Streaming....

Hmmm....almost 1pm, I've got *thinks* 3.5 hours left, and my bestest chatting bud has abandoned me today, so I guess I'm going to have to entertain myself.

It's funny, how you'll have answers right in front of your face, and you'll ignore them because you KNOW the answer is there. Okay, that didn't make much sense, but you'll see what I'm saying in a little bit.

I'm very much so - disconnected from my job. It's interesting - work for me has never really defined who I was. I'm a computer analyst - but that's just what I do for a living. It really has NOTHING to do with who I am. And after the break, I've come back realizing that - not only does this job have nothing to do with who I am - I'm completely disconnected from it. It's not that I've become - slapdash with my work, because I haven't. I take pride in doing what I do well, and quickly. I just have absolutely NO investment in the process. It's a job. Nay, it's a paycheck.

Anyhow, one of the things that has been bugging me is that I have one very, very, very, anal coworker, who regularily comments two of the biggest work related sins there are in my book. 1) He doesn't have a good sense of boundaries - if I'm working on something, and someone comes to you and asks a question about it - redirect them to me, instead of taking on more work, and then bitchin bout how busy you are. and 2) He treats me like I'm slow.

I might be many things at work, but I'm not slow. Anyhow, I've been trying to figure how to - relax - I suppose is the best word in my dealings with him. I can't avoid him, as we work on the same damn module, but at the same time, I don't really want to interact with him, and I get the vibe from him that he doesn't really want to interact with me. So what do I do? How do I just let this go?

I was coming back from the bathroom, and for some reason, my eye caught a little scrap of paper I have posted on my cubicle wall:

The Five Simple Rules to Being Happy.
1) Free your heart from hatred
2) Free your mind from worries
3) Live Simply
4) Give More
5) Expect Less

and it just made - something CLICK. It was like - ya know - I'm not invested. I'm not connected. Why am I letting this 'percieved' irratation actually affect me? And I could almost feel the tension slip off my back. If he's that hard up for additional work - phhft. He can have it. I STILL do what I do very damn well. If he doesn't want my assistance, or can't bring himself to interact with me as if we are intellectual equals - *shrugs* his bloody loss. It's really got nothing to do with me. Give More, expect less.

So, I'm still bored at work, but at least I'm not irritated as well.

I need something else to research.