J said - Songs

Okay... now that I have returned.. I shall return with a vengance

Damn songs get stuck in your head. Mainly love songs...soft sweet songs that take me back to a time when...I guess I was in love. *laughs* no I WAS in love.. quite mad love too. And he...I still don't thik he loved/loves me the way I loved him. There are two songs for him...SWV's Weak:

I get so weak
in the knees
I can hardly speak
I lose all control
and somehing comes over me

It a shame your so AMAZING
It's not a phase I want you to stay with me
by my side
I swallow my pride
your love is so deep it knocks me right off
of my feet

Can't explain why your loving makes me weak.


Okay..that was one..which as I look back on it kinda was a load of bull..siply because HE made me wweak..not his love..just him....actully I think that song came out around the first time that we broke up...and since I was sucha limp lizie when it came to him it just reminded of him..or maybe we sang it together...


The other song...at least for him...is Have you ever... yeah the new BRandy song...


Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry?
Have you ever needed something so bad you can't sleep at night?
Have you tried to find the words but they won't come out right?
Have you Ever...Have you ever..
Have you ever found a love
you'd give your whole heart to..
only to find that love...
won't give it back to you..


That was the ending song I guess...*laughs* because it was clearly over... I had that.. but hmm.. it's not that way anymore....


My most recent ex.. hmmm... his songs were Loving you..


Loving you...is easy cuz your beautiful..
and everything that I dooo
Is out of loving you

lalalalala
Lalalalala
lalalalalalalalaaaa
doobie dobbie dedoooo
ahhhhhhhhhhhh

stay with me while we grow old
and we will will live each day in springtime
cuz evertything that I do.. is out of loving you....


Yeah.. i was almost SURE that he was the one...hm...it's odd..I have no problems with being viewed as a sexual creature...yet..when someone attempts to USE me as a sexual creature...espicially while preying on my weaknesses...damn him... I lose all respect...and I can't love someone who I don't respect...


They are really the only two who have songs....tho.. i felt so guilty for a while over my last BF in high school...cuz he loved me something FIERCE...that his song was Where Are you Know By Janet...


Where
Where are you now...
Now that I'm ready to...
Ready to love you the way you loved me then

if I close my eyes
and make a wish...
and want you to come right back and be here with me...


but...hmmm...after his best friend raped my best friend I hated his guts... so that was the end of that....



My songs are simple....I have a couple that I sing almost automatically when I'm feeling down.. and although I am NOT a really religious person.. there is something about gospel that simply soothes me...


*When I'm upset at the world -


Speak to my heart lord...
Give me your Holy words...
If I can't hear from you
Then I'll know what to do..

I won't go alone...
I'll never go on my own
Just let your spirit guide
and let your word provide....


*When I'm just down and out and tired-


I know somehow...
And I know someway...
We're gonna make it....
Make it....
WIth Jesus by our side
things will work out fine...
We're gonna make it...
Make it....


and ... when I need some inspiriation...well it's odd becuse that is whne you would think that gospel would be sung most often...but instead I sing one of two Desr`ee songs

Gotta Be -

You gotta be bad
Ya gotta be Bold
ya gotta be wiser...

All I know all i know
is love will save the day...


or I sing...

Moving-

I'm not moving from this place
from this space
from my history..

loving self can be so hard
honesty can be demanding
learn to love yourself it's a great great feeling.


So yeah I do tend to wander around humming something or another...usually love songs...almost always slow songs.. and sometimes they have a special significance..


J.