4:20

Sheesh.

This has been a busy day.  I went to DollarTree to get some tests - as apparently they are the best damn thing EVER for early results.

I've done only two cervix checks today - still no pink, but less creamy discharge - maybe this is just going to be a REALLY long cycle? Jeez. My cervix is also retreating - it's going higher up, and it's getting softer. No where NEAR as hard as it was before, and I think it's opening a little. Hrrm - I wonder if that is a pre-period indication?

I was checking out my charts, and I noticed that when I have longer periods, I have shorter cycles. Short period = longer cycle. What's up with that?

I've had - twinges. Not quite cramps, not quite not-cramps. Just - odd things. And considering my ute would still be the size of my fist, I'm figuring it's my psychosomatic side coming out. 

Tomorrow will be CD45. Which, would be equal to the longest recorded cycle I've had - of which, I started spotting on CD44 (thus the obsessive cervix checks of late).
Of course, it doesn't mean that I won't start bleeding Saturday. Maybe that's what those twinges are. But they are so damn MILD. And my legs don't hurt. And my back doesn't hurt. I've never looked forward to/not looked forward to AF this much before in my life.

I bought three tests. One for tonight. One for tomorrow (if needed). And one for Monday (if needed).

Oh! I wasn't nauseated today - well, I was a little, but I realized that I was actually HUNGRY. How fucked up is that? Hunger doesn't feel like hunger, it feels like hurling.

Gah, I really hope that I'm pregnant, otherwise I'mma feel REAL stupid about all these 'symptoms'. I should pay this much attention to my body ALL the time.

I'm not sure what I'm more scared of. Being pregnant, or NOT being pregnant.

But, right now, at 17DPO, the choice is out of my hands, isn't it?  

4:51