So. I'm leaving tonight to go to the doula trianing this weekend....and I'm nervous. It's not that I think I'll screw anything up - cuz I'm pretty sure that I won't. It's not that I think everyone will look down on me, cuz I don't think they will. It's not that I think I won't fit in - because all of us will be there, focused, on learning how to be a good doula. But I'm still nervous.
I think - I'm pretty sure that I'm nervous simply because I'm DOING it. I'm not just talking about it, just reading books, just half starting websites, just desgining business cards and brochures - I'm actually getting OFF my ass, and taking ACTION, and taking a real, physical step towards doing this, and honestly - I'm scared. What if I suddenly discover that I don't like it? What if I pass out at the sight of blood? What if - I mean - what if I never find anyone willing to let me be their doula? It's - so damn exciting, and so damn important, and so - scary all at once that I'm like - EEEEEEEE!!
Not that you can tell, of course, but yeah, me freaky out just a little bit. And I'm sure that I'll get there, and I'll make some cool ass new friends, and I'll learn a shiteload of stuff, and I'll come back fired up, and ready to finish the website, and get shit jumping.
*fans self*
So - in my normal spirit of being nervous as hell, I haven't done shit to get ready. Well, that's not quite true - I went home last night and washed clothes. So - just to focus on the concerns I CAN control - here's my rough packing list (which yes, I will print out and take home with me tonight)
All the Required Reading Books
Doula Bag (I have a copy of The Birth Partner, Baby Wipes, extra socks, a change of undies, baby powder, rice sock, and......something else in there)
3 very casual outfits, 2 nicer outfits, one club outfit (plus draws & bras as needed).
Shoes (dammit, I need to buy some new shoes!!)
3 flaky books
Tolietries (dammit, I forgot to wash my favorite towel!)
Snackies
Computer Supplies
I think that's about it. I'm sure I'll end up with more stuff, but it's ONLY a three day trip. The training is Friday, Saturday & Sunday, and I should be home by 8pm or so Sunday night, assuming we don't run over. It starts at 8:30am, which is why I'm leaving TONIGHT, so I can get a good nights sleep. Hopefully.
*frets uselessly*
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