Choices, Choices....

Perfect use failure rate = the estimated percentage of pregnancies that will occur if the birth control is used correctly and consistently
Typical use failure rate = the estimated number of pregnancies that will occur with a typical user who does not use the contraception consistently or correctly

Contraceptive Method	Perfect Use (%)	Typical Use (%)	My Thoughts
Spermicides	18	29	Is there anything reliable besides Nonoxyl-9? I can't walk around looking like I have crabs.
Male Condoms	2	15	I suppose, but ick!
Female Condoms	5	21	Um, No.
Diaphragm	6	16	Hmm....maybe, but you have to use spermicides with them, right?
Cervical Cap w/o prior pregnancy	9	16	Huh. That might be an idea
Sponge w/o prior pregnancy	9	16	Once again, Nonoxyl-9
Oral Contraceptives	0.3	8	Nooooooooooooooo!!
Contraceptive Patch	0.3	8	Hell No!!
Vaginal Contraceptive Ring	0.3	8	Just tried that one, and no.
Depo-Provera	0.3	3	*screams*
IUD (Copper)	0.8	0.6	*sniffsniff* How I miss you my little tinman. How I wish you had a sister who was good for a year.
IUD (Mirena)	0.1	0.1	Hormones = no thank you
No Method	85	85	Hah! That's called trying to concieve
Ovulation Method	3	22	Maybe - they have those convienent little monitors - I'd have to invest in pregnancy tests though - I'm paranoid enough as it is.
Sympto-Thermal Method	2.5	13-20	My temps are - odd. I tried charting them before, and my weekend sleep cycle tends to screw it up - but I might try, try again.
Calendar Method	5	13	My cycle is a little long, but regular as clockwork, so this might work.
Lactation (LAM)	0.5	6	Hmmm..... would have to ALREADY be lactating for this one, and that's what we are trying to avoid, so no.
Withdrawal	4	27	*snort* *snicker* *ROFLOL*
Abstinence	0	0	HAH!

I want to snarkily comment on the fact that the ONLY options on this list that apply to men, have existed since - hell, the Egyptians were the first ones to come up with condoms, I believe. And I'm sure even the PREhistoric man figured out how abstience and withdrawal worked. Where the hell are the YEARS of study and research on how to nip the SPERM in the bud rather than the egg? I mean hell - there's gotta be some pill that will make them all come out tailless or something.

Such blantant sexism - pregnancy is, and always has been, a WOMAN's worry/ problem/ concern/ issue. How irritating. Yet as soon as ya get pregnant - it's the male-created obstetricial mindset that is supposed to suddenly be better able to understand, manage and control a very female experience. Bllleeh.