loving you freely
without any fear
loving you is easy
even tho
you ain't really here
never have i been hurt
by you
you have never caused me tears
all the pain I felt from you
was to prepare me for your
coming here
loving you is easy
child of my flesh
i wait for your coming
and pray you forgive me your death
balanced on a wire fine line
between hope & despair
frozen in the stillness
walking over empty air
i dare myself to fly
and see the view from down there
Okay...I am stressed stressed stressed. I am like the queen of planning & preplanning and having my plans laid out and cemented in stone. However, due to the fact that my plans hinge on OTHER people doing what the hell they are supposed to be doing, I am mildly stressed. I STILLL don't know when the movers are coming, I am not sure that the 'friend' who is supposed to be hooking me up with braids is really going to pull through, my refund money for my rent for the next two months still hasn't come through, and NOBODY is returning my calls.
*deep breath* And I'm broke. And I keep getting these freakish little flash headaches anytime I move too fast or lift something. What if I have brain clot or something and I will be dead in two days anyway?? Then none of this would really matter would it? And the fact that I am tripping over minute problems in my life would not be able to compare to the regret that I would have that I didn't spend these last few days having FUN. Relaxing, breathing, not being stressed about petty shit. But where is the line between not stressing over stuff and enjoying the minute by minute parts of life, and not stressing and screwing up because there is no plan b, c, or d? *sighs* Okay...really I am not the worrying type, but that is usually because I have everything under control. *sighs*
Anyway...the two poems I posted I found in one of my carry about journals, so I have no clue when I wrote them, except that it had to be some point after Good Friday of this year. The second one I think is a remake of one I wrote years ago on a scrap of a receipt that I found as I was pre-pre-pre-packing. I like the second one much better than the first, mainly because the first one seems a lot more rambly and general than the second, which is short & tight.
The first one could be called an Plea to A lost child, and the second one I want to call humility, because it feels like it's telling me to get off of any highhorse I could ever have conceived my self to be on, and look at the world from a more humble view. Eh...are you allowed to find the symbolism in your own work?
Stay Jazzed.
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