First, there was the VERY negative HPT on 13DPO. Then, there were the stabbing pains in my breast, and a fellow little pimple joined the ring of pimples on my nipple. Then, I wake up, and my temp has dropped down, down, down, down to my coverline.
It's a feeling of a popped bubble. And I was so CERTAIN I was pregnant - it jsut FELT like I should be - I could be - I was. How graceful it would have been - how perfectly it would have worked out. I could have worked until Christmas holidays, gone home, had my baby jsut in time to claim her on the 2007 taxes, taken my lovely 12 weeks of maternity leave, and then quit. It would have worked SO wonderfully. *sigh* It just fit - like a puzzle piece. Each thing I thought of worked - the timing was magical.
I'm quiet, withdrawn, debating with myself whether I could maybe jsut process everything slowly, and that it's a very late implantation dip (and the stabbing feeling in my breast was mimicking the burrowing in my uterus - who knows?) and that I've still got a chance to be pregnant. Is it wrong that I'm holding this so close - that I'm not talking to C? I don't know. It's such a - womanly - thing. It's odd, for me.
Theres only one temping day left before I go camping - and if it goes up - I'll celebrate, and if it stays down, I'll get throughly fucked up over the weekend. It's really a win-win situation, either way it goes.
I'm still sad.
10:47
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