tipsietoes

*tink*
*tink*
*tink*
*tippietippietippie*

shhhhh.... I'm sneaking home now. 4:15, and I haven't done anything worthwhile for the last 3 hours.

shhh.............

bbboooorrreeedddddd.........

So - I got here at 9am, stayed till 10:30am, ran out - took the drug test, expressed mailed the paperwork back to IP, got back at 12:30, worked for about an hour, scarfed down lunch, made another lunch date, and now it's 2.
It's snowing like HELL (hell is cold - you are aware of that, right?) and I'm bored stupid. I decided to sit on my hands (literally if need be) to NOT turn in my letter of resignation until AFTER I get the signed paperwork back. I hate drug tests - have I ever mentioned that? I just don't TRUST them - which is funny, since the reason they make me take them is cuz they don't trust me. Ah well - the chickie at the lab said it should be about a day or two (tuesday & wednesday) so hopefully I'll hear something from them on Friday. Which would mean that my last day here would HAVE to be the 18th, which would then only give me a WEEKEND to get my ass to Memphis to be able to be there on the 21st. Of course, itf they set the date at the 28th, that would be swwweeeett - butI doubt it.

Gah - I need to get shtanking drunk so I can forget, just for a little while. I whipped through like 6 books this weekend since when I'm in their world I'm not in fine, which is really all good - but - GAH! I reaaalllly hate waiting.

Got a doctors appt tommorow - hopefully it won't take TOO long - though of course, it's not as if I care anyhow. Gah. My brain/heart is soooo not here anymore. and I'm not busy enough to keep my focus. I suppose I could run a test, butI really don't bloody feel like it.

taptaptap.

*sigh*

calm....

Well- let's see.
I've gotten the paperwork, and I've filled out most of it. I'm going to take the drug test tomorrow, send the rest of the paperwork back, and I figure (hopefully) that I should hear back from them by Tuesday, say?
I've got my letter of resignation on my desk, waiting for my boss to finally come back to work. I'm still debating whether I should wait to get the final approval back from IP before I give them the letter - and I think that I will. *sigh* Dangit! That means that I'm going to have to push it back to the 15th, which really ain't that bad, as it means I'll definitely get that last paycheck - it's just a matter of how many days I'll have for breathing room.
For the same reason, I haven't given my lease termination notice yet - I want to be sure that one bridge is built before I even pull the match out of the pack.
Though - enough people know at work that if something does happen, it's going to be rather - interesting scrambling for something else. Tsk. Shoulda kept my mouth shut.

Bleh. trying to waste time till I can go home. Wanna go home NOW. Gotta run errands & stuff.  *sigh*

it just struck me....

Oh. my. god. I'm getting the HELL out of  INDIANA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (see previous entry) (as I'm too stupidgiddy to even be coherent)

*grin* *grin* *grin*

Okay. 

Really - we clicked. The company is cool. Their schedule is CRAZY. The city is warm. I'm as positive as I can be without actually SEEING the offer that they are going to MAKE an offer. Now - the only debate is money. Well- not a debate with them, but...well - not really a debate. I'm wondering how much they are going to offer. They definitely need me DESPARATELY *hheheheheh* and soon. Everyone I interviewed with was VERY positive about me - they tried their best to scare me with the details of what they do - but I took it all as 'CHALLLLLANGE!!!!'.

Memphis itself was lovely! Soooo warm - flowers and trees blooming - just all the signs of a true southern spring!

I'm - babbling......it's just  a waiting game now - waiting to see how much money they offer.

The sucky part? C thinks that he may have found a REALLY good job here! Eeek! I KNOW that if they offer me anything that starts with a 7, I'm snatching it up - and I'll be moving in a MONTH (or less) but - he might really want to stay here. Ugh! He's still thinking about it though -and I'm trying my DAMNEDST to just keep my mouth shut and let him make his choice. Though of COURSE - I want him to come WITH me dammit. Dammit. And as they are willing to help pay to break the lease (though I never did double check our lease to see the restrictions) it'll most likely be

*bounces*
*taps foot impatiently*
*bounces somemore*

Update 9:52am - Talked to the recruiter. He said their excited, and he's glad to hear that I'm excited.  Told him that I refuse to go a dime below 70K.  The usual upcharge for switching positions is 15%, and I told him that I make 62K now (actually 58K - but once the bonus is factored in, it's 62K). That, plus 15%, is 71K. - yes, I'm a tricksy girl. He said he's going to try for 75K, and if they balk, he'll go to 72K plus a signing bonus. *twitch* I might have to wait a day or two, huh? Shite.

