Life Lessons

Sometimes, life just ain’t fair. And usually, when life is the most ‘unfair’ is when you learn the most from life. When circumstances & people & events start to knock you upside the head, that tends to be the point at which some of the most valuable lessons you will ever learn are being taught.

I have been learning a lot in the past few weeks, some of which I stoutly wished I never had to learn. But I guess it is better than I learn these lessons now, rather than wait until I am much older and much less able to change WHO I am because of what I have learned. And the sad part is I don’t think that the lessons I am learning should be something that anyone has to learn. When I have children, this will be one of the lessons I try to shield them from, because honestly, I am not sure whether what I have learned is a good thing or a bad thing.

I have learned that friendship can be much more narrow than it seems
I have learned that trust is rarely deserved
I have learned that it is dangerous to depend on anyone but myself
I have learned that assumptions based upon words are about as useful as promises written on air
I have learned that letting go is sometimes all you can do
I have learned suspicion/distrust
and worst of all, I have learned that all of these things apply to friends & lovers just as much as they do the stranger passing you by in the street

These past few weeks have enlightened me… and yet I don’t know how to write about it. I don’t know how to pull the words that can express the feelings from inside of me. And I worry that the feelings of hurt/anger/disappointment that I have felt were caused solely by me. That I walked into a trap that could clearly be seen, that I was not deceived by anyone except myself. I have to write this out of my heart & head slowly… and I am sure that sometimes…I will wish that I had not written. But I believe in Catharsis… and that right now… is what I most need.

Stay Jazzed.