I'm Back....

Notes from the trip. I realized while I was gone that most of my favorites ( at least the ones who leave me notes) only accept safe notes. As I wasn’t going to log in (and then reset all the favorites who had written) I just read…and of course by the time I got here to RE-READ the entries… I forgot what the devil I was going to say. *shrugs*

I had forgotten what is was like to feel ‘fine’. In Indy, I tend to feel like an invisible woman. Too black, too fat, too natural with my hair & my style…too whatever that just doesn’t fit what the folx up here consider to be fine. In Atlanta though… I just feel RIGHT. It’s the little things, the appreciative glint in a brothers eye as I walk by, the easy smiles, the approving pauses, the acknowledgement that - Hey, there goes a woman, a sista, a fine thing that I am gonna take a break out of my day and feast my eyes on. Damn shame…I was there for what? 4 days? And I can feel a difference in my stride, a slinkiness in my step, and wee bit of a bounce to my booty even… DAMN! I really miss that city. I need to come back… I need to find a new job and move back to Atlanta and live there for a long long long time. It truly is home for me.. I am however, still quite glad that I left. I needed some time away to.. grow a little. Breathe in some different air, develop a little more. I definitely feel like I am an ‘older’ woman now than the womanchild I was when I left. Of course, the gorgeous weather, the fact that I was wearing skirts most of the weekend, and the sun in my hair MIGHT have added to all that…but I was even feeling the city when it was raining and dreary. *sighs* I can’t wait till it gets warmer here. A woman can only feel but SO lovely when she is covered from head to toe in ‘cold weather’ gear. Yeech.
Supposed to spend some time with ThatGuy today, but as his plane is leaving at 6:00 pm, and I haven’t heard from him yet, I’m guessing that ain’t gonna happen. *shrugs* I’m not stressing it. I got a response of some type… what more could I really ask for? *laughs* How bout we just NOT go there?
Cheffy is fine… I missed him so much. I realized one of the reasons I am considering asking him to move in is financial… I figure if he lived there he would pick up part of the costs of him being there.. rather than just feeding (literally) offa me. Groceries ain’t cheap man. And he is there all the time anyway! *sighs* Though it would be nice to have the house to myself for a while…play some Jill Scott realllll loud (though that girl talk about love love LOOOVE too much… I’m still trying to be hard core).. it’s not even that. I want it to be WARM dammit… so I can open the windows and let spring into my home and my body…let the sun shine shine shine in every window. *sighs* This winter shit is realllllly starting to grate on me.
I wish I could draw… I have this wonderful idea for a anti super heroine….but I can’t tell anybody cuz then I won’t be able to get the royalties… : ) yeah.. anyway.
Back at this damn job. *sighs* I’m just not into it. That’s the problem. It isn’t really the job… it the loose yet tight structure of the company… and the utter boredom of what I am doing. Gooooodddddddd it’s just sooo damnnnn dull. Bureaucracy sucks.
I got some of the stuff I ordered from e-bay. The bra is too damn small so I’m a little bitter (yet ANOTHER reason to lose weight) . Speaking of losing weight.. I have joined one of those lovely lovely Yahoo Clubs that is all about support for Af Am women to lose weight. *sighs* I don’t wanna talk to the people in this office about it (we ain’t THAT tight) and most of the sistas I know are Little already… so.. I’m turning to some e-sistas to help me out…do a little hand holding and some rebuking! *deep breath* I’m going to make it… somehow.
I’m gone.

Stay Jazzed.