Bugger, but I'm moody.

Broody, moody, grumpy, introspective.

That's me. I haven't been writing much (anywhere) unless it's superficial stuff. I have good days at work, and good days at home, but the good days at home make the majority of the days at work so much more - futile feeling.

And usually, when I'm feeling rather pointless, I don't write. How - interesting. When I was younger, the only time I COULD write was while I was neckdeep in some sort of teenage angst - now..... just nothing.

Maybe it's because I KNOW it's all a matter of timing, and really, I'm just being impatient/inefficient/lazy, and I refuse to bitch about things that I can change - but aren't.

I slept like CRAP over the weekend too, which I'm sure adds to it. I simply could NOT get comfortable - and actually it was just Saturday and Sunday night. Both Thursday and Friday night I slept - normally. Saturday night, I might not have gotten a full HOUR straight of sleep. I would start to fall asleep, then try to get comfy, then drift off, then wake up 40 minutes later, then take another 30 minutes to go back to sleep, then repeat, and repeat, and repeat. I gave up, and got up around 7am, simply because it was so FRUSTRATING trying to get comfy.  Was awake all day - finally drifted off (after a sinfully good meal) on the couch, was sleep for about 2.5 hours (now THAT was lovely) and then spent another 3 hours trying to get sleepy enough to GO to sleep (I woke up around 9:30 or so). I didn't WANT to go to bed, as I was scared that it would be like the night before.  I drank some water, went potty twice, curled up under my good blankie, and it still took me about 45 minutes to go to sleep, I woke up twice to go potty and nce when C came to bed, and that was about it. I still slept WAY too lightly, and I'm grumpy/irked/tired now. *glares* *sighs* And my leg STILL hurts. It's like I don't get the usual menstrual cramps, my thighs just ache. It's not PAINFUL, it's jsut bloody damn uncomfy. *squirms & sighs*

Well, at least it's Monday. It seems - wrong somehow, to inflict this sort of sourpussedness on any day of the week besides Monday.

*sigh* I suppose I should eat some lunch - if I want to lose weight that is. And can I tell you how personally tearjerkingly frustrating it is to be aware that I have to do what I've trained myself not to do (eat, that is - frequently - no ED over here - I don't think) in order to lose weight??!?!? All these YEARS of eating the tiniest bit possbile - and come to find out I've been sabatoging myself. It's bloody irksome, is what it is.