Polishing my Pretty

I'm not a bad looking woman, overall. Some days, I feel prettier than I do on other days - but I think that's just how things are.

However, I've realized that there are several minor things that I can do - that I would actually enjoy doing - that will make those 'I look good' days pop up much more frequently.
It's a logical extension of my hair obsession - starting from the top, and trickling it's way down.
I'm already all over my face - I've got a pretty good routine (OCM, TTO Cream, Ayurvedic Cream) going on there.

I'm in the process of working on my body - and interestingly enough, for once, it's not REALLY for appearance reasons, and I'm happy with that. I'm motivated - highly - to lose weight, but it's not because I want to change my body - it's truly because it's healthier for me. That 'clicked' as I was leaving the gym last night, and realized that I was down 6 pounds from where I thought I was. So, this year, so far, I've lost 17 pounds - without really feeling like I've been on a diet, OR really pushing myself all that hard. That's impressive - to me, at least. A loss of 3.5 pounds a month, WITHOUT really working all that hard at it? Nice, very nice.

Also, the Metformin has really given me hope. I've ALWAYS felt like I was fighting my body when it came to loosing weight - that it rather stubbornly WANTED to hold onto to the fat, and damn whatcha heard, it was GOING to.

As I was telling C, I'm pretty certain that my insulin resistance is what caused Atkins to crap out on me. I lost 60 pounds - sticking to the diet, and doing some minimal exercise. Then I plateaued, and plateaued HARD. I added exercise - nothing. I maintained, yeah, but literally - I didn't lose another POUND - and then, my eating slipped, and it slammed back on like white on rice. I think that Atkins was able to suppress my insulin response enough that I could drop those initial pounds - but once my body got smaller, Atkins was no longer able to suppress my insulin enough to allow me - in a smaller body - to keep losing weight.

I'm already eating a low GI diet - definitely NOT very lowcarb, but I really don't want to go back to low-carb - I'm much more into eating REAL food, now, and the low-carb stuff - meh. It's just as bad as the other processed options out there. The lowGI diet though, is really what I lost those 17 pounds on - seriously cutting uberstarchy stuff out of my diet (though, popcorn, I still love thee!!).
And, I'm already exercising - not consistently, but that's my goal for May - to be pissing on point, 5 of out 7 days. C only works out 3 days - but now that he has a job, he's not home when I get home, so I can work out EVERY DAY if I want to. Fridays are always the hardest, as I just wanna fall out once I get home from work - but I think that it will always be 'weight' day, which, while sucky, is a shorter period of suck than cardio. *lol*

So, yeah. I think that I've got the body stuff down.

My next area of work?

Clothes.

It's really kinda sad, the clothing that I wear. It's old, it's decrepit, it's holey - but I keep on wearing it because I like it, it's comfy, and it fits my body type.
Which, really, is sad, considering that I OWN a sewing machine.
So. Over the last few days, I've been plotting out my wardrobe.

Really, I'm pretty consistent in the things that I like to wear, and the things that look good on me. Rather simply, it's this:

Long skirts - preferably ankle length. I really don't like how I look in most pants (because of the thighs almighty) and short skirts make me look stubby because I have surprisingly small calves/ankles relative to the rest of my body. Not too full, but definitely not straight, either.

Babydoll Shirts - with a band/pull in right under my boobs (which are, despite my belly, STILL the biggest part of my upper body), so that it accentuates the positive, and lightly skims over the negative. I don't care if it 'makes me look pregnant' as I've got a 4 month belly on me, anyhow. I realized that almost EVERY single one of the shirts I wear on a regular basis are that style, and there's a whole range of ways to make them look different, and still be the same basic style.

Tank Tops - I live in these, seriously. I sleep/exercise/work/cook/clean/live in a tank top, 90% of the time. I'm sure I can make them for cheaper (and sturdier!) with some ease.

Button Down Shirts - these are usually used as cover-ups/layering over tank tops during 'inbetween' weather. Preferably no chest pockets, and 3/4 length sleeves.

