So....

Did I have a miscarriage? Possbily - I took the pregnancy test too late to know for sure - since I didn't take it until I got back from Florida - so I might have been pregnant before I left Indy, and not realized it.

The IUD is mostly out, by the way - the string is pratically hanging OUT of me, and I can feel the bottom of the T (sharp little bugger it is) coming out of my cervix. I actually hope that I'm still on my period when I get home - it will most likely be easier to remove then. But - the the question becomes - do I get a new one? Do we toss in the towel and start trying? I'm going to have to have a nice long talk with Corey - I know that I can't afford a baby right now, and - sigh - with his ever so flexible job situation, - it it in the least bit wise for us to even consider? I mean shit, we might be a right fertile pair and get pregnant next month. And then - if that happens - that totally wipes out us going to Speke - would I be willing to move with a 1 month old? Shit - I'd be so out of the damn loop after maternity leave....*sigh* Money.

So. With a baby - there are really three choices.

1. I stay home with the baby - clearly, my personal favorite, and just as clearly, so unbloody fucking likely as I make the most money.


2. C stays home with the baby - reasonable  - his financial situation is precarious enough - if we continue to live where we are I can come home for afternoon feedings and so forth.


3. We put the baby in daycare - utterly unreasonable, as heaven knows that I can't afford it alone, and it would suck to have to pull the baby in and out based on whether C has a job or not.

Okay - I want choice one - badly, badly, badly.

So - let's look at it this way - what's my total debt load?

  7277.00 - Students Loans
    300.00 - Nordstroms Card
16357.00 - Car, Credit Card, EZ Loan
----------------------------------------------
23934.00 - Total Debts

Divided by ten - ten months, I'd have to pay roughly two grand a month - and of course, that's not including the usual monthly bills - rent, cell phone, electricity, insurance. Which means I'd roughly have to double my income. But still - it's only 25K. It's not totally outrageous. And I haven't even looked at Corey's bills. *sigh*

Boy - the lottery would be nice. Even 40K - that would seriously set us up. But....well. *sigh* Maybe I can write a book and get a fat advance. :) hm.

Edit:
And I'm an utterly horrid, horrid, horrid woman, as I wonder how much life insurance my grandmother has. *shakes head* Or my aunt for that reason, but I doubt that I'm a beneficiary.