Yes, yes I know - all I can talk about is the potential for a new job. I don't really expect it to be much different - but the simple fact that it IS different will make it better - at least for long enough for me to roll over into doing what I really want to do.
But - I feel soooo guilty. Maybe it's because I'm keeping a secret from most people at work, and while I merrily do things and work my ass off (in general) - I'm rushing back to my PC to check my external mail to see if I have another 'iron in the fire'. I talk with my boss about things that are going to be happening in May, and I know damn well that I have utterly NO intentions on still being here then. I feel like I'm treating him unfairly - like I'm treating my team unfairly - not by leaving, as they can kiss my entire sunshiny ass - but leaving when I'm the only one who can do some of the things that I do.
I just got a raise too - 5% - which ain't nothing to sneeze at - but *sigh* I might be able to get a 35% raise by leaving. I'm going to be working on the Australia release, but I'm still going to be LIVING in Indiana. I'm finally getting a promotion to the next level, but I can jump over that level entirely by leaving. I'm not trying to make a career here, or there, for that matter. I'm just working to pay the bills and save a little and have a little fun - and dammit, I'd rather move at 85 miles an hour than at 58 miles and hour, ya know? *snort* I just have to keep chanting to myself 'What would they do if I was hit by a bus??' (not that in any way shape or form am I saying that I'd rather get taken out than walk out) but...... *sigh* I'm nice, dammit. And even when I'm fed up, I still want to be nice. And even when I know that I'm not going to get what I want out of the relationship, I still have a hard time breaking up.
But at least I know that this time, I'm not going to be the one crying.
Mwauahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa......................
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