Tunic Sweaters - my standard winter time gear - hip length sweaters, layered over a tank top.

Dresses - for those days that I really don't feel like coordinating anything - an empire waisted (or wrap) dress, preferably ankle length as well - and 3/4 length sleeves. Basically, a shirt and a skirt joined as one.

And that's IT. Most of my wardrobe that I actually wear fits into one of the above categories.

It's stupid easy to sew long skirts, and tank tops - those are what I'm going to start with, just to get me in a sewing mindset.
Next, I'll tackle the babydoll shirts (as shirts are kinda easy for me to buy, it's bottoms I'm never happy with), and then the dresses. The last thing I'll start to work on are the buttondown shirts, as I suspect they'll be rather 'tricky'. And that's it.
I don't knit, so I won't be making any sweaters - but my sweaters are actually holding up rather well. They need to be throughly defuzzed, but otherwise, I can definitely rock them for another year.

So, yeah. I'm feeling - really, really, really good about things, just, overall - I feel - healthy. In spirit, mostly, but it's been a while.

Glow/Gratitude/Green

Things have been - exceptionally good.

I think it's a combination of several things - the weather has changed (finally), I've become more authentic (really, I have), and I've decided to appreciate life more.

It's amazing how little shifts in your mental mood can just ripple out and carry on for days/weeks - I don't know what it is, I just know I feel good. And I'm not worried about feeling good, I'm not concerned - and - it's really nice.

Finally had my follow-up appt. with the RE to analyze the 15 various vials of blood they've taken over the last few weeks.

My FSH was mostly within bounds - once it was 12.6, but I had uber high estrogen the same day, so that one doesn't count. The others were 7.7/7.6, so almost perfectly normal - So glad that I'm still able to be easily stimulated. *wiggles eyebrows*

My thyroid seems to be working normally, and I'm not anemic.

However - my LH - which should have been between 1 and 18 on CD3/4 - was 50. FIFTY! *lmao*

That, plus the fact that my testosterone is BARELY within normal (on the very high end of 'normal'), combined with the 13 or so cysts on my ovaries that he saw on the ultrasound ended up in a diagnosis of PCOS.
No big surprise there. I've had http://www.pcosupport.org up in a tab for the last two days, and I still haven't looked at it. It's not that I'm avoiding it, perse, I'm just not bloody READY for it.

So, he put me on 1700mg of Metformin, and he's scheduled me for a hysteroscopy on May 9th, because he still feels that my lining was too thick, and he wants to check for lesions and take a biopsy of my uterine lining. So. That's an out-patient procedure - but they are putting me under! I don't know how I feel about that. Mrr.

I took my first Met pill last night, and joy of joys, while I didn't have any tummy bubbling, I'm peeing out of my ass now, which while uncomfy, is at least controllable. I'm only going to be taking one dose for a week (850mg), and then I'm going to ramp up to taking two a day.

I'm really utterly unsurprised that I'm insulin resistant, and I suspect it would tie in if I was gluten-sensitive too.

I've already been tweaking my diet, and since I HAVE to eat with Met, breakfast is actually going to become a regular part of my day. I'm really excited to see what, if any, weight loss improvements I have while I'm on this. I've got a years supply from the one script, so - I hope it goes well.

Changes

I want to be sure, I want to remind myself, that even if my pregnancy, birth, conception, whatever, don't go the way that I would most prefer them to go - the research, study, and thought I have put into making the choice is always the wise way of doing things.

Very simply. Even if I'm wrong - at least be wrong, and partially informed. Or wrong, and fully informed. Or right, and partially/fully informed. Just - don't be ignorant.

That's really all I hope for myself some days - to be still willing - still open - still wise enough to learn. It's a backwards sort of wisdom - not the wisdom that comes with age, but the wisdom that is inherent in youth.

Learn. With every breath, with every moment - they are all different, somehow, and young wisdom knows that a different environment/episode is an environment to learn from. So, learn.

