Is that a word? Preoccupated? I know that preoccupied is a word, but is preoccupated the past tense?? Anyhow.
Howdy Ya'll!!!! I've been drifting through diaries occasionally, leaving the very infrequent note - largely because I've been preoccupated - preoccupied. Whatever. Um.
Went to Atlanta, for the book conference - was very odd, as 95% of the attendees were authors, and I felt soooo outside of their little cliques - esp. considering I don't read most of them. I'm not into 'drama' books - I'm allergic to drama, and therefore it isn't very entertaining to me. Umph. Let's see - what else? Met a couple of friends while I was there, got utterly stanking drunk one night (just the MEMORY makes my head hurt) but generally had a shiteload of fun.
Umm....went to a Pagan Pride Festival a weekend or two ago, sprained the dogshit out of my ankle there, still had a buttload of fun.
(Why does all of my fun involve ass somehow?)
So, anyhow - the preoccupation. Nope, not pregnant - just. *sigh* I - don't know how to put it into words that anyone else would understand. Well.... that everyone else would understand I suppose is really how I want to say it. I've - I've always been a little out of step with the world, ya know, and it's always been right. And - I don't trust my deep gut feeling of utterly paranoid worry enough to worry others - but at the same time, I trust it enough that I feel like I would be totally - totally - unlike me to keep it to myself. So....I'll break it down for ya'll the same way I broke it down for my husband.......and give ya'll some links.
Hey, I might be crazy. It might never happen....but so much of what is going on today would make sense, if it WAS going to happen.
All finite resources follow a bell curve path of availability. When they are first discovered, only a little is able to be accessed - and as time goes on, it becomes easier and easier to access the resource, so that every year - you are getting more and more of it. But - it's a bell curve, so at a certain point, you'll reach a peak - you're getting as much of it, as you will EVER get. The resource is still there, it's just harder to get, it's more expensive, and there is less of it available.
Oil - is approaching its peak. *smiles* Even the petroleum industry has acknowledged that we have gone through about half of the oil that is expected to be found on earth - and the demand for oil is rising at it's fastest rate ever, helped by our friends in the Indo-Asian part of the world, at the same time that the supply is diminishing.
So what, you might say? Gas prices will go up - I'll just drive less.
I wish it was that simple. EVERYTHING that you do, EVERYDAY uses oil somehow. Think about the trucks that got it to you, the machines that built it, the packaging it was wrapped in, the car you drove to get it, the utilities at the store that sold it to you - EVERYTHING we do, from food to fucking, involves oil.
It's not that the world is running OUT of oil - nah, we've got a couple of decades before that happens - but the world is running out of CHEAP oil. The world is running out of oil that can be easily refined. The world is running out of oil that can be easily pumped.
And without a net worth around Bill Gates - if you live in the 'standard' American world, you'll be affected. It's not that there won't BE any gas, it'll just be unaffordable - at least if you want to pay your rent and keep the lights on too. It's not that there won't be ANY food (did you know it takes 10 calories of oil to produce ONE calorie of food?) it'll just be outrageously expensive. It's not that utilities will stop working - they'll just charge exorbiant amounts.
So - that's been what's been preoccupying me. I was dirt poor once, and I have no intentions of going there again. So - I've been making plans. We've been making plans - the previous entry about our budget was about as close as I could get to - talking about it. *sigh* We're actually looking to buy a house - someplace near the city, but with enough dirt under/around it that we can grow/produce a good bit of our own food. We're saving gigamounts of money so that we can buy a house and have it PAID off, as fast as possible. Everything I do - suddenly has a single focus - is it sustainable? Will it help me prepare for my future? Is it really needed? And nah - this single minded focus won't last forever - just until we are 'stable'. Just until we AREN'T living from paycheck to paycheck. Just until we can actually depend mostly on ourselves, and don't HAVE to have a huge amount of money to just LIVE.
Gah. I might be UTTERLY crazy. This might be another Y2K. But - it makes way too much sense - esp. considering what is going on ALL around us - to simply brush off.
In Other, More Cheerful News:
It's officially been a month since I quit smoking. I've smoked *thinks* twice? since then - once in Atlanta (I think that is why I got so damn sick) and I smoked a clove at the Pagan Pride Festival. Both times, Bleh. It was like - and WHY the hell did I used to do this daily, multiple times a day? It's actually been easier than I thought it would be - I do still crave a cig occasionally - but that's all it is. A hmm - I'd love to have a smoke, but *shrugs* oh well.
It's still odd to only have one cat. G has become MUCH more affectionate and talkative, and I think he's finally accepted the fact that Nikki is gone. *sigh* I still the occasionally free kitten offer, and I consider it, but rather like the cig, I decide against it.
My job is duller than a box of rocks, and most of the time is twice as slow, and my coworkers - well, they are different. But, ya know what? I'm making good money, doing what I'm good at - I've got time to write, I've got time to look at houses, and I'm doing well. Life ain't never perfect, right?
C is still enjoying his job - though he is running into some personality conflicts as well. I swear, I WILL break down in tears if he loses yet another job. Seriously.
Haven't come to a conclusion on Birth control - we owe the doctors money somehow (weird ass health insurance) and I reufse to go back until I've paid her. But in the meantime, I want to talk to C about the Billings method, where you keep an eye on your cervical mucus. Seems - interesting, and easy, and doesn't reuqire you to wake up at the same time every day.
I've fallen in love with my DayTimer plamner thingy. My life is in there - seriously . I keep track of all KINDS of stuff - and it's roomy enough that I've got more than enough room to write - but small enough that it cuddles into my pocketbook nicely.
I'm starting to do budget grocery shopping using a pricebook, but I want/need an electronic one that can be held on my palmpilot. I stopped using it a while ago - shortly after the last diet debacle if I remember right, and - I'm trying to charge it now, and hoping that the thing isn't TOTALLY dead. Ah! Just came on - must have needed a certain level of charge.
But, speaking of dead technolgy, my personal damn laptop has died AGAIN. This time, I think the backlight of the screen has gone out. What I might do is what I threatened to do last time, and just get a damn monitor to hook up to it, and detach the screen alltogether. I don't know. I haven't decided yet.
I think I'll be around a little more, now that I've gotten that off of my chest. Gah, I've got a shitload of catching up to do.
No comments:
Post a Comment