J said -You Have Now Entered...The T. Zone

Anyone remember how the Twilight Zone used to start by saying 'Please do not attempt to adjust your Television set...we are now in control.' That is how I feel about my moods. I feel like something or someone totally outside of myself is in control of them.

For example..today I have been totally euphoric. everything seems bright and fresh and wonderful and I'm going around singing love songs. If i didn't know better.. I would think I was in love. True..I have been feeling enourmous amounts of love for myself lately.. but that is simply because I'm such a beautiful wonderful person. There is no one for me to love currently.. at least not in that dreamy Panorama-Vision kinda way. So why am I so damned cheerful?? Maybe because I talked to my mommy yesterday...maybe because I am warm...I know I woke up grumpy at the world... but now...


I can see clearly now
the rain is gone...
It's gonna be a bright..
Bright...
Bright...
SunShiny day....


and yes.. the cloud cover is heavy..the weather is dreary.. and the day will NOT be remotely sunshiny...yet I feel...almost giddy. Like I recieved my hearts desire on a platter..and a bag of wishes and..and.. I just feel like twirling around and hugging everyone and smiling so much that my face bursts open.

Or maybe it's because I was out in the rain last night.. hhmmm.. it was wonderful.. a kinda cool rain...and kinda hard... but I felt like it was healing me of hurts I didn't even know I had as I stood out there and got drenched.


raindrops
kiss me
I imagine you.


Hundreds of kisses...from lovers and mothers...sisters and cousins...brothers and fathers...perfect strangers and long lost friends...all fell on me... firm and moist...whispering 'hello there...miss me? hello there...we are here...hello there...welcome back'


I think maybe the rain infected me with some joy. some kinda joy..umph umph umph...some kinda joy.


J.