That's what I ask of myself. To be consciously willing to LEARN from every moment of my life - no matter how mundane.

And the Yale Student? Told the deans it was a lie, told the NY Times she told the Deans it was a lie to preserve her exhibit.

I still think she's lying - esp. since she admits she never took a pregnancy test.

Interestingly enough, without proof of her being pregnant, I actually find it a slightly more - thought-provoking and evocative piece - looking at the inherent - fragility of the line between life and new life.

I don't know.

The more drama, the more 'artistic' it is....

*hrmph*

Firsts....

For the first time, I bawled like a baby over not yet being pregnant. I've teared up a couple of times, I've gone into funks, but this - this made me cry.

For senior, abortion a medium for art, political discourse

Martine Powers

Staff Reporter
Published Thursday, April 17, 2008

Art major Aliza Shvarts '08 wants to make a statement.

Beginning next Tuesday, Shvarts will be displaying her senior art project, a documentation of a nine-month process during which she artificially inseminated herself "as often as possible" while periodically taking abortifacient drugs to induce miscarriages. Her exhibition will feature video recordings of these forced miscarriages as well as preserved collections of the blood from the process.

The goal in creating the art exhibition, Shvarts said, was to spark conversation and debate on the relationship between art and the human body. But her project has already provoked more than just debate, inciting, for instance, outcry at a forum for fellow senior art majors held last week. And when told about Shvarts' project, students on both ends of the abortion debate have expressed shock . saying the project does everything from violate moral code to trivialize abortion.

But Shvarts insists her concept was not designed for "shock value."

"I hope it inspires some sort of discourse," Shvarts said. "Sure, some people will be upset with the message and will not agree with it, but it's not the intention of the piece to scandalize anyone."

The "fabricators," or donors, of the sperm were not paid for their services, but Shvarts required them to periodically take tests for sexually transmitted diseases. She said she was not concerned about any medical effects the forced miscarriages may have had on her body. The abortifacient drugs she took were legal and herbal, she said, and she did not feel the need to consult a doctor about her repeated miscarriages.

Shvarts declined to specify the number of sperm donors she used, as well as the number of times she inseminated herself.

Art major Juan Castillo '08 said that although he was intrigued by the creativity and beauty of her senior project, not everyone was as thrilled as he was by the concept and the means by which she attained the result.

"I really loved the idea of this project, but a lot other people didn't," Castillo said. "I think that most people were very resistant to thinking about what the project was really about. [The senior-art-project forum] stopped being a conversation on the work itself."

Although Shvarts said she does not remember the class being quite as hostile as Castillo described, she said she believes it is the nature of her piece to "provoke inquiry."

"I believe strongly that art should be a medium for politics and ideologies, not just a commodity," Shvarts said. "I think that I'm creating a project that lives up to the standard of what art is supposed to be."

The display of Schvarts' project will feature a large cube suspended from the ceiling of a room in the gallery of Green Hall. Schvarts will wrap hundreds of feet of plastic sheeting around this cube; lined between layers of the sheeting will be the blood from Schvarts' self-induced miscarriages mixed with Vaseline in order to prevent the blood from drying and to extend the blood throughout the plastic sheeting.

Schvarts will then project recorded videos onto the four sides of the cube. These videos, captured on a VHS camcorder, will show her experiencing miscarriages in her bathrooom tub, she said. Similar videos will be projected onto the walls of the room.

School of Art lecturer Pia Lindman, Schvarts' senior-project advisor, could not be reached for comment Wednesday night.

Few people outside of Yale's undergraduate art department have heard about Shvarts' exhibition. Members of two campus abortion-activist groups . Choose Life at Yale, a pro-life group, and the Reproductive Rights Action League of Yale, a pro-choice group . said they were not previously aware of Schvarts' project.

Alice Buttrick '10, an officer of RALY, said the group was in no way involved with the art exhibition and had no official opinion on the matter.

Sara Rahman '09 said, in her opinion, Shvarts is abusing her constitutional right to do what she chooses with her body.

