Damn Love Songs

I have just one question – What is love? Can someone write down logically what love is and the three main signs that you had found a love worth keeping and worth opening up for?

Yes, I have heard that love is not logical, but there has to be some guidance, something that outlines what is and what is not real. I have had love that I thought was real, but I have always said that if it fades away, it was never real in the first place.. but is that really true? Can’t you love someone, and then stop loving them? People change, and what we love changes with us.. right? So how can you ever love someone for life...if you are changing?

Or does what you love have to change too? *sighs* I mean really… I can claim to have been truly IN love twice in my life, both times with men who were rather…inaccessible, mainly because of distance. My other relationships…they were real at the time, and there was some serious affection going on, but never was there a real LOVE thang. And I knew it at the time, even with Tashi. As sweet and as strong and as beautiful as what we had was, I knew it wasn’t something that was going to be a real long term thing. Hell…even with Little One, as much as I loved him, I knew there wasn’t really any chance of what we had being real and turning into something that would be there for the long haul.

Me & Papi…. *sighs* That was something real… or at least I thought it was. I often wonder how it would have gone had we ever graduated up to the level of having a real relationship, and not an internet one. So… basically I have no clue what a real in your face, get sick of him and then love him again, circle of life kinda love feels like…and I need to know what it feels like so that when it finally hits me, I can hold on like a mad woman and never ever ever ever ever ever let go. But at the same time, I also want to know what it feels like so that I won’t waste my time trying to hold onto to something that looks like something real, but isn’t. Because really, I don’t want to cling to some fools gold and get my hopes all up to only end up doing something or making a choice that is based on something more false than true.

And I’m sick of people telling me… ‘When it happens, you will know’ *snorts* yeah.. okay. So what about the times when I thought I knew, and then realized that I really didn’t know shit? Or what about those times when the person I was with thiught THEY knew, and I knew that they didn’t know shit? Or what about the times when I didn’t know, and looking back, maybe I should have known? I mean damn…for something so important to be so much of a game of chance… that isn’t even cool in the least bit. *sucks in breath* Patience Patience Patience.

Stay Jazzed.