Mother Love

*sighs* talking to my momma always makes me feel worse and better at the same time. I am already in a funky mood, between money stresses, being lonely as hell, being stood up repeatedly by somebody who I thought was a friend and then reading too damn many black romance novels, too say that my wish list of my life is huge and most definitely in the front of my mind. All of the things that I want, and that I KNOW I am going to get, it is just a matter of taking the time to work through my plans and make it to that point. H

However, patience has never never been my strong point, and I want my life to be better and I want it to be better NOW. *sighs* *deep breath* I think that I will get int o doing yoga too. *sighs* I need to be able to release the desire for material things and live with joy & peace. Like the gospel song says “Count it all Joy” . Some days, even with all the madness that is going on, that has gone on, that will continue to be going on in my life, I will try to count it all as joy. Whether the event itself, what I learned from the event, the repercussions of the event, or just the wisdom that going through it gave me, I will count it as joy. Ugh…..even as I bitch about it, I will try to count it as joy. *sighs*

I hate love stories. *sighs* Especially romance novels. I need to meet more people. Not for love, but just for loving-kindness, like Eunice in Heinlien’s I Shall Fear No Evil . *sighs* The freedom to just be *sighs* myself… easy & free and giving & gentle & happy & easy & loving and.. *sighs* just as huggy and touchy feely and kissy as I want to be WITHOUT it being so damn sexual. *sighs* I know I was a cat in another life, and I am still in my kitten stage. Kittens curl up with any other kitten they can find, and not because they are in heat, but just because they LIKE being with others. I totally understood Brittany & the Love Bed on Big Brother. *sighs* I need a snuggle bunny.
ugh.

Stay Jazzed.