"[Shvarts' exhibit] turns what is a serious decision for women into an absurdism," Rahman said. "It discounts the gravity of the situation that is abortion."

CLAY member Jonathan Serrato '09 said he does not think CLAY has an official response to Schvarts' exhibition. But personally, Serrato said he found the concept of the senior art project "surprising" and unethical.

"I feel that she's manipulating life for the benefit of her art, and I definitely don't support it," Serrato said. "I think it's morally wrong."

Shvarts emphasized that she is not ashamed of her exhibition, and she has become increasingly comfortable discussing her miscarriage experiences with her peers.

"It was a private and personal endeavor, but also a transparent one for the most part," Shvarts said. "This isn't something I've been hiding."

The official reception for the Undergraduate Senior Art Show will be from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. on April 25. The exhibition will be on public display from April 22 to May 1. The art exhibition is set to premiere alongside the projects of other art seniors this Tuesday, April 22 at the gallery of Holcombe T. Green Jr. Hall on Chapel Street.

The first thought in my head? That BITCH! She gets pregnant - multiple times, no less! - solely to have an ABORTION for the sake of fucking ART?!? ART? Where is the art, in that?

Art: a: the conscious use of skill and creative imagination especially in the production of aesthetic objects; also : works so produced

I suppose, if one was being strictly dictionary, she did use her creative imagination to produce an aesthetic object, if someone can find beauty in blood and dead children. *tear* I can't. It's just a open bit of sadness, for me, right now. Actually, this would have been horrifying and - seriously psychotic - no matter where I was in my life, but at this point? Right HERE? It's making me cry.

I suppose dead kittens are art, too, somewhere.

The only thing that soothes me, is that - while she did say that she repeatedly inseminated, maybe - just maybe - she really wasn't pregnant. Maybe - just maybe - it's really just menstrual blood, and she wanted to make it more 'interesting' and 'shocking', so she called it a miscarriage.
That's the only thing that's - that's - I don't know. It's the only thing that could possibly make this less horrifying.

From a purely political point of view - I think that she had the right to do what she did. By law, she was well within her rights. As a pro-choice/pro-women's rights individual, I have to set my personal feelings aside, and say - yeah. That's her right - as unsettling as it is, because to say that it's not her right to do it, erodes all of our rights. Do I still think it's psychotic? But of course.
But then, all the 'good' artists are insane, aren't they?

Odd....

This will be my 3rd year going to Daughters, and for some reason this year - I'm totally not into it. I'm not excited, I'm not hyped up like I usually am - I'm - I don't know. I don't know if it's a withdrawal type thing, I don't know if I no longer really feel connected (I don't remember what the last rit I went to was - Imbolc, maybe?) because of my ingrained avoidance of drama and.... I dunno. I'm bleh, about it overall. It's not going to stop me from going - but I don't feel my usual pre-festival high.

Had Realm Class last night - it was just me & MD, which was cool - she told loads of stories - I really like interacting with her. Class was also cut short, because of the severe weather we had blowing through - and because students were so light on the ground.

I've decided to only give myself ONE set of homework every two weeks, instead of two. :) So, this blocks homework will be the letters to myself, my body, and my money.

Speaking of money, C got a job! We are going to act like he doesn't have one though, and funnel all of his checks into paying off the CC's that we've run up. We should be able to knock those out of the water in 5-6 months, easily, and then - well, we'll come to that bridge when we get to it.

I've been thinking about how to look at my job differently, to make it more fun. I doubt that I will ever leap out of bed in the morning, just raring to get here (but I could be wrong), but I do think that I need to do SOMETHING to - heighten my vibrations about this place. I don't know.

One of the things (linked to Realm) that I'm trying to do is that I'm trying to release the - belief/filter that my coworkers don't like me/barely tolerate me/are out to get me. That, I think will be one big - block - for me to overcome in 'assimilating' better.
The other - *sigh* - I don't know. I think that once I stop thinking they hate me, I'll be more comfortable in being a little more aggressive with things.

