*hums* Hmm… I’ve been in an odd mood for the past few days… singing to myself a lot.. feeling like I need to just get out and dance in circles or something. I would call it spring madness or something if it was more…concrete. I feel like wearing flowy dresses and sleeping under the stars and traveling across America in a old small car with my very best friends. Hm. Maybe I’m just sick of work.. sick of pretending to be settled and calm now and reasonable and reliable. I wanna run off into Oz and not come back until Munchkin Land has turned into Silicon Valley. I need a vacation. I wanna escape in a way that reading and dreaming isn’t letting me do any more. I wanna be SO outta here. This whole day to day corporate job stuff SUCKS. I reallllly need to start writing so that I can get the hell out of this…place. I’m considering doing something that I really really really know I shouldn’t do. I want a laptop of my own, and as I actually DO have a credit card (yeah it’s in my mom’s name but I pay for it….) I can get a laptop. I have been rummaging this idea around in my mind for a quite a while, but I think I will save it as a reward for when (if) I pass this danngone class. *sighs* I am such a lazy bum…even when I know that it is in my own best interest to NOT be. *sighs* This is the same thing I went through with one of my classes while I was still in school.
Okay one of my co-workers just broke down crying. I hope that nothing is wrong with her yet to be born grand-baby… *sighs* I know that this project is stressful but damn… I hope it isn’t that bad.
Okay… family issues. *sighs* Mercy.
Back to whining about me. *sighs* I really don’t want to take this damn class. That is the problem…really once you get down to it. Arrgh. *hangs head* If I still could I would withdraw…but I KNOW that ain’t an option any more. Hm. Actually I can. I have up until two weeks before the last class. Interesting. *sighs* I’m not. I’m NOT. Dammit. Okay… I am gonna be just fine. I just submitted part of my project over a month late and he gave me a C. *shakes head and sighs* I realllllly have no excuse!
As a preparation for the exercise that I am going to start doing next week right after I gt my sneakers, I have started stretching every night. I used to be a scarily flexible person, but due to age, lack of use, and excess flesh being in the way, most of the lovely poses that I used to amaze my friends and intrique my lovers have gone the way on the Dodo. So I figured warming up those muscles, reminding them what physical activity feels like, is a good prelude to be working out. It is also helping me just FEEL better, as I have been suffering from aches and pains and the like for just waayyy too freaking long. What I thought was a sign of my eminent death may just be my body’s way of saying “HEY!!! I can’t haul around BUT so much now….”
Work has been fun. I am learning a lot more, and I feel a lot more comfortable transitioning into this role. Not leadership ( I don’t know shit about what I don’t know… and I certainly know that I don’t know enough to be in a leader ship role) but rather a more supporting role. Yes I know I bitched about the job earlier, and if I could get out of it I would… however I kinda enjoy what I am doing now. So I have to go and do it…
Stay Jazzed.
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