Update 10:21am -Talked to the recruiter. 72.5K!!! plus a 2.5K signing bonus!!! I accepted!!! I'VE GOT A NEW JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  *giddy* *hot* *grinnin*

*giggles*

I gotta go call C.

Week Two

Well - one good thing about Atkins - it provides results quickly. I'm down ten whole pounds (whooohooo!) and feel like I have a bit of a handle on things.

I've been documenting everything on my Calorie King (finally got the damn reg.code for it) and I LOVE it. Not only does it have damn near EVERYTHING in it (I mean, seriously) it's also sovery conveinent - and it lets me keep track of the calories and the carbs and in case I want to give myself some wiggle room - the fiber too.

What else? I haven't started exercising yet (bad girl) cuz I'm so bloody stressed and tired - but I'm going to give myself a month then start. So yeah - like March 15th. I haven't really figured out what I'm going to do - I'm thinking about the extreme weights class again  - that really rocked. But at the same time, I'm so into myself that I hate exercising with other people - I'm too damn judgemental.

Hmm....maybe - if I get this job - I'll hire a personal trainer (see J, this is how you manage to make more money and still spend it all). That would workfor me I think - having someone who ISN'T related to me all up in my ass on a regular basis, and who actually knows what the hell s/he is talking about. Hm. And I don't want none of that girly shit either - all cardio. I hate cardio for one thing, and for another weights work you both ways - so screw that. I Luurrrvvveee lifting weights.

Okay - I keep going off on one tangent or another. I just need to sit back, relax and BREATHE until tommorow.

heh.

http://www.fitforlifememphis.com/
http://www.energymemphis.com/

 

Whhoooosssssshhh

Okay. Going to Memphis tomorrow (I wonder what the weathers going to be like?) have to pick out an outfit (black slacks, blackjacket & hot pink shirt, I'm thinking - if everything fits right) buy a little portfolio thingy to hold all of my extracopies of my resume and a notebook and all the other random stuff I need  - need to wash my hair and tighten the hairline up - can't forget to take out my tongue ring and put the placeholder in - it would be nice if I had a chance to buy some new earrings.....

I feel like I'm flying - just the rate of speed that everything is going at. If everything goes well, I might be out of here by the 28th - maybe the 21st. I'd like to be here for our Aniversary though - if I get hired, how are we going to split the furniture? I won't need much  - C is going to stay here until the lease is out unless we can get them to pay it off (need to read copy of lease and see what the early exit penalties are) but I'dlike for them to pay to move the heavy stuff down - maybe I'll go light (stuff in the car only) and when he comes we'll bring all the heavy stuff?

I'm sooo excited - almost over the whole guilty feet thing - *grin* I'm doing this for me! for us!

Though I was crying last night, trying to figure out how we can start a family without stability - how I'll ever be able to be a mom & go back to school - I've got a well woman exam Thursday to check the IUD, I'm almost positive I had a miscarriage over Christmas because the next cycle I could feel it damn near hanging out - I should feel sad if it was, but I'm relived, I figure the little one knew it wasn't time yet - though I had a dream last night of a positive pregnancy test (not yet goddess, not yet)

I said that my minimum would be 75K - maybe Ishould shoot for more? What if they don't even give me an offer? I can't imagine any way that I could screw this up at this point....I saw at least one of my references, and fuck, I'd hire me in a heartbeat, so I hope they feel the same way...I need to check and see if the other references were contacted.

I'm tired, so very very tired - had to spend ALLLLL day saturday with C's damn family - giggled a little and didn't get too upset (though I hit a horrid low blood sugar patch that nearly had me in tears) because if all goes well, it will have to be really big events that will bring us back there.

Played with a lovely little 5 month old half of the night - I'm so sick of them telling me I need pratice - I damn near RAISED 4 kids before I was 14, trust me, I don't need any bloody pratice in loving a baby - played with the older kids too - have I mentioned how much I hate how they interact with the kids in that house? It's bloody depressing.

I can't wait to shock the shit out of them by whipping out the boob. Hah.

Played YuGiOh on Saturday - so hooked on that damn game it's sad, sad, sad.  Played for like 6 hours while I washedclothes.

Ah yes - must put clothes away tonight - maybe I'll do my hair on the way there - I want to go through my books and figure out which ones I can sell to HalfPrice Books and clean up my shelves just a little bit - the room is overtaken by books.

---------------------------------------------- ah work interupptions - now I've lost my flow. my steelo - and it's only 2pm.