I just laid out my 'schedule' for this summer, and sheesh!! If I do everything that I would WANT to do, only one weekend in April is booked, every weekend in May is booked, two weekends in June are booked, and a full week is booked in July.

*sigh* I know that I can't/won't/don't want to be running like that. So. I think that I'll limit myself to just local festivals this year. So, no RitFest, no PUF. *sigh* I was sicker than a dog at PUF last year, and RitFest was too fucking hot the year before, so I don't mind sitting those two out. Esp. since PUF is right before Care's baby shower - pffhht!

That'll also help me take fewer days off - I'm not sure how many I have left.

That's better. One weekend in April, two in May, one in June, and vacation in July. *nod* That's MUCH more reasonable.

I think that's about it, for right now. :)

Timing....

is the linchpin on which the universe turns.

I still - still - have not written the letters to myself. I've been caught up in TreasureMapping and trying to plow through my Realm homework - which, if I'm honest with myself, simply will not be done in time for class tomorrow. It deserves more attention than that, and I haven't been able to give it that attention. *sigh* I'm considering playing hooky from class tomorrow, but I won't do that - I'll just admit that it took me much longer than I expected to get into it.

My treasuremap, though, is done. It's funny - perceptions and timing, I mean - as I was cutting, I kept thinking that I didn't have enough - that the tiny collection of scraps and ends of paper in the box would NEVER cover the whole 36 x 36 board - until I really laid them out, and started looking at them, and splitting them up into the various baguas. Once I was all done, I realized that not only did I have enough to cover the whole board, I had MORE than enough, and thus was able to pick and choose exactly which images/words 'sung' to me at that point in time. I didn't even really think as I glued it together - I really haven't 'thought' about the whole process - I just flowed along with it. I'll take a good picture of it once I get home, and add that here.

The DailyOM for today was about letting yourself be carried by the flow of the universe. I poo-poohed LJ for years for going along with that sort of 'flow' stuff, but I think it's because - well, he was focused on the process, and I couldn't grok how letting yourself 'idly' flow would ever get you to where you wanted/needed to be.
But now, I think I get it a little more. It's not about not doing, it's about not being attached to the results of what you do. It's about doing your personal best, and trusting that you making that effort, along with relaxing into the flow of the universe to allow the best results to come from that effort (even if they aren't the results you were actually shooting for). It's a bloody delicate balancing act it is, all tied up with faith and trust, which, yeah, are two of my personal weak points.

It's funny, for the last week or so, there have been a lot of thoughts going through me around money, and finances, and DH's job situation, and etc...... and then, I really pulled myself together, and realized that fretting over it wasn't going to do ANY good, and started actually LOOKING at what I could do (both financially and emotionally) to release that stress. Lo & behold, today DH gets a call for a job offer.
I felt sort of - guilty? unworthy? greedy? for the stuff that I put in my Abundance & Prosperity section - but the more I think about it, the sillier that seems. I mean - it's Treasure! It's - Prosperity! Don't I want to be prosperous? If so, what's the harm in saying - hey! I wanna be prosperous!

I also think - I'm pretty certain - that I will be turning my PC off when I leave work, even if I'm on call. It'll only take me minutes to turn the laptop on once I'm home, it'll stay cool while I'm traveling instead of overheating, and it'll reduce the 'urge/habit' of getting home and plopping my happy ass right back on the computer. There is so MUCH that I have all around me to captivate, entertain, and amuse me - I really should be able to wean myself free of this electronic leash with some ease.
And if I DO want to hop online for something, I'll go and use the desktop..... *nod* The convenience of the laptop is just - far, far too easy to get sucked into.

I've also signed up for another email list - Go Gratitude - which is going to send me 42 days of gratitude filled ideas and expressions. The first thing I'm going to work on is my job. I'm here, today. And this moment is really the only moment I can TRULY influence - so how can I influence myself to rejoice in what I have? I don't know how, just yet, but I'll figure something out.

