With Arms Wide Open - Porn, Money and Men

Well… it’s been an interesting day in the world of OD. I have been drifting through my favorites (which have most likely swelled to close to 80 now) and BOYYY are there some… true and uniquely *clears throat* shall we say interesting people out there. I found a couple of entries on racism, a lovely diatribe about Republicans, and a collection of diaries who seem to get some kind of perverse 5th grade pleasure out of bitching about another diarist.

*shakes head* Humans are demented sometimes…but hm. I have been reading Dune again, and one of the things that the Bene Gesserit tested for was whether or not people were humans or if they were just people. Humans had an awareness of themselves and others, levels of understanding of themselves and respect for themselves and the world around them. At the same time…they were able to live and let live. So I want to change that and say that people are demented sometimes. Humans are what we should all strive to be. Okay… now that I have delicately skirted the edge of eugenics… let’s move in my life shall we?

Talked to ThatGuy again last night. It was an interesting conversation. I felt like I was talking to some guy I gave my number to and we were trying to feel each other out. It really wasn’t to bad.. but as I am totally keeping my emotions about on the surface, I refuse to dwell on it for too long. We are supposed to hook up on March 14, between me being in ATL and him being in New Orleans…but it seems like it will be interesting.
*sighs* I made bread yesterday… it’s came out okay, but no where NEAR how good I remember bread being. Maybe I am rushing it and not letting it rise enough… I don’t know. It just smells so dang wonderful. *shrugs* and James Beard, as wonderful as his cookbooks can be, simply SUCKS when it comes to giving you the whys and what-for’s of stuff.
Cheffy went to his apartment last night and it was sooo odd not having him there. *shrugs* I guess I will get used to it eventually.
I watched some movie that was subtitled, and was all about three families. Jewish, Muslim and Sicilian that lived in La Goulette…which I think was in South Italy. I THINK…. It was really good and funny though. Because of that I didn’t get half way near enough sleep… but I’m okay for today.
Also last night I watched some really really soft porn called ‘Black Hot Bodies’ which was mainly a bunch of artificially augmented black women dancing badly to god knows what music and dubbed over by bad 70’s porn music. Why oh why does porn always come with the cheeeseist of soundtracks? Why couldn’t it be the REAL music that strippers dance to and folx smurf to? I KNOW that yucky stuff is not what they are listening to while they do it…so why do we have to listen to them while we watch them do it? *shrugs*
Anyhow… I made an interesting discovery while watching them… I reallllly don’t wanna be THAT skinny. I mean god… these sistas had NO flesh on their bones. I like my hips and my ass and my tig ole bitties…in fact there are only a couple of spots on my body that I wish were smaller. Hm….tummy tuck maybe? I think that is one of the reasons why I have such a hard time sticking to a diet… I actually like MOST of my body…I wanna keep my curves and the swoops and the soft spots that make me feel feminine. Another thing I noticed was that most of the time, fake tits are the MOST unnatural looking things in the world. I’m not sure if they just went to bad surgeons.. or if that is how they actually WANTED to look.. but yyeeechhh… and I am not even going to START talking about the fake ass weaves… *rolls eyes* I know there is a certain ‘standard’ that folx in the sex industry have to live up to… but UGH…. don’t men really want to see REAL women and not pinched, plastic and just ugghhy imitations of women? Another thing I wondered (though a while ago) was that how can I woman get into a porno (men never seem to have this problem) and get paid for having sex… and NOT look like they are enjoying it? I mean to me.. it seems like in order to get into porn in the first place, you REALLLLY have to enjoy sex. I mean to take a job that requires you to fuck varied numbers, sizes and types of men on a regular basis should mean that you at least DIG having sex…and even if it starts to be old hat you still remember how to fake it. But noo….I have seen some women in pornos who look like they are taking Queen Elizabeth’s advice – “ Just lay there and think of the country”. *sighs* Maybe I need to get… um I mean watch *laughs* (I refuse to buy porn unless it is Pay per View...never found anything worth spending money on) some of the porn that is directed and written by women. I know I have a different out look on sex than.. actually… sometimes I tend to have a different outlook on sex than most women that I know… so that theory might have just gone down the drain. There is this video store around the corner from me that rent’s porn….maybe I will go and try some out.
And on a totally unrelated topic (seriously) I got some druggggss from my doctor last night. For some reason I’m having a hard time swallowing pills.. *shrugs* my gag reflex seems to have returned. Then again that just might be because I am trying to take them dry.
I talked to girly with the furniture and I am going to get my stuff tonight tonight tonight. I don’t know how long it will be before I can actually get it, but at least they have it available. I’m not sure if I want to get the whole set (couch, loveseat, chair and ottoman) or if I will not get the loveseat. *smiles* I’m excited cuz I can easily afford to get the whole set if I wanted to.. I just don’t know if it will all fit into my house. : ) It has most certainly taken me long enough. I’m going home to pick up my floor chart, change my shoes, find my scarf and gloves, and maybe grab a book, and then I am off for the hour ride to the furniture store. *sighs* I still have way too much time left here. But at least it is THURSDAY…. Which means that tomorrow is my favoritest day of the week… : ) and we ALLLL know what day THAT is. : ) And on Saturday the people are coming to hopefully fix my TV. If they can’t fix it perfectly I am just gonna take it back. *sighs* and drop the other 150 that it would take for me to get a brand new TV of the same size. Hmmm…. I’ll have to think about it. I am off. Maybe I will go to emode.com and find some new personality test that I have not taken….

Stay Jazze