Utter, and complete, Insanity....

See, I KNEW I was crazy!! That whole long, angsty diatribe about my husband yesterday? We were at home, talking about something (I think it was the lack of eggs in the house) and jsut naturally it started flowing - I explained that I wanted to start eating healthier and exercising, and I had been talking to a few friends of mine who gave me pointers, and that I wanted to be sure that our grocery list relfected that.

Sooooo bloody easy. He was down with us eating healthier, but so totally not interested in the P/C/F breakdowns that I have to do. As I explained to him - you, really only have 20 (he negotiated me up to 25) pounds to lose - and considering how EASILY you lose weight - you don't have to be NEARLY as strict as I do! so!! That was soooo simple!

Anyhow. I think that (as usual) I'm taking things in too big of chunks! I need to remember that this is just the start, and I don't have to be PERFECT from the beginning - I just need to make my best effort. And as long as I'm making my BEST effort, I'm going to get better, and better, and better - and soon, I'mma be the poo, and others will just have to take a big whiff.

So - now here comes the fun! Figuring out the food - as well as a way to figure out foods WITHOUT driving myself utterly bonkers. I think I have some recipe calculating software tucked at home somewhere - and I'll definitely be using this : Google Spreadsheets so that I can keep track of stuff both at work and at home without having to use my iPod as a portable drive. 
I've been looking at body builder websites (because they have diets that are closest to mine) but - those men (mostly) are INSANE!! Chicken breasts and canned tuna seems to be about all they eat - almost no fats! I'm SUPPOSED to get 100g of fats, and I plan on enjoying each and every gram!! Also - they tend to stick to very American recipes - I LOVE eating from all different cultures (and plan on having MUCH sashimi - I mean, it's PURE low fat protien, but dished out in an amazingly yummylicious way) and I KNOW that other cultures will ahve high protien/low fat/med carbs foods that I will enjoy and appreciate. I'm already plotting on how to make my own pita bread for lunchtime sandwichs - in my mind, loaf bread REQUIRES a spread to make a good sammich - but pita bread doesn't.
This whole diet - and my recipes - are going to be about making food that is quick, healthy, yummy, and helps me lose weight. Really, except for the losing weight part, isn't that what MOST of us want in our daily diets? And I honestly don't think it's difficult - it's just not been properly RESEARCHED. *wide grin*  
For example - I've already come up with breakfast - I'm going to cook  3 egg whites, and 1 egg - well salted & seasoned - into 4 little rounds about the size of a McMuffin. 1/2 oz of cheese sliced into two pieces (or even less) and two sausages, or ham, or chicken, or bacon - or whatever kind of meat, and a smear (I'm think 1/2 tbls) of jam. Yummy, filling, doesn't feel the LEAST bit depriving, and has: 364 cals, 43g P, 17g F, and 5g C. Most of the carbs come from the jam, and most of the fat comes from the sausage - oohh!! I wonder what the playout would be if I replaced the sausage with a breakfast patty, MorningStar style?? Hmmm... it drops the protien by 4g, drops the fat by 3g, and UPS the carbs by 7g! I think I'll stick with the real stuff - esp considering I'm SUPPOSED to be getting 20g of fat a meal - that's actually a little low - but that means that I could cook the eggs in butter!
But - that's going to be brekkie most days - I can switch out bacon, or just some cheese - or whatever I want in the middle. It's something that can be made ahead of time, will freeze well, pops in the microwave easily, AND is easier to consume (at least for me).
I need to work on similiar ideas to that for ALL of my meals - I want to do this for the next week during the week, so Friday I can go and get anything fresh that I need for meals for the next week, and then Sunday I can cook.  As time goes on, I'll develop recipes I love, stuff I hate, and I'll figure out how to mix and match things well. I'm NOT going to learn how to do this without actually DOING it. And since I'll be doing it, I'l be able to spread it over a longer period of time, and it WON'T be quite so overwhelming. 

I am crazy sometimes - way tooooooo inside my head, and stubborn. Here's to change!