And, on that note, let me attend to my Realm homework.

Challenges

C and I are going to train for the BRAT (Bike Ride Across Tn) in 2009. *dizzy* I think that we can do it. It gives us a solid 18 months to train for it - and - well.

I think we can do it.

I read this on a forum I'm on - and I thought it was one of the most valuable things I could have read.

First: You need to face the facts - You are not lazy. Lazy doesn't exist. You may be comfortable, you may be afraid, you may be injured, you may be a million things, but you may not be lazy. Lazy is a lame excuse when we're afraid to face the real issue. Face it and deal with it.

Ouch! Youch! Hello!?

So, yeah. Still haven't done my homework. I'm about to work out a training schedule instead.

It's gonna be part Body For Life (for Women), part Couch to 5K, part strentgh training, and part Nourishing Traditions.

Should be interesting.

Slacking

Homework 1 is those letters to myself - due 04/02/2008
Homework 2 will be my Treasure Map - due 04/09/2008

Haven't done my first homework yet. Was hoping to work on it some at work - but I wanted to acknowledge that I'm slacking.
I have gotten the boards and some papers for the TM, though. I need to look up the colors for the bagua's.... hrmm, let me do that now.

This list follows the colors clockwise around the grid, concluding with yellow at the center.
Purple for Money and Prosperous Living.
Red for Fame and Reputation.
Pink for Romance and Marriage.
White indicates the area of Children, sometimes called the Creativity side.
Gray, or tan is the Helpful People area.
Black is the Career area.
Blue indicates the Knowledge area.
Green marks the Family area, also called Stability.
Yellow is the Health area, in the center of the board

So - that would relate to the other TM stuff I had as follows....

123
456
789

1-Abundance (Purple)
2-Fame/Reputation (Red)
3-Relationship (Pink)
4-Family (Green)
5-Health (Yellow)
6-Creativity (White)
7-Self knowledge & Skills (Blue)
8-Work (Black)
9-Helpful people & Travel (Gray/Tan)

I actually think I have all of those colors, too, which rocks.

I also got some patterned paper, and some vellum, in case we feel like being extra creative. The boards that I got are the huge (36 x 48) 'bendy' display boards, and the paper is 12 x 12 scrapbooking paper. I plan on cutting my board to make it 36 x 36, and using some of the leftover to 'stabilize' the bendy bit, and then using a single square in each spot - 12 x 3 = 36, so most convenient.

I'm also thinking about what magazine I want to get. We both need to buy a new one on Saturday - C will most likely get a food one, and - I don't know. I'll have to rumamge through the magazine rack and figure something out.
Or - I realized we might get a magazine in the mail on Saturday - which would totally rock. I'm making plans to go out and buy one though, because otherwise, I really won't leave the house.

Also, haven't started working out yet - and I think that I'm going to have to revamp my timing. I think - I don't think I'm going to be able to get up at the crack of dawn to work out. It too easy for me to fall back asleep (granted, I usually AM pretty tired), so I'm thinking of doing it when I come home, instead. Drop my stuff off in the house, change, grab some water, and head back out to the gym. *sigh* Get it out of the way, so to speak......

I really think that would be best, for me. Maybe if I get more energy, I can shift it to an early morning type thing, but for right now - no.

If I do that, though, we are also going to have to shift dinnertime/dinner prep up some - let's say i get home at 6, work out til 7, I guess I could go back in the house, take a shower (7:30) chill for 30 minutes, then start cooking at 8, eat at 9, be in bed by 10:30?

Bah. BAH! Fucking job taking up all the good hours.

Speaking of which, I need to do some work. Mrr.

River

I wrote this in class yesterday, and I wanted to remember it, and hold onto it, and possibly tattoo it on my ass.

The River is infinite - containing all the possibilities of what might be. I cannot reroute or control the river, but I damn sure can paddle my own boat.

I'm sure some one else has said it better. But it makes sense to me.

And another quote I'd like to hold onto...