Almost 4pm now, I'm about to leave.. I took tomorrow off for 'personal business' and hopefully, I'll have enough time to do my running around. I think I'll go to Tarjay - they should have everything I need. Then go home, wash hair, try on clothes, breathe. :)

eeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

guilty of being excited

Yes, yes I know - all I can talk about is the potential for a new job. I don't really expect it to be much different - but the simple fact that it IS different will make it better - at least for long enough for me to roll over into doing what I really want to do.
But - I feel soooo guilty. Maybe it's because I'm keeping a secret from most people at work, and while I merrily do things and work my ass off (in general) - I'm rushing back to my PC to check my external mail to see if I have another 'iron in the fire'. I talk with my boss about things that are going to be happening in May, and I know damn well that I have utterly NO intentions on still being here then. I feel like I'm treating him unfairly - like I'm treating my team unfairly - not by leaving, as they can kiss my entire sunshiny ass - but leaving when I'm the only one who can do some of the things that I do.

I just got a raise too - 5% - which ain't nothing to sneeze at - but *sigh* I might be able to get a 35% raise by leaving.  I'm going to be working on the Australia release, but I'm still going to be LIVING in Indiana. I'm finally getting a promotion to the next level, but I can jump over that level entirely by leaving.  I'm not trying to make a career here, or there, for that matter. I'm just working to pay the bills and save a little and have a little fun - and dammit, I'd rather move at  85 miles an hour than at 58 miles and hour, ya know? *snort* I just have to keep chanting to myself 'What would they do if I was hit by a bus??' (not that in any way shape or form am I saying that I'd rather get taken out than walk out) but...... *sigh* I'm nice, dammit. And even when I'm fed up, I still want to be nice. And even when I know that I'm not going to get what I want out of the relationship, I still have a hard time breaking up.

But at least I know that this time, I'm not going to be the one crying.

Mwauahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa......................

Second Interview.....edited!

Hmm... I'm not sure, honestly. I think that I might not be as technically strong as what they are looking for, and I have a slightly broader functional base than what they need. However,  I definitely like what they are doing, what my position would be, and they sound like friendly enough people.  The hiring/team lead is supposed to get back with me, so I suppose that how long it takes her to get in touch with me (or with the recruiter, really) and see what they/she says.
Nervous, nervous am I. But - hell, if it doesn't work this time around, it'll work next time.

edited: They LIKED me!!! Talking about setting up a face to face soon! How exciting! Memphis! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

 

Seriously sista.....

Whhoooaa boy. Stepped on the scale yesterday (in preparation for getting BACK on Atkins today!) And glory got DAMN! *sigh* Rolling down that hill again I am. So - seriously - I'm starting today.
I have this book called the miracle of mindfulness - I'm going to read that one tonight, after we get home from grocery shopping. I figure that is a large part of my issue with a lot of things - I tend to start running on automatic instead of living in the moment and really THINING about what I'm doing/eating/breathing/saying. So - that's really lazy - or maybe easy is a better word - the path of least resistance - and I'm going to stop that.

That's my weekly goal this week and next - be aware. Stop dulling my mind with multitasking. If I'm reading - read. Don't read and watch TV. If I'm eating - eat. Dont' eat and read (HARD ONE). If I'm talking to C - talk - don't chat online at the same time. Focus and enjoy and respect everything that I do at once rather than trying to slam it all together.

I did something yesterday that was stupid, and then did something smart today that made up for it. I was in another work area yesterday, and there were Girl Scout cookies out.  Now, I LOVE Samoas....so Idon't consider the eating of them the stupid thing. The stupid thing was the buying of a whole box from a coworkers who's daughter was selling, and having an entire box of my favorite cookies sitting on my desk this morning - the morning I'm starting back on Atkins. The something smart that I did was walk around my entire team, offering cookies and chitchatting. A few people turned them down -but I had exactly enough cookies for everyone who wanted one. And I didn't eat a single one. That makes me proud of me - I can do the right thing, I just have to put my mind to it.

And this time - I'm actually setting weight goals. I usually try to flitter through it - saying that 'Oh, whatever I lose I lose' but I realize that is removing all sense of accountability from the process. I'm going to try for 1.5 pounds a week. Once I've lost ten pounds, I'm going to start exercising. I haven't decided on the reward yet.

I'm going to actually start out on rock solid induction (BLEH!) and mid-range calories. I LOVE my little Calorie King doohickey on my Palm, as I can set multiple goals - so, if I want to stay under 20 carbs, and under 1500 calories - I can do that, and then easily switch back and forth to see how much I've eaten through my daily allowance. And - it lists almost ANYTHING I could possibly consider eating and it's small and subtle enough to be whipped out at any time.

One thing I do need to do is get a big cup for my water regimen again. I think I might swing by Arby's and see if they still have their giganourmous cups - I like those, they are easy to wash, and they come in pretty colors.

But most importantly - I need to flow day by day by day. Mindfully.