Ouchy Stuff and Random Stuff

Warning: This is going to be quite graphically gynecological. That’s all

My stuff hurts. *Laughs* That is what I have been thinking since yesterday after that damn examination. It was kinda cool though. I got a good & up close look at my cervix as the doctor angled the TV screen so that I could see what was going on too. Very pretty actually. *laughs* The only painful part was when he went up inside my cervix and a little into my uterus to get a sample. He said it could cramp a little. Dear god…if that was a little I am SUCH a wuss. It’s amazing how rabid my uterus is about foreign objects. Anyhow… I have two ‘odd’ spots on my cervix, and he took a biopsy of both of them so that they can be tested and figure out what’s going on. After he was done he put some insta-scab stuff on my cervix…and I think that is what is making my stuff hurt. I am very sensitive to anything inside of me…from sperm (when I was on the pill, I would HAVE to douche after sex or I would itch for the next two days) to nonoxyl-9 (I can’t let that stuff get anywhere NEAR me). *sighs* but…from the reading I have done it is most likely one of three things. 1) It’s just some odd cells, nothing much to worry about and they will go away on their own. 2) It’s some form of HPV, and considering that it is the #1 STD in the US, and 80% of sexually active people have been exposed to it… I wouldn’t be too surprised. If it is, hopefully it is the low risk kind, the kind that doesn’t lead to cervical cancer. 3) It’s cervical cancer. That might flip me out a little. Okay. Yeah. That would flip me out a lot. My auntie dies of colon cancer, and well… yeah. Cancer freaks me. Hm. I don’t know…I’m not really worried because at this point there is nothing I can do about it. The worst part will be telling Chef about what is going on. *sighs* Even though, it is starting to freak me out that I still haven’t gotten my period (naturally) and that my NP is so calm about it. To me the combination of these two things is reallllly creepy. *sighs* I don’t like it. Not at all, not at all, not at all. : (

End of Graphic stuff… for now

I re-discovered one of my old favorites today, and I’m quite thrilled. It tends to freak me out when people just vanish…not because they might be dead or something but because I just don’t know what’s going on. I don’t like suspense… Anyhow… I figured that she had just decided to withdraw from all the interesting OD stuff that was somehow connected to her, and didn’t really sweat it. It was good reading up on her again though… it’s interesting how she expresses some of the oddities that I feel sometimes in my life.

I brought an issue of Mademoiselle almost two weeks ago because they had an article in there about the ‘Quarter Life Crisis’, as in the state that mid-twenties women get into because they feel like they should have everything going for them, and even if they do they still feel somehow dissatisfied. Mind you, I still have not read any more of the article than the first few paragraphs (which I read while in the grocery store) and it is hiding somewhere in my living room. *rolls eyes* Somehow I feel very… *thinks* psychobabbly reading it because it seems like EVERYTHING has been turned into a ‘syndrome’ or something…but I am curious.
When I got home yesterday afternoon my entire apartment smells like *thinks* a huge box of LemonHeads. *laughs* The carpet was nice and fluffy clean though, so I am excited. When I get home today I should have a BA TV and my entertainment center in the living room. I didn’t move the bookshelves last night like I was supposed to…mainly because I was cramping like all get out and was just too tired in general to even move. So…I’ll have to do that today before I set up the center. *sighs* Wayyyy too many damn books, and I really just don’t feel like moving them. I knew I should have had them set up in the office when I moved there in the first place. Ah well… I’ll do it. I wonder if Chef will be there in time for him to help me move them. I’m so damn impatient I most likely won’t wait for him. *sighs* I don’t know.

Well… I have a lunch date today… even though I’m not really hungry I will go out and eat. *gag*

Stay Jazzed.