Getting want I want does NOT equal having money.

Drr, and how obvious is that, but seriously.

I'm considering making myself a charm bracelet to remind me of these sort of things. The river would be a little oar. The money would be..... hrmm - maybe an infinity symbol - because that reminds me of the possibilities that are out there, without tying it to money. I want a simple silver link bracelet, and then I could make the charms out of Fimo........hrrrm. I'll have to think about it.

Change is internal....

and everlasting.

So. 2nd Realm - well, it's been beating me about the head (and heart) lately. Tomorrow is Day 365, and that's been beating up on me a bit, too. Plus, I'm coming to learn that I've been beating up and muzzling myself for years, and dude - that hurts. Plus - I can't stay at this job - baby or no baby, restaurant or no restaurant - doing this unauthentic work is killing me.

So. A couple of things that I plan on doing, and I plan on keeping track here, as well as in my Realm journal for the things that catch my mind when I'm not quite here.

There are three main areas that I want to work on.....

Physical
Financial
Authentic Self

I plan on doing a Treasure Map this year, and I know that I will include all of those things - that's going to be my long term - process. Here is a quick blurb & Q&A about them, written by Tracy Cook - I'm C&P'ing it here, because the website requires a login.

What is a treasure map, exactly?

A treasure map is a collage made of photos, magazines pictures, words, pieces of things that make sense to you...whatever you want and you put them on a foam core board or just cardboard or just something strong that can handle the collage. Put put them all together so you can look at it. It will be a MAP of what you want for the coming year.

What do you mean by, "what do I want for the coming year?"

Exactly what it says. Do you want a new house, a new living room, better health, stronger marriage, reconnect with people, a bigger family, a bigger community? Do you want to write your book? Do you want a new car? What is it you want? Do you even know what you want? If you are like many of us, you are so busy running around, taking care of everyone else that you might not have a fig of an idea what you want for your new year. That is the beauty of this process. You must sit down and figure it out. Give yourself this time to do it. Be just that selfish, and dare to dream.

Why do we do it in the Spring and not January?

Treasure Maps are made during the Aries new moon. Treasure Maps are made during the Aries new moon. Aries new moon change from year to year and this year, it will take place on April 5 8:54 pm PDT.
They are made on Aries New moon, because that is the first sign of the Zodiac. Aries is when you plant your seeds. It is the real beginning of the New Year. It should not be confused with the first day of Spring, which is usually on March 19 or March 20. New moon means the sun and moon are in the same degree. For those who don't know much about astrology (which is totally okay) Aries is the sign of SIGHT. That's why it's so important to have pictures of what you want. You need to visualize it. Or if you don't do photos/pictures, use printed words. It is merely important for you to see them.

I'm going to be busy on April 5. Can I start it before the 5th?

NO.

Do I have to buy a bunch of magazines? I'm broke, can I just borrow some old ones?

Personally, when I started my treasure maps I always did them with fresh new magazines. And in the old days, (not married, no children) I spent a lot of dough on them--only because I wanted lots of choices. But with time, I ended up only getting a few magazines. I never borrowed other magazines from friends. However, I know people who did it in previous years and I think they were happy with their results. It's your call.

What if I don't want magazine photos, can I just use my own pictures.. like my husband, my baby etc?

Sure. I usually color Xerox them so that I would not wreck my originals.

You can also paint what you want. Again, it is your call.

Is there any pattern i have to use when i put the photos or the words on my board?

No. You can do it any way you want.

I will say that in previous years my friends and I used to use the feng shui baguas for my pattern. Basically, I would break up the board into 9 areas.

123
456
789

1-Abundance
2-Fame/Reputation
3-Relationship
4-Family
5-Health
6-Creativity
7-Self knowledge (and travel)
8-Work
9-Helpful people and angels.

If you use the feng shui baguas, you will naturally cover all most all areas of your life, as you can see it is all represented there.

How much time do I have to build my map?

