Overload, Overload

Things I want to do with myself.....

1) Finish my freaking doula training
2) Immerse myself further - and regularly - in studying Kemetism
3) Grow 60% of our vegetables and fruits and 20% of our meat
4) Create an extremely energy effiecient house
5) Decorate our house
6) Lose weight
7) Pay off debts
8) Honor my friends/family/husband better

I think eight is enough, yes? I've been quietly muttering to myself  for WEEKS now about how much stuff I want to do/learn/be involved in, and how I most likely need to actually set up a - class schedule for myself. Cuz see, I desparately require structure and schedules, because I'm naturally a mulitasker, and if I don't have things outlined properly before I start, I end up running around like a chicken with it's head cut off - bouncing fruitlessly from one thing to another. Of course, I'm also rather talented with self-sabotage by procrastinating dreadfully as I try to 'organize' everything before I'm ready to start. Really, does all of life require such a dainty highwire act?

Looking at that list calmly, I - I honestly don't even know where to start. First, there is knowledge, then there is application. Perhaps the first thing I need to figure out is a timeline for each one..... how long am I 'giving' myself to do this stuff? Then - maybe with that outlined, I can take a breath and realize that not everything has to be done at once. So.

1) Finish my freaking Doula training.
I've got the details of what I need to do written out already - and I believe that my packet expires in April of  2007 - so that gives me a pretty solid timeline - 11 months.

2) Immerse myself further - and regularly - in studying Kemetism
I - I don't know where I want to reach with this - I honestly think that this will be an on-giong path of study from now til - forever. Let's say that my timeline here is more on scheduled time - twice a week, after work.

3)  Grow 60% of our vegetables and fruits and 20% of our meat
Another relatively long term process. I'd say I'd want to be at this point by Harvet 2009, which really, gives me all of this year to prepare the ground and pick out viable species, and next year to start growing, Harvest(s) of 2007 and 2008 to really get into the swing, and hopefully Harvest of 2009 will have me at this point. Of course - this one alone includes so much OTHER side stuff - I really do need to write all of this out.

4) Create an extremely energy effiecient house
I'd like for this to be 50% done by this winter (the stuff that requires exposure to outdoor air like replacing/recaulking windows) and then finish it this winter (like reinsulating the attic and maybe blowing some cellulose into the walls).

5) Decorate our house
Bah - you'd think this would be the easiest one - but once again, it's so overwhelming that I don't know where to start. Actually, that's not true. I KNOW that the first room we will do is going to be the library - period. The next will most likely be the downstairs bathroom - but once again, there a bit of a learning curve - need to write this out in detail too.

6) Lose weight
Gah!! Consistent, on going, always - but it's really becoming - important. Not important - crucial. I don't know how much I weigh, I really don't WANT to know how much I weigh, but I can guarentee you that I could lose 100 pounds and NOT be considered underweight. That - I'm certian of, and it - concerns me. How can I live healthily, if I'm not - healthy? I'm - I'm really not interested on going back on Atkins, largely because - I want to focus on eating real food - not soy protien/whey powdered imitations of food. If I want bread, dammit, it's going to be homemade with a smear of butter and a dab of homemade jam. I don't think that's asking for too much - *sigh* I need to find a natropathic doctor too. But - I was talking about timelines. Hm. *sighs* yet another ongoing process. Let's say - by 2007, I'll have lost 25 pounds. That's a little less than a pound a week.

7) Pay off debts
*laughs* This is actually the only one that I'm pretty - calm and confident about. Our budget has been shot all to shit since the Amazing Race trip, and our move has totally changed the baseline outflow, and hopefully C will get this other (much, much, much higher paying) job, and well - I've firmly decided that we will at least get a bit of a grasp on our income/outflow by the end of the month, and most likely over the next month tweak it a bit - but I strongly suspect that we will be out of debt (except for the mortgage) by mid 2007, if not late 2006. Okay, late 2006 is a delightfully hopeful dream, but we shall see.

8) Honor my friends/family/husband better
This one is so vague - but it's ongoing, and it's something that I MUST do. I have to get better at not just creating, but nuturing the relationships that I start. I don't quite know how - but, this is something that I must figure out.  Gah. We aren't even going to get into my nerouses around interpersonal relationships. I need a good self-help book.

Hmm... I kinda feel better. Sorta. *sighs* Okay. The ongoing things, are automatically on my platter. Relationships, Weight, Kemetism, Debt.  Then the short term stuff - Library, Doula, Knowledge of Garden type stuff.  Then, the longer term stuff - Energy Effieciency, actually growing stuff in the garden.

Ongoing stuff.... Weight will have to be addressed daily.  Relationships will have to be addressed daily. Kemetism, two days a week - back to back days - so let's say Wednesday and Thursday. Debt, once a month - maybe twice - but it's on a weekend, so let's say Sundays.
Short Term stuff.... Library should be a two, maybe three weekend project once we decide exactly what we want to do to it. So, let's say for the next week, that's my goal - dig through all of those decorating magazines/get paint books/and put together a real deisgn for the room. Doula - I have GOT to email A - I haven't talked to her in a while *sheesh* because I really knew that for the month or two that I was house obsessed, I would be screwing shit up. So, I'll email her this afternoon....then find a farking childbirth class - even if it IS the one at Baptist/Methodist this weekend. Knowledge of Garden type stuff - humph - I'll write out the full plan later today - I have a couple of book winging their way towards me, and I need to unpack the seed magazines, which are hidden in the depths of the library somewhere.
Long Term stuff - The only thing I really need to look into RIGHT now are windows. *sighs* This is an old house, and I doubt that ONE window in this house matches any other window, so yeah, this'll be fun. I wonder how hard it is to replace them yourself. Based on DIY - it's not that hard - the hard part will be finding windows that match the house - I don't want ultra modern looking windows. *makes face*

It's interesting to me - how much stuff I've started to HAVE to write down, because there just isn't enough room in my brain for all of it. Gah, I've GOT to find a good doctor. *snorts* Of course, the likelihood of him/her being covered by my insurance is laughable, but - *shakes head* I'm so not physically well.  I'm seriously about to have to ressurect my daily planner. And - I had already said that I wanted a white board in the house to keep up with stuff.