The Rest of it al

I have to learn how to talk. I can open my mouth and speak on the minor minor things, but anything that really tickles my heart and that matters, I have a hard time speaking on. At least to other people. It was over this issue that me & Chef had our first big… ‘thing’. Not an argument, more of a very pointed inquiry into my head and heart and OUCH did that pointy thing hurt. In order to finally actually TALK to him I had to write what I wanted to say and read it at the same time. There is a disconnect between my head & heart & mouth that the head & heart & hand connection somehow manages to over come. So…over the weekend I went out and did some very single stuff…movies (by myself) shopping and drooling…random flirting…*grins* so all in all I had fun. This past weekend had to be one of the most relaxed weekends I have had in a while.

My bartending classes start today, and just my luck, it is cold as HELL frozen over outside. I really don’t like cold weather, and I remembered why after coming to work this morning. It’s icky. Period. That is all there is to it.
Speaking of periods, mine is a week late. I checked on *thinks* Thursday, and according to the little blue line, I’m not. However, as I brought a cheapie brand, and I used it at night, and as it still has not shown up, I think I will drop for the cash once again, just for my own peace of mind. Ugh. The simple thought that I might even remotely be pregnant again is about to drive me utterly batty. And if I am not and my cycle is just shifting to another type…argh! Why would it pick now? It has been being remarkably regular lately. *sighs* But…I shan’t worry about that right now. : ) It will do nothing but drive me batty.

*watches the bats fly around in her head*

Made my OB/GYN appointment…thank god nothing is wrong with me considering I can’t get an appointement until January 11th…at least that is just next year.
Hmm hmmm hmmm… In love with my hair lately. I realized just how comfortable I am with myself when I started thinking about whether I would want to be another race if I could switch. Just snap my fingers and be white or asian or hispanic or indian or african or whatever, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I am just peachy keen happy about being just where I am. As much as I bitch and moan about my weight, I would not trade this body for anybody elses…as much as I groan about what I am going to do with my hair, I wouldn’t exchange being able to feel the rich silky thickness of my hair for anything else. Yeah, I want to be slimmer…but that is just a matter of time. Yes, I want my hair to be longer, but once again, that is just a matter of time. I am actually HAPPY with what I have to work with…and man it’s a wonderful feeling. Happy happy joy joy. That’s really all there is.

*Shakes head* I am so multiplicitious.

Stay Jazzed.