long was no indication of its future domesticity) and went onto the front porch and tossed it out of the jar and into the bushes by the front door.
I know, I know - spiders don't have memory, but I insist in believing that if I treat the spiders right (releasing rather than killing, consiously avoiding webs, commenting on how pretty the Golden Gardens are) then they will treat me right and not lay eggs in my ears.
So, once it was safely outside (and the doors were locked) I investigated, and discovered that it's some sort (most likely ground dwelling) of North American Jumping Spider. Can I briefly comment on how GLAD I am that this badboy did not JUMP while I was sitting the camera on top of a barely 2 inch high jelly jar to take pictures???!!??? *fans self* I've never fainted, but I may have screamed, scrambled backwards, fallen over the couch and cracked my head open. Though, checking Wiki it says that the jumping spiders can USUALLY climb glass rather easily - so, I don't know. Wiki also comments on the fact that the little buggers will WATCH you (they are thinking about eating your head, I SWEAR!) so - maybe it is.
Since that's an actually pretty darn good picture - I'm considering submitting it to What's That Bug, and seeing if they can pin down the genera (over 500) and specied (over 5000).
As soon as my skin stops doing the creepy crawlies.
And ya know, I'm the one who WANTED to live in the woods. Ummhmmm.
All I'm saying is - the humans run the INSIDE of the house, ya'll run the OUTSIDE of the house. Take care of the mosquito problem, and we might be able to share the carport/garage.
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