FairWeather & Stormy Friends

The events of the past few weeks have really gotten me focused on the subject of friends/friendships. I have to wonder what makes a strong friendship, and what makes an acquaintence. I had noticed that throughout my life, most of the acquaintences come and go, as the situations that have thrown us together come and go. But the friends..they stay. Though I may not connect to them as closely or as frequently as I do my acquaintences, I know who they are.
Two things happened today that reminded me of who my real friends are. The friends that are so close that they have transcended being friends and are now my family. Like blood to me. The first thing was I talked to my 'sista' for almost 4 hours...she called me sounding distruaght as all hell and I called her back around quarter to 2 this morning. She was the only member of the family that I hadn't told about the abortion, and after we talked her issues to death... I tolde her about mine. And out of everybody I told... she was the only one who KNEW exactly what I was feeling. She was in a somewhat similar situation, and she could sympathize with me & counsel me.
She reassured me as far as my own judgement & the like were concerned...and assured me that I had a right to everything that I felt except for any kind of guilt or gullability. The second thing that happened today was that I spent most of the afternoon with an old friend of mine who was in town for a banquet. Even tho I have'nt seen her in ages, we 'talk' (IM) each other on a regular basis and that if nothing else keeps the bond strong, and we fell into the same type of sisterhood that we held before she went away. Now mind you, she isn't quite family...but she sure as HELL is a good friend.
Yet... right now I am sitting in a room full of other women, most of whom I see ona daily basis...and none of them have become any more than acquaintences (except for my sorors). I wonder why? I have looked back over the lifetime of the friendships that I have had, and I haven't found any real connection or similarity that would let me know THIS is why I have managed to keep this person so close to me for so long. The only commonality that each of my friends and my family share...and that is that we are scarily intelligent...amazingly different, African American and totally real. Other than that I have old friends, young ones... straight ones...gay ones...bi ones...male...female...neuter... *laughs* almost any kind of classification that you can place on a human, one of my real friends will fit into it.
I value the friends that I have.
I value the relationships I have.
I value them because I know they reflect on me.
I value these people, and they value me.
We relate to each other as treasures of the heart.

As for the fairweather friends...what they lose in not knowing me...is almost as much as I miss out by not knowing them. But since I treasure myself the way I do...I firmly believe that they miss out on more than they could possibly imagine.

Stay Jazzed.