Ideally, you should build your map during the new phase of Aries New Moon, which ends Wednesday April 9 2:22am PDT

Do I have to do it alone or can I do it with friends?

You can do it either way. I build mine with my two other friends. We are like sisters and it felt so right to do it with them. We started them together. I know that there are several people who have little parties where they invite those close to them over. It's a lot of fun to do them with others. We would all pass around the magazines: "hey, I found a great beach bungalow does anyone need a beach vacation?" Or, "I have got to lose 10 pounds, any ideas what I should put on my map?" and lo and behold! Someone will come up with a good suggestion.

Do I have to finish it all at one sitting?

No. Often I used to cut my stuff out with my friends. Maybe glue a little thing here or there and then take it home and finish it there over the course of a day or two.

Can my kids do it with me?

Yes! it is great for them to focus and think about what they want. They also might give you their thoughts about what they think you should have in your life. Helps them to think beyond themselves, right?

Does it work?

Yep.

I don't want to sound like a spoilsport, but I’m just not interested in building a collage. Can I do something else?

Sure. You can take a nice piece of orange paper and write something like, "Wishes during Treasure Map Time". My wishes can sometimes feel like prayers and they are much more broad in my desires. But I will say this, I felt like I needed to switch to 'less is more' after several years of mapping. I would encourage newcomers to make the actual maps. But if you really don't feel the call, then just write your desires down. I like orange paper. So vibrant. So Aries.

Is it okay to have things continue over to the next year? Long-term, ongoing stuff that has progressed but needs to continue to progress?

Yes. Of course. But with a small caveat. My sense after doing these for years is that, when something really takes time, and doesn't gel in the first year, there may be something not yet right, or personally constructive, about that desire. It may or may not be something you are aware of. For example, one friend shifted from her map from year one to year two by focusing on less material things. That kind of energy is really constructive. The most important thing for you to do is to always reach your gut and seriously ask yourself what it is you really want. You may find that you need need to shift something about your long-range goals. My sense is that they need a wee bit refining or broadening. Just a thought. But definitely don't give up on your dream.

I'm really excited! Is there anything I can do now before Treasure Map to help my map?

Yes, yes, and yes. I have said this in previous years and I'll remind everyone now. The period just before the Treasure Map is called the Balsamic Phase, which is the end of the moon's phase. This is the phase when we get rid of stuff. Get rid of clutter. Get rid of things that are bugging us. Get rid of ick. Try if you can to clear some space in your life so you can be ready for the treasure map. Remember, Einstein said, "no two things can occupy the same space." Read that sentence several times. Now ask yourself, do I have space in my house, my family, my time, my life in general for more? If the answer is 'no", then start housecleaning!

Clear out the stuff between now and the 5th. Now do you understand why it is important not to start your map before the new time?

By the way, I personally don't buy any of my supplies before the New starts. But I know some of you can't do that, so if you must, buy before. Put it aside and don't touch it until the New. Don't thumb through magazines. Leave it all be.

Good luck and dream big!

Short(er) term, I'm going to be writing letters to my three 'selves' - a Dear Body letter, a Dear Money letter, and a Dear Me letter.

Funny, it just hit me that one of my defining moments was a critique/destruction of a Dear Me letter I wrote when I was 13. I think that Me has been cowering under the chair in hiding ever since. Poor Me.

Anyhow. I want to be able to examine how I interact - and think, really, about each of those things - where I want them to be, and why, and what I am willing (and am NOT willing) to do to get there. I would like to run this in parallel with Second Realm, but a little faster, so I'm going to be giving myself 'homework' at some point, every Thursday.

Homework 1 is those letters to myself - due 04/02/2008
Homework 2 will be my Treasure Map - due 04/09/2008

So, that covers the next two Thursdays - I'll figure out my going forward work from there.


I'm also going to be reading The Highly Sensitive Person. After having read just a few of the blurbs on her site, I'm convinced that not only AM I a HSP, I also need to understand how that affects me in order to REALLY move forward on anything in a deep down, major way.