The Dash Between

Did I mention that I'm not going to be weighing myself?

I had almost convinced myself of this last time - saying, quite logically too, that if this was REALLY a full life change - something that I was doing for my health, then the pleasure of doing it - and doing it better than I did before - was the only reward/carrot/result I should be looking for. The numbers on the scale WILL change - as long as I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing.

I'm serious this time - no scale.

And - I'm amazed at how sexy exercising makes me feel. Okay, that's not absolutely correct - it's more that I'm not in the depths of despondency over mah fat arse because I'm actually TRYING to do something about it, rather than continiuing to sit on the aforementioned body part and stuff dingdongs in my mouth. Not that I actually EAT dingdongs (I prefer Oatmeal Cream Pies) but, you get the idea.

I did my first independant wieght lifting workout yesterday - Oh my god! One good thing I can say, is that when I was done, my thighs hurt less. Yes, I thought that was odd too - considering I had worked out with the demon whom I shall call D (otherwise known as my personal trainer) on Monday, and had skipped a day on Tuesday (because I had taken a half day from work, and also because my thighs felt like they were going to physically rip themselves from my body) - but after working out yesterday I feel almost - normal. Nay, human even. My thighs still hurt when I first stand up and start to walk around, but - other than that - it isn't half bad. So, I guess working out isn't half bad, neh? Though, squats and shrugs are still el diablo himself - I'm delightfully satisfied when I'm done. 

The fitness center that I go to is popluated by mostly BOYS which is vaguely creepy/embarassing/oh my god I am teh suck/ but I firmly try to ignore them, make sure I have the proper form, and pretend like I'm a hawt strong girl doing this instead of an almost hawt utterly weak girl trying to get hotter & stronger. There is one girl there who dares to touch the weights, and another woman there who I don't think knows that the weights EXSIST - but other than that, it's a pretty small crowd. But then, it's late in the year..... I'm sure that after January, it'll be ass against the glass in there - for a month or so, and then people will fade away again. 

Umm - I've tweaked my points system a little, and corrected a REALLY obvious mistake, and I'm going to use it for the rest of the week, and then see how well it turned out for me....but I think that I will stick with it.  I was debating punishments/pointlosses for eating 'bad' foods - but no. This is a life long change - there is no such thing as a 'bad' food - there are jsut more supportive and less supportive foods, and if I want to eat something that has all the support of a 12 year old bra, then dammit, I will. Technically, I WILL lose a point because it won't fall into protien/starchy carb/fibrous carb - but I just really want to get away from the idea of good food/bad food. 
I need to work on a shopping list, dammit all.  Grocery shopping MUST be done this weekend.  I need to put together some meat & veggie combos for lunch - though, I suspect that sandwiches and soups will be a favorite. I had oatmeal for lunch today - YUM! I think it'll be easier for me to deal with that for lunch than anything else. I'm also thinking about making some breakfast burritos and freezing them, to give me a quick grab yum! for snacks. Hm. 
I think that's it, for now. Must do grocery list TONIGHT!