Here we go again, gotdammit

I've been with my husband for a little over six years now, married for two. When we first got together, I had been purposely abstinent for a year, and wow - those first couple of months of sex were - stellar - out of the universe - totally amazing.
Since then, my level of sexual desire has dropped, and dropped, and dropped, and dropped - and his has stayed at the same redhot level it was to start with.
We have an almost PERFECT relationship - except for the fact that I MIGHT want to have sex with him once every two months, and he wants me in the sack three times a week.
We've argued, cried, I've gone to therapy (where the doctor basically told me to have some wine and think of England), and I'm at my LAST string.
We refuse to get a divorce over sexual issues, and we want kids - really, we click EVERYWHERE except for the bedroom.
My question is - is it - unfair of me to not have 'one-sided' sex with him? Has anyone else ever done that to save their relationship (have sex despite not wanting it) and gradually - gotten used to it? Can having sex, when there is no sexual desire, create sexual desire? Prime the pump, so to speak? And how long does that take? Will resentment build up in that period of time? 

And why am I so resistant to even trying? I've never been able to connect love and sex - in fact, when I was growing up, I was told that the fact that I loved someone was no reason to have sex with them. Now, I'm being told 'If you loved me, you'd have sex with me!' and I'm still reacting with resistance - but he's my HUSBAND.
In a way - he's right, isn't he? Or is that the root of my problem - I don't think that anyone should have the right to dictate my sexual expressions - including my husband - and if I give him that right, I'll slowly start to abdicate all of my rights?
Why can't I think of it the other way around - by GIVING him my sexuality - he'll GIVE me himself. Seems like a fair trade, but it seems so - manipulative to use my sexuality so blatantly to obtain what I want - a father for my children, a partner for my life.
But - as much as it - bothers me - as much as it feels like - an abidication of something I never really claimed - I'm willing to try. *laughs* Maybe I should read some GOOD submissive porn to get my juices flowing - which, I actually like - but I don't feel like he's strong enough to have earned my submission.