Wonderment

So - I managed to get sucked into Dallandrah's offer to join her online writing group, and I treid my hand at the 'BOC' thingy, and then I went to read my old writings.

And serisouly - why don't I finish ANYTHING? I've been telling myself that it's like steam - I don't ever have quite enough of a head to slam it through to the end, and the second I hit a sucky part - I quit. Maybe I'm a quitter. I don't know - but I do know that I start out STRONG. It's just a matter of - finishing.

I'm going to be off for a while - ah, lovely vacation. I'm going to 1) clean the house from top to bottom and 2) write. If I'm not cleaning or cooking, I'm going to be writing. I figure that I should be able to get back into a groove with at least ONE of my stories (maybe I'll freaking finish the iLlium) and - *sigh* at least do something with it.

*blinks* I'm tired ya'll. I'm tired of working at a job that doesn't attract or motivate me. I'm tired of not doing what I want to do in order for me to do what I 'should' be doing. I'm tired of - not being myself! Dammit.

My boss was telling me today about a book called 'Living what you Love' about this couple who decided that if they didn't LOVE what they were doing - they wouldn't do it. *nods* that's what the hell